hi- im 22 my boyfriend is 20 we have been together for almost 2 years and been living together for almost a year......we both had our problems when we got together (were young) but now he has done a 180 and very religious im not knocking this at all i think its great but i have changed just not religiously i want to but always find some reason not to study with him or to learn....i just recently found out i was pregnant im now 14 weeks and now he is wanting to jump in to a marriage which i feel is the right thing to do but im scared of divorce....but now that im pregnant he decieds to sleep on the couch and that its all a sin to live together sleep together and for me to be pregnant and unwed....i take this hard because i am pregnant and emotioal i know what the right thing it and what to do and i love him with all my heart but i just feeling like we would only be getting married because of the baby...what do i do any help please???

tawnynkids

Common law marriage is recognized only in the following states:

Alabama
Colorado
District of Columbia
Georgia (if created before 1/1/97)
Idaho (if created before 1/1/96)
Iowa
Kansas
Montana
New Hampshire (for inheritance purposes only)
Ohio (if created before 10/10/91)
Oklahoma
Pennsylvania (if created before 1/1/05)
Rhode Island
South Carolina
Texas
Utah

Furthermore, contrary to popular belief, a common law marriage is not created when two people simply live together for a certain number of years. In order to have a valid common law marriage, the couple must do all of the following:

* live together for a significant period of time (not defined in any state)
* hold themselves out as a married couple -- typically this means using the same last name, referring to the other as "my husband" or "my wife," and filing a joint tax return, and
* intend to be married.

It is not biblical to declare a couple that has had sexual intercourse, but has not observed any of the other aspects of a marriage covenant, as being married. Scriptures such as 1 Corinthians 7:2 indicate that sex before marriage is immorality. If sexual intercourse causes a couple to become married, it could not be considered immoral, as the couple would be considered married the moment they engaged in sexual intercourse. There is absolutely no biblical basis for an unmarried couple having sex to then declare themselves to be married, and thereby declaring future sexual relations to be moral and God-honoring.

So, what constitutes marriage in God’s eyes? It would seem that the following principles should be followed. (1) As long as the requirements are reasonable and not against the Bible, a couple should seek whatever formal governmental recognition that is available. (2) A couple should follow whatever cultural and familial practices are typically employed to recognize a couple as “officially married.” (3) If possible, a couple should consummate the marriage, fulfilling the physical aspect of the “one flesh” principle.

Both of these put better than I could and courtesy of nolo.com, Common Law Marriage and gotquestions.org.

Credendovidis

Dear Stephanny

First of all : there are here three different issues :
1 - You are pregnant.
2 - You are both having different religious views.
3 - You are not married.

Points of consideration :
- Being pregnant is a physical condition, unrelated to religious views and/or if you two are married.
- You boyfriend suddenly changing 180 degrees in religious views is not really a positive thing.
- Being married is not a requirement to happiness and welbeing.

Marriage or fixed partnership is indeed good in view of your pregnancy. But a marriage should not be based on your pregnancy, but on your needs, your wishes, your preferences, and your need to be together as a couple.

Your boyfriend's sudden change in religious views is not a good indication of mental stability. His sudden changed sleeping behaviour only supports that view.

If you marry him or not should depend on what you both want for yourself together.
If you have serious doubts about what you want together and/or feel about each other, than don't do it (at least not now).
The new life within you does not require a piece of paper that states that you two are married. A child needs loving parents. Loving the child, and loving each other.

What you need at this moment is psychological help for the two of you.
Discuss this with a professional, preferably not a priest of vicar, but if possible a psychologist or shrink. This specially in view of your friend's changed position and wishes.

Good luck to both of you !

Ciao !

RustyFairmount

God hates those who don't know how to use commas in their writing.

OK. Just kidding. But wow was your question tough to read.

Simply put: Two wrongs done make a right. Getting married because you think you're supposed to is just not right. Marry him if you LOVE him and want to be with him for the rest of your lives. God will love the baby regardless of how he/she was conceived. I'd be willing to be that the dad will also love the baby unconditionally. The baby and your marriage are two separate topics. Please don't confuse the two.

Your #1 priority is to your child. I personally believe that God will reward you for making choices that benefit your baby.