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Alwerd54 · Apr 30, 2009, 06:28 AM

My girlfriend of over a year has decided to take a break. All of a sudden, something clicked in her head and she feels that we're too young to have such a serious relationship. She doesn't want to miss out on all the experiences life has to offer. Mind you, she was always the one who talked about the future and what not. I tried to avoid any such talk of it, because I didn't want to get my hopes up yet again. We've decided to take a break and agreed to no contact for 2 weeks. As hard as it's going to be, should I not contact her at all in order to get her back into my life? I love this girl so much, and would marry her if we weren't both on the verge of finishing up college. Should I not contact her? What if she contact me, should I respond?

kctiger · Apr 30, 2009, 06:33 AM

Leave her alone. Forget the two weeks, YOU DON'T contact her at all. This was her bed to undo, so if she wants to fix it, she will be the one responsible for doing so. You can experience plenty in life as a couple, you don't need to break up to do it. I am sorry for your loss, but I will say that breaking up with my ex was the BEST thing that ever happened to me as a person. Read the stickies on this forum. We are here for you, and we ALL know how hard this is.

Alwerd54 · Apr 30, 2009, 06:41 AM

Well I appreciate the fact that there are forums such as this. I've gone through a break up that people would think is ten times worse, but mentally, this one is the hardest for me. I guess one of my problems is, I never showed her my complete true emotions all the time. I tired to keep them in, because I too thought we were young and I wanted to have a fun relationship and just go with the flow. She talked about the future and I would listen and acknowledge the fact, until eventually I gave in and I too discussed the future. She's in a sorority with her sister. All of whom, have serious relationships. Her best friend pops in and out of relationship in search of commitment. I just wonder if it's outside influence or if its something else. She doesn't seem like the cheating type. I just want to have her back in my life. Trying to figure out the best course of action to do so.

talaniman · Apr 30, 2009, 07:26 AM

Give it two weeks, and see how you feel. But for gosh sakes, act single, and enjoy it. You think she won't?

Alwerd54 · Apr 30, 2009, 08:13 AM

Thanks for the advice. I'm trying to take it in strides and do stuff that keeps my mind off it.

bswc · Apr 30, 2009, 08:40 AM

You're lucky that you both are still able to let in 2 weeks to clear the thoughts and mind. My girlfriend says she wanted to be friends with me and MAYBE good friends but the fact that she isn't interested in replying any of my text anymore. Work it out !

God bless you! GODDDDDDDDD !

Alwerd54 · Apr 30, 2009, 08:51 AM

She wanted space, so I decided to give her, her space. Thankfully, she goes to school 30 minutes away and I don't see her on a daily basis. After the two weeks, she'll be back at work, unfortunately, a place we both work at :/

I wish · Apr 30, 2009, 08:55 AM

Originally Posted by Alwerd54

She wanted space, so I decided to give her, her space. Thankfully, she goes to school 30 minutes away and i don't see her on a daily basis. After the two weeks, she'll be back at work, unfortunately, a place we both work at :/

That's how she came up with the two weeks I guess. Just leave it at that. Do your own thing until the day you see each other again.

Alwerd54 · Apr 30, 2009, 09:10 AM

A friend of mine told me, if she truly cares, She'll call you before the two weeks. If by the two week mark she doesn't call you to meet up, you have to call her, then you already know what is to come of you two in the end. Sad, but true. In a way, I'm kind of dreading getting to that point.

I wish · Apr 30, 2009, 09:15 AM

I know it sucks, but you can't force someone to like you. You've been together for a year, so she probably knows you really well. There's not much more you can do. Just hope for the best. Keep yourself distracted so that you don't feel so much pain.

Alwerd54 · Apr 30, 2009, 09:17 AM

Trying to keep myself distracted. I'm happy it's finals week. I have to study, still, in a way, it's keeping me from focusing on school

Romefalls19 · Apr 30, 2009, 09:18 AM

A song taught me a lot about these "breaks" since my ex did it to me. "You do you, Imma do me" and then just do exactly that.

Look at the "break" line threads, they don't end well for people like you. It's an easy way to break up. Step up to the plate, give her the space she wanted and go out and enjoy life.

Alwerd54 · Apr 30, 2009, 09:42 AM

Thanks everyone for the advice

Alwerd54 · Apr 30, 2009, 09:48 AM

What I don't understand, she wants to be on her own and make her own decision, not let any outside source influence her, but yet, she's going around asking people what she should do??

bwgv · Apr 30, 2009, 12:20 PM

It's a tough call on your part to talk or not to talk, you know your situation, she might be testing you, or should has been wanted to leave for sometime and might be feeling guilty about something, ( another person) and her talking to will only make her guilty, I was going threw the same thing, the girl who was head over heels for me asked for a break and started seeing another guy right away, and hasn't talked to me since cause I know she feels guilty and is rebounding. It was long distance girls don't ask for space unless: seeing someone else, family problems etc. they would still keep contact you if they saw hope the relationship. Good luck

Alwerd54 · Apr 30, 2009, 01:47 PM

Yeah, I just wish there was hope. What sucks is I have the opportunity to switch stores since we both work at the same store, but I don't want to make the move and make it seem on my part that I think it's completely over, but then again, I don't want to wait only to find out that it's done and over; then I have to stick around and watch her have a good old time, while I'm there miserable.

bwgv · Apr 30, 2009, 02:03 PM

Well I can promise you that if you keep seeing her all the time your feelings for her are not going to fade, maybe her not being around you and not seeing you might bring up curiouscity in her mind and make her think about you and start to miss you. I'm not over my ex yet and I know if I had to keep seeing her and hear about how good her life might be I would be back at square one. Time to be selfish and worry about you and do things to make you look your life is amazing with or without her

Alwerd54 · Apr 30, 2009, 02:15 PM

That's the problem. I know I will see her everyday at work. In my last break up, I was able to move away and go to college, which was a big help in getting over my ex, but I don't want to run from my problems. It's like I'm playing devils advocate!

Alwerd54 · Apr 30, 2009, 03:53 PM

Threads merged and edited.

She think's we're too young to be in a serious relationship and she loves me, but doesn't and needs time to think. We are in two weeks of NC, with today being the first day. I found out I have the opportunity to take a job at another store since my girlfriend and I work at the same store. Should I apply for the job or stick it out. If I take the job, I have to move and my girlfriend and I will be over 2 hrs apart.Here's what I'm thinking

IF I GO

*Am I running from my problems
* is it saying that I give up, I'm throwing in the towel and I think its completely over
*I'd have to move

IF I STAY
* risk the chance of things working out
*stuck seeing her everyday if things don't work out
*Still live at home and could be in pain because of the B.U.

I don't want to run from my problems, I don't want to throw in the towel, but I don't want to be miserable. HELP!

bwgv · Apr 30, 2009, 05:54 PM

Well let me say this, you never want to make it seem like your running away and that she got the best of you, don't let her know your leaving because of her, then she will know she has power over you which is not good, you need to access the situation and find out how to get her to chase you, girls want what they can't have. You can't give someone space when you see them all the time, that is not space, you need her to start missing you, and that can't happen when you are around her all the time