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Ok, so I have been dating my boyfriend for a year and a half. We are a very much in love and are both strong Christians. We get along so well, its almost unbelievable. He is truly my best friend and we are so close. We know 100% that we will get married someday. The problem is, we do not want to get married until we graduate college and are able to support ourselves. However, that is fours years that we must wait until we make love. Neither one of us thinks that we can wait and we are setting ourselves up for failure. Is it wrong for us to have sex when we know we are going to get married? How much does one legal document really say?
I don't know much about the rules of your religion. I say get the paper and go for it, if you aren't strong enough to wait. If you are, just wait. NO biggie.
In my opinion, sexual relations should be between a married couple. The sexual act is a total self giving of each other and a confirmation of the covenant the couple makes in holy matrimony. I think when a couple waits until marriage, it shows that they are truly committed and willing to do the right thing for each other. You never know what may happen over the next four years. I would suggest praying for continued strength in purity.
thanks biggsie, that website helped, but it did not say anything about Christians and premarital sex, which is my issue. If I was not a Christian, I know that I would just go ahead and do it, actually I probably would have long ago! I know that God gave me and my boyfriend this amazing love so would He be happy for us or would He look down upon us if we engaged in the act?
As for Chihuahuamomma, I would definitely go ahead and marry him, but we are both in school and still relying on our parents financially. It would not be smart to jump into marriage at this time--we want to do it right, when we are secure. Although it is very tempting!
This is just a very complicated and complex issue and I do not know what to do! I think my boyfriend, although very dedicated to being a Christian, does not think it would be wrong to have sex because we are going to get married.
PLEASE GIVE ME ADVICE! I'M DYING OVER HERE!
Being a former christian and in a stable committed monogamous relationship I completely understand...
I never had any doubts about engaging in sex before marriage I think that was due to my nondenominational and very liberal background (religiously I was taught to focus on my relationship with God not the rules and traditions but I know that's not how all christians are)
I can only advise you to be SAFE, use protection and/or get on the pill if possible although I believe you when you say you two will get married the last thing the two of you want is an unplanned pregnancy! but my rule of thumb (morally speaking) is to only engage in sex with someone that you are in a committed, monogamous relationship with... so i hope this helps!
again I can somewhat relate to you b/c i was a christian and i am in a long term relationship with my bf surrounded by family with christian values...we are both in college and are waiting to get married when we can financially afford it and when all of our grad school logistics are worked out...but we live together and practically act life a married couple, we just got to a point where the only thing matters is our love and commitment to each other not everyone else.
I have friends that got their marriage certificate for tax purposes and for their child without telling anyone. And had the actual ceremony two years later.
In general , yes in Christianity you are suppose to be married.
Luther in his writings believed it was proper for a engaged couple to have sex but his opinoin has not be accepted even within the Lutheran church.
In the early days being enganged was must more than it is today, people get engaged, break up and marry someone else three days latter.
Before there was a legal committment, and if you did not get married, there was still legal issues to deal with.
chihuahuamomma, i have to say that is a brilliant idea..and my boyfriend and i have actually considered it before, but then quickly laughed it off. but now that i think about it, it is not too bad of a solution. did the couple you know hide their marriage from everyone, even family?
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