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Home > Arts & Leisure > Cigars & Tobacco   »   I quit. Why can't you?

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Old Feb 22, 2008, 11:40 PM
haloperidol
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I quit. Why can't you?

I was 13 when I first smoked a cigarette. For a couple of weeks, I smoked maybe a cigarette per day. Then I stoped. Never thought about it again.

5 years ago, when I was 17, my class got together on a Friday night. We were hanging out outside a night club when a friend passed me a cigarette. So I thought, "why not?"! It wasn't really a matter of pressure, I didn't feel like I had to do it or anything. I had tried it before and it didn't taste great, but it didn't taste awful. Actually, for me, the problem was that unlike my first experience, this time it tasted GREAT! I was slightly drunk and that smokey sensation mixed with the flavoured air I was breathing.... GOD, it really was amazing!

After a week I started buying packs. After two months I was smoking a pack (20cigs) per day. In 5 years, I only quit for a few weeks, for a friend I was in love with - but since it didn't work out, I started smoking again. Eventually, it became a part of me, of my lifestyle, of my self-image. I was a proud smoker.

However, my self-image started to change over time. Suddenly, I was not the stylish young writer and mathematician, with that mysterious cloud of smoke hanging around my hands, my mouth and probably my soul. I was just a fat guy with yellow-fingers, yellow-teeth and probably a yellow soul. I was always tired, always worried about the number of cigs I still had, did I have a lighter with me?! "Excuse me, can I smoke in here?"!! "God, I need a cigarette"!! The very first thing I did when I woke up was to smoke a cigarette and that was the very last thing I did before going to bed...

I was a slave, like all smokers! But like all smokers, I COULDN'T CARE LESS!!!

But then....... one day, my mother and I were having a conversation about love. She asked me if I loved her. I told her I did. So she said, "if you love me, quit smoking, like you did for that friend of yours you were in love with".

"Refuse! Make a scene! Show her she is being manipulative and trying to control your life! She is trying to compare the love you have for her with other kinds of love! Do not let her do this! If you do this, you will be conveying the message that it is ok for her to emotionally blackmail you from now on" -- my thoughts just screamed and screamed and screamed...

And then, from the back of my head, I heard a voice who was not telling me what to do! Instead, it was asking me one single question - "is it true that you love her?"

So I thought to myself, "yes, it is". "Then do what she is asking. It will not hurt you."

That was the FIRST MOMENT. Right there, I knew I was going to quit.

The next day, after lunch, I still had some cigs with me. I hadn't smoked since the day before, everything was going fine, but there I was, I had a great meal, I had a wonderful cup of coffee, so the cigarette would be the cherry on top of the cake. One cigarette would just make that picture perfect. I placed the cigs on the table, next to the lighter, just to look at them. I watched them. Then I touched them. And then I smelled them. I was going crazy!!!

I got up, left the cafeteria and bumped into a couple of friends. One of them was smoking. GOD!!!!!

It was starting to get too hard for me, so I didn't think twice - I took my last cigs and gave them to my friend.

That was the SECOND MOMENT. Right there, I knew I had quit smoking.

I haven't touched a cigarette in almost two months now and it hasn't been a problem at all

I quit. Why can't you?

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Old Mar 24, 2009, 04:38 PM   #11  
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Good for you! It is a nasty habit that hurts you and the people you love emotionally AND physically but you have to want to quit for yourself I think..not just for someone else I am trying to quit also but I find it difficult when I see other people smoking!!
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