[momofthree09]

I have primary custody of my three children. Their father has visitation on weekends and every other week during the summer. Our children are 8, 11, and 15. My question is... my Ex keeps trying to push my middle child to 'choose' to live with him. Sometimes he tells his dad he wants to but then he comes to me and tells me that he does not want to. I have asked his dad not to put him in a situation where he feels like he is being asked to choose. He is 11 and does not have the ability to make such a drastic choice. I believe that we as parents should be discussing and making any decisions as such, as the PARENTS and that the choice should be made on what is in our children's best interest. He claims he will take me to court... which I am not really worried about (as he was arrested on child cruelty just 2 years prior and sits on probation for spanking our two boys too hard.) I have fought to keep my children safe, but the courts seem to think because he attended parenting classes and anger management classes... that they gave him some visitation back. I do feel that fathers play a huge part in kids lives as I was a daddy's girl... but I do not believe that the kids should be able to make such a life changing choice as 'moving to dads'. Am I wrong?

[stevetcg]

The children are never allowed to choose. If the non-custodial parent goes to court and petitions for a change of custody, the children MAY be ASKED their OPINION, but ultimately it is the decision of the court.

Barring some compelling reason why you should no longer have custody (abuse, neglect, etc) the likelihood of a forced custody change is minimal, especially in light of the history of the father.

[N0help4u]

You are right it is not up to the child even if you all agree. Let him take you back to court.
He would have to have good cause to change the custody order. Most he might be able to do is get it modified for a couple more days but I even highly doubt that.