For school we're having to write a persuasive paper on a topic of our chosing. I recently had to switch mine because, i was having issues finding information on my other topic. The topic i got switchted to is 'Contraception in schools' basically whether or not school nurses should or should be allowed to give out contraceptives, confidetially and at low cost. Just out of curiosity more than anything i was wondering what Other people thought about this topic. Any of your opinions would be apretiated, and/or imformation that could help me with my paper...

Altenweg

The thing that worries me about this is the fact that teenagers don't always think things through in a logical fashion, there is another option to what you are suggesting, and that is suicide. Some kids would rather end their own lives than go to their parents with a problem, it happens everyday. Some of these kids really don't feel that they have any choice, they'd rather end their lives then risk the anger, disappointment etc. of their parents. You would obviously be there for your kids no matter what (for which you deserve a pat on the back) and I think that most of us would do the same, but are you sure that your kids know this, are you absolutely sure that if push came to shove they'd come to you? I'm just saying that things don't always go the way we think they will, you can have the best relationship with your kids, open communication and support and they can still make the wrong decisions. What if you take away every available option to them? They might just make the worst decision yet, to end their lives.

ETWolverine

Altweg,

You raise an excellent point regarding teen suicide.

But will the chances of a parent figuring out that their kids suffer from depression increase or decrease if we allow kids to avoid communicating with their parents? Will it be better or worse if we make kids and parents communicate?

Allowing kids to avoid speaking with their parents about major problems doesn't solve the issue of teen suicide, it just postpones it until the next major problem comes up. But making sure that kids HAVE to go to their parents for help increases the chances that a parent will spot a problem and help their kid through that depression.

And by the way, I speak as a sufferer of clinical depression who is on medication and in therapy for such. I know that when I was able to AVOID dealing with my daily problems, the depression actually got worse because I felt that NOBODY could ever understand where I was coming from. But when I was forced to CONFRONT my daily problems and get help for solving them, I was making a connection with my fellow human beings, and suddenly I realized that they understood me and cared for me. (Granted, the Zoloft helped too, but that was only part of the solution.)

By making kids CONNECT with their parents, chances are that they will come to understand that their parents care for them, will help them, and understand what they are going through, thus limiting the impact of their depression. But by giving them the opportunity to AVOID connecting with their parents, what you are doing is reinforcing the (usually unreal) idea that their parents wouldn't understand, don't care, and wouldn't want to help them. That results in an increase in the impact of depression.

So while I agree that teen suicide and teen depression is something to consider in this discussion, I believe that getting kids to connect with theior parents only helps the situation, by increasing the chances that parents will spot a problem before it happens, and by making the kid realize that he is cared for and loved by his parents.

Does this make any sense to you? I realize that some of it comes off as pop-psychology or armchair psychology, but this really does come under the heading of "systems theory" in psychology. There's a lot of literature to back up the idea of creating the healthy support system to counter depressive feelings. And also in support of addiction recovery, trauma recovery, and other areas of psychology. And it worked/is working for me in my own case.

Elliot

NeedKarma

Altenweg's question referred to the "what if they don't" scenario; then where does a child turn to? There is no 100% foolproof way to make sure that the kids will go to their parents for those that feel shamed by their situation. I feel that a third party outfit that can help the children is a good last resort. Beats losing your child forever.

speechlesstx

Bingo, just the words I was looking for.

speechlesstx

I have no problem with a third party solution but I think that party should be a mediator, make every effort first to reach a solution between parent and child. That may not be ideal but it beats the heck out of as Elliot so aptly put it, "giving kids a way around their parents backs." The group most mentioned, Planned Parenthood, makes it clear that when it comes right down to it they don't really care what the parents want. That's the problem.

Synnen

And yet...what if their parents really ARE more concerned about "how things look" or what it means to THEM than the welfare of their child?

I have a friend whose mother literally beat her, in hopes of making her miscarry, when she went to her to tell her that she was pregnant. The reason she told her mom? Because she needed parental permission for an abortion (she was 15 at the time, and had been raped by a guy she had been dating). She didn't feel her mother would believe her about the rape (and she didn't) and felt that an abortion was better than bringing her child up in the household with her mother.

What of those parents would would force an abortion or an adoption because "I'm not old enough to be a grandparent!" or "What will the neighbors think about how I'm bringing you up!"

If you take away other options than parents, you are also taking away a teen's right to choose her own options for an unplanned pregnancy.

And regardless what you think--there are ALWAYS ways to coerce your child to do what you want--like not signing permission for an abortion, or kicking you out, pregnant and alone with no support if you want to parent, or refusing to help in any way unless you sign something while you are still pregnant stating that you will give the child up for adoption. It may not be legal--but what teenager is going to NOT believe what their parents say when they hold all of the legal power over them.

Again--schools should not be dispensing medication, but I can't say that teens shouldn't NOT have the option to protect themselves either.

NeedKarma

That's your opinion of course, but it's not fact.

Planned Parenthood Connecticut, Birth Control, Reproductive health, Women's Rights
Planned Parenthood Southeastern Pennsylvania :: Educational Programs
Planned Parenthood Comprehensive Sex Ed Bills -

Altenweg

Wow, we've gone full circle and still haven't managed to find a common ground on this issue. Let's face it, we could talk until we're blue in the face and never agree on every point. I understand and respect everyone's point of view, but I do think that some of you are wearing rose colored glasses with respect to teenagers. I had a good head on my shoulders as a teenager, I knew the difference between right and wrong and had a very close relationship with my parents. Although they didn't expect me to wait until I was married to have sex, they did hope that I'd wait until I was in a committed loving relationship with the man that I would eventually marry before I took that step, I respected their opinion and honestly had ever intention of going with their wishes. I didn't. I fell into Lust (for lack of a better word) with a boy that I barely knew and one night I decided to push everything my parents had told me aside and we had sex. He did use a condom and we were careful but I didn't love him and I did feel guilty about going against my parents wishes. We ended up having a sexual relationship for a few months and one time the condom broke and I ended up being two weeks late. I was in a panic and didn't feel that I could go to my loving parents with this problem. I called up the boy and we decided to go to a walk in clinic for a pregnancy test. Thankfully it turned out to be a false alarm, but had it not I would have been grateful for the services available to me. I don't believe that I would have had an abortion, that is not something I could ever choose, although I do believe in a womans right to make that choice for herself. I know that my parents would have supported me, they would have stood behind me, even having known that I would have done anything possible for them not to find out. Yes, I would have had to tell them eventually, but I don't think that we should make it impossible for teens to find a way out by themselves. Yes, they are still kids in a lot of ways, no they are not always intelligent enough to make responsible decisions, but at least we should give them options if they have no where else to turn. If you take away PP etc then you will force all teens to go to there parents, not everyone is a good parent, not all parents will support their kids, your kids will be fine, what about the others?

NeedKarma

Some parents will even kids the teens out of the house.

Altenweg

My point exactly, some kids really have nowhere to turn to.