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blondndisguise5 · Dec 8, 2008, 11:26 PM

I do not know really how I feel, my boyfriend broke up with me literally a week ago in the premise he needed to be on his own or with someone else to see if I really was the one he wanted to be with. And now is going out with another girl and he posted her ALL over his Facebook and myspace which he never did with me. I have been doing VERY limited contact the last week and now am going completely no contact, and I defriended him on Facebook. I don't want any part in his life. But I don't understand it, we were together for 3 years, how can he just be over it like that? And I told him I truly loved him more then anything in the world. How did love not win? I don't know how I feel... its like a disturbed sense of peace about the whole thing and an anxiety. Has anyone gone through similar instances? How did it end up?

pasiria · Dec 9, 2008, 12:03 AM

You say "how can he just be over it like that?" He never got over it because he never was in it. You say "how did love not win?" Not win over what, there was no competition, love wins when it is strong, when two people hold it. I'm so sorry for your loss. I feel your pain. You loved him, but it seems he didn't love you. This happened to me and it was 5 years later when I realized it. I found true love when I let it go. Let it go. Cry if you must, cry all you want, let it out and move on. How can you find an eyelash in a person without eyes? You must feel ashamed because he never showed you off and you must feel less than her. But, let me tell you, you are NOT less, you are who you are and you will find a man who you make so proud and this will be peanuts.

SimpleguyJoe · Dec 9, 2008, 03:20 AM

It could be that he started to fall out of love with you at some point in those three years... He might not be over you and is just throwing this new girl everywhere in his life so he can distract himself from you. 1 week out of a 3 year relationship sounds like a rebound to me. It also could mean that things were happening before he broke up with you.

But all this is irrelevant now because as far as you should be concerned he is a closed chapter in your life. There is no point to think of anything about this guy because all that will do is make the healing process take longer and make it more painful. So in reality just forget you even knew this guy

starbuck8 · Dec 9, 2008, 03:39 AM

Whatever you do, don't sit and wrack your brain and think there must have been something you did wrong. Three yrs. Is a considerable ammoumt of time, but would you have rather had 3 yrs. And a day, without knowing that the two of you weren't on the same page in your relationship?

I know it hurts now. I've been there! Unfortunately for a lot longer, only to find out I had wasted yrs. When that great guy could've passed right by my on the street.

Things do happen for a reason... even though they really do suck sometimes. But, think of it this way. He showed his true colors before you spent anymore time thinking he was the right one. I would take that sense of peace you have, and work on that. Give yourself some time to heal, and then get out and meet some new people. You will likely find the good guy in time, and you will thank the other guy for letting a new and more trustworthy man into your life.

kctiger · Dec 9, 2008, 06:48 AM

When one door closes, another one opens. Don't be stuck looking at a closed door, cause if you turn around and unblind yourself to reality, you will surely start to enjoy life more! I know it sucks, and I am sorry, but good things happen to good people. This is just life's way of saying it wasn't meant to be. Accept that and keep your beautiful head up and keep going!

ZoeMarie · Dec 9, 2008, 06:59 AM

You've gotten a lot of good advice here. It sounds to me like maybe it was over for him before you guys broke up. Maybe he had feelings for this other girl already. Who knows? Maybe she is the rebound girl. But like everyone is saying, don't try to figure things out, just let it go. It's better you guys broke up than continue a one-sided relationship. Like Starbuck8 said, if this had continued, a great guy might have passed you by. Break-ups are hard, they always are, but what you're feeling is normal and it will get better.

talaniman · Dec 9, 2008, 07:05 AM

You may be confused and not have all the answers you want, but you did the right thing for yourself, by stopping the contact.

Many times our feelings just change, and we don't know why, so we never know what happens next.

You will feel better later, and there will be others to enjoy, and share some good times with.