For school we're having to write a persuasive paper on a topic of our chosing. I recently had to switch mine because, i was having issues finding information on my other topic. The topic i got switchted to is 'Contraception in schools' basically whether or not school nurses should or should be allowed to give out contraceptives, confidetially and at low cost. Just out of curiosity more than anything i was wondering what Other people thought about this topic. Any of your opinions would be apretiated, and/or imformation that could help me with my paper...

speechlesstx

First I would be disappointed in my child for not coming to me, but if they treated, guided, prescribed, counseled my child in any way contrary to our values you're darn right I would be hopping mad. I'm the parent, not them. I raised them, not them. I changed their dirty diapers, wiped their snotty noses, cleaned up their messes, fed them, paid for their upbringing and taught them my values. As long as my child is loved, healthy, and exhibiting no signs of abuse it's none of their %$%@# business. I don't get what's so hard to understand about that.

ETWolverine

Charlotte and NK,

What about cases where the teen THINKS their parents wouldn't understand, but are actually good parents who would help their chidren out one way or the other. I know of quite a few cases where a kid thought that their parents were going to "disown" them or "throw them out of the house" over some misdeed or other, but in reality the parents were VERY supportive. Quite often when a teenager says that he/she is going to be thrown out of the house, it's just typical teen angst talking, not reality. Teens tend to be overly-melodramatic, and they play out worst-case scenarios in their heads.

So... do we take these kids at their words that their parents wouldn't understand, would throw them out, would disown them, and let them get abortions without parental consent, when the reality is more likely to be that parents would be supportive and loving? Do we cut the parents out of the equation based on the kids' say-so, when the kids are very likely wrong about their parents?

And don't tell me it has never happened, because I've seen it happen. Kids very often don't go to their parents because they think that parents wouldn't understand or would hate them for what they have done, and most often they are incorrect in that assumption. Most of us have tried to hide something from our parents because we thought they wouldn't get it. Would our educators have been right to cut our parents out of the equation in those situations?

Elliot

NeedKarma

What's the point of doing various low percentage what-if scenarios? We could do this all day by creating scenarios that fits our arguments.

ETWolverine

That's the point, NK. It isn't a low-percentage scenario. MOST parents are loving, supportive people who love and care for their children. It's genetically ingraned into humans to be that way. The cases where parents are NOT loving, caring and supportive of their kids is the low-percantage scenario.

Or do you deny that most parents are loving and caring of their children? If so, please supply some sort of data to support that conclusion.

Therefore, if most parents care, if most parents would be supportive of their children even if they got pregnant, then why set us a system designed for the few who do not have supportive parents, and deliberately cut the good parents out of the decision-making loop?

Elliot

charlotte234s

I'm saying that if he chil doesn't feel comfortable, then their parent hasn't helped them enough. The parent should sit the chil down and explain to them that f they need anything, even if they think you might get angry or be disappointed or whatever, that you will understand and they should come to YOU. If they don't feel comfortable doing so, then you've nt done your job right.

The problem is that parents should be there and not be letting their kids go get pregnant or have sex without them knowing about it anyways.

speechlesstx

Good grief NK, I have neither said or assumed any such thing. All I did was disagree with the assumption parents have failed because their kid went to PP, you cannot logically come to your conclusion based on that.

speechlesstx

Man I have seen more than my share of cynicism today. You think the odds are low that a parent is going to care about, support and otherwise do right by their child? That's where we differ, I trust parents to take care of their children a hell of a lot more than I do PP or the government.

NeedKarma

Holy sh*t, where did I say that? What the hell is wrong with you???? Where did I ever say "the odds are low that a parent is going to care about, support and otherwise do right by their child"? My world revolves around my kids.

Altenweg

No apology necessary you also have a right to your opinion. We obviously live in very different places. I went to a catholic school from grade 3 until grade 12, we were taught that abstinence is best. We were briefly informed about condoms but not how to use them or there effectiveness. The year that I was in grade 12 (1988) four girls were pregnant in our school, all of them chose to keep their babies, 1 of them actually turned out to be a wonderful parent, she is still with the father of the child and they have 2 teenagers although one will be 20 next year. The other three girls didn't fair so well, 2 of them had their children taken away and placed in foster homes and the other one ended up leaving her child with her parents and running off. What I'm trying to say is that we all base our opinions on past and present life experiences, it sounds like you live in a place were teen pregnancy is rare, you are very lucky. I live in the suburbs in Canada, we have wonderful neighbors and live in a very safe neighborhood. We have many catholic schools and public schools, both elementary and high school. When I go to the shopping centre I see many teenagers walking around with their pregnant bellies, it makes me sick to think about their future because statistically most of them will not make it and their children will be the ones to suffer. I understand what you are saying about the parents responsibility to inform their children and parent their children, but the friend that I talked about that made it work when she conceived at 17 was from a wonderful Catholic family. They preached abstinence in their home they were very concerned hands on parents, she still got pregnant. My friend and her boyfriend had sex once and she got pregnant, she was shocked because she truly believed that you couldn't get pregnant the first time, she didn't have the information and she paid for it. It's this kind of mis-information or lack of information that scares the bejesus out of me. If you give a kid a gun and don't teach gun safety someone's probably going to get hurt, you can't un-shoot a gun, just like you can't wait until your child is pregnant or has gotten someone pregnant to give them sex ed and talk about taking precautions. Once again this is my opinion, but I do understand were you are coming from and I believe that because of our life experiences and upbringing we have formed very different views on this subject.

ETWolverine

Again, we get to the crux of the issue. It's the parents' responsibility, not government's, not school's, not planned parenthood's. And yet there are those who wish to take the parents out of the decision making loop, even though the responsibility is theirs.

But again, this doesn't answer my question.

When a kid feels that he's done Something Really Bad, that kid often tries to hide from their parents, even if those parents are loving, caring parents who will do anything to help those kids. They either do it to try to avoid consequences, or they do it out of an unjustified fear of their parents' anger. We've all done that at some point. At least I know that I have. Haven't you ever tried to hide the report card from your parents, or tried to say that your little brother or sister was the one who broke the lamp? We all have done something like that because we were afraid of getting punished. But does that mean that our parents were uncaring, unloving, or willing to throw us out of the house at the first excuse?

So when a kid gets pregnant and says she wants an abortion, but she doesn't want her parents to know about it because she's afraid her parents "will freak", are we to take that as gospel? Are we to assume that the parents really will freak, and that this poor kid is going to be abandoned by her parents? Are we to take the decision out of the parents' hands on the basis of the adolescent fears of the kid, and the wish to not face the consequences for her bad decisions?

Do we assume that any kid who gets into pregnancy trouble comes from a bad family that will mistreat her over this issue and not be supportive of their child? That has not been my experience in parenthood. Nor has it been my second-hand experience in viewing the actions of other parents. The vast majority of parents are responsible, loving, caring people.

By what right do we take the decision... even the KNOWLEDGE of the problem... out of the hands of the parents who DO care about their kids and want to help them? And what makes the adults at school or at planned parenthood any better than the adults at home for helping the kid making these decisions?

Elliot