Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly..... This is a relationship question, but I chose to discuss this with other christians.

I am in a relationship with the father of my 2 year old son. we are not married yet, and we live together. I have always known the Lord, but I have recently renewed my fellowship in church, and have come back into the light. I was not in the light when he and I came together, moved in together and had our son.

God does not recognize relationships such as this. I know that he will give me the strenghth and the knowledge to make the right choice.

We are going to get married after I graduate from school. Should we move under seperate roofs until then. I am not trying at all to rationalize this, It is morally wrong, but we do love each other, we have been through some really rough times together, we are getting married, we have a son together, but he has no place to go.

I pray on this, but I would also like some words of comfort, encouragement and support from you all.

Chery

I'm not a member of any church, I am interested in all religion out of pure curiosity. But when I went to Sunday School as a child, I did learn that God forgives our sins - he sacrificed his only son to tell you that. In my opinion, your sin is very minimal compared to murder and mayhem. And you did ask for forgiveness, you did receive it. Also teaches to love one another, that sounds like you don't need to put anyone out on the street as you do have the highest intentions for the future. You can put needs of the flesh aside until the blessed day, but a child needs his father and should not be denied that. My best wishes to you all as a family!

Heirborn

Good afternoon!

I think a couple of things need to be addressed here. First and foremost is YOUR relationship with God, followed VERY closely by your child's relationship with God, and then your lover's relationship with God.

My advice is to live under separate roofs (if at all feasible) until your marriage is complete. It is my opinion that if we are "walking in the light again," as you say, that we should not knowingly continue in sinful ways.

That being said, I would also like to add that you have a HUGE part to play in your child's present and future relationship with God. Jesus held the children in such high esteem, that he told us grown ups that we needed to be more like them. But that also came with a warning:

Mt 18:6
but whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to stumble, it would be better for him to have a heavy millstone hung around his neck, and to be drowned in the depth of the sea.

Your actions have an effect on your child, both in the present and in the future.

Now, I must ask if your significant other is a believer as well? If so, then good, this should go at least moderately well until the marriage. If not, then you're opening yourself to a whole bunch of problems, fights, temptations, and spiritual battles. I just recently counseled a young lady in my church in just such a situation. I predicted to her a year ago what would most likely happen when her new-found faith collided with his selfish "my way or the highway" attitude. Sure enough, it did.

I must take exception to the previous poster's notion of some sins being graver than others. Sin is sin, and there are no degrees. That's something we humans made up to ease our conscience. "At least I only stole 10 bucks, it's not like I killed someone." In our worldly system, that's true. Stealing is not as bad as murder. But in the economy of God, sin is sin, and it's all abhorrent, and He cannot stand to look upon it. Hence the sending of His son, in whom we believers stand.

Tread carefully. You're not just affecting your life, you're affecting the life of your child, as well.

hanabelle

I completely respect your values and religon and Its good that you are wanting the best for your family but I think your being awfully hard on yourself. You obviously are in love with this person and they to you and you have a beautiful child together that you both love unconditionally; with so much love between all three of you, how can god look at your life and not recognize the pure love between you. I was raised with the same beliefs as you do, but unfortunately I found myself in the same situationwith a young child. I did go through the same feelings as you are expirencing but I came to a conclusion that I was in love with the man I lived with and I wasn't going to let any one or any religon tell me that I was a bad person because of it, not only that but I had a child to think about. There comes a time to do what you think is right based on your faith and then there is reality, YOU HAVE A CHILD TOGETHER, do you really feel it is wise to live in seperate homes when thus far you have been living together, that may cause more harm then good. If your really not sure then ask god for forgiveness and do the best you can with the situation your in. You made a mistake, GOD WILL FORGIVE YOU. Please don't be so hard on yourself. Good Luck and best wishes!

s_cianci

I don't think the question of whether or not you should live under the same roof is pertinent at this point. You've acknowledged your past sins and that is what's most important. You are already yoked to this man because you have a child together and that will be the case regardless of whether you are married or not. You are already married to each other in spirit if not legally. Personally, my advice to you would be to get married right now and don't wait until you graduate from school. I believe that's the right thing to do in God's sight at this point.

letmeno

I thank you all for your words of encouragement. As I have said before, I was not in the light when he and I came together, so naturally, neither was he. This saturday he told me that he was going to join church as a new member. I didn't pressure him into doing this, I suggested this. and I proceeded to go to service every sunday morning w/out him (praying that he would open his heart to this of course) More and more each day, he became intrested in the bible, what was going on in church, how it made me feel, etc. and then one day, it was literally like a lightbulb came on. We have agreed to move the wedding up. I don't feel as if putting him out on the street will solve my issue, but only create a bigger problem. My children attend service with me every sunday, I want the best for my family and again, I thank you all.

Chery

You are more than welcome! It is still my feeling that "God" is forgiving and sees good intentions and love, especially in an intact family. Those who preach fire and brimstone, and are human and not beyond sin themselves - to me, don't share the initial intent of religion, which is to guide and teach love for one another and not fear. Bless you and your young family and all the best to you.

dimples

I am not so much of a Christian but this I say. Marriage is not just walking down the aisle & saying "I do". I think this only came into practice few centuries ago. But I think the most important thing here is respect, love & faithfulness to one another. That is the universal essence of a real MARRIAGE.

Chery

I agree dimples, marriage was 'initiated' by early 'modern society' and has nothing to do with the history of beginning of man and evolution. I don't remember reading anything about Adam and Eve's marriage. The priority issue at that time was procreation and assuring the survival of man on this planet. But in this society, people seem to need more and seek guidance through religion which is interpreted in many ways, depending on life's trials and needs. The family unit is still the rudimentary focal point and should continue to be that way.

letmeno

Oh do i ever agree, women today are more driven by the "wedding", the white gown, friends, gifts, and the party.
However very nice and fun, after the party is over, then what?
Since this man and I have been together, he has changed in so many ways. This didn't happen overnight but, he gradually began to open up. If we stay together and stick together, by the grace of God, it will get better.