Why do my kids hate me

Ok, so you will not like what I have to say, but you wrote in, so I will say it. I know that there are two sides to every story! The fact that all three kids have the same feelings towards you only makes me believe that you have a big role in all of this. It most likely is all of your fault! So you called late at night to make a big deal about them giving the stuff to Goodwill. You should have just let it go. I'm not saying you were or are a bad Mother, I'm saying to move on. If they want to speak to you then great if not then so be it. It's a sad loss! I do believe that those grandchildren have the right to see you as you do them!

It is quite obvious that you are hurting, and feeling the sting of being rejected by your children. I cannot imagine how that must feel, knowing they are adults and can make the choice to shut you out of their lives.

What I don't understand, is why. During the abusive years with their father, they suffered too, and although you divorced when they were young, they were old enough to suffer the consequences of a toxic marriage. Children do not get the nurturing and love they deserve when parents are at war with each other.

It is possible they carry a lot of the resentment of their childhoods. As adults, they can decide to live another way, raise their children differently, and choose not to repeat the history they lived through. Could this be part of the reason?

Are they in contact with their father, and do they have a relationship with him?

You say of your second son that, "I have no idea". How can that be. You don't know where he is, how he's doing, even if he is alive?

I don't know what you were accused of as far as your daughter goes, but child abuse allegations that actually end up in court are taken very seriously. I doubt that the judge laughed at your daughter. However that ended up, for whatever reason, is an understandable rift between the two of you.

Have you tried to write to your children, or encourage them to come home to even talk? Has there ever been a point where you could initiate counselling with one, or all of them?

I really doubt that with what little you have said here, that their perspectives on their relationships with you is accurate. It is not uncommon for maybe one to have 'bad blood' but all three?

I don't know how this can be mended, and I can't offer much without more information. It is sad that not only have you lost your children for some reason, but now your grandchildren as well. There is something in my opinion, that has happened that, as arnimal7 said, involves two sides.

And it must be significant to now involve another generation.

THANK YOU SO!... THE truth often hurts...

I have asked my family.. My friends... WHY... And they all blame my kids... BUT like you say... THREE... 1 maybe... But ALL THREE.. THE problem MUST be ME!

I am not sure what I did... They all had food, clothes, their own rooms.. And bathrooms... I have a big house... Cars... Money... Etc...

I did the PTA... The Boy Scouts... (my husband was too lazy).. I did screw up on the speed car... It got late... We built it... But the next day I had to work late and painted it HOT PINK... I thought.. Well.. It is the NEW color... WRONG!

OUTside of always giving my kids great Christmas's, really well planned out birthday parties... NOT to forget the time at the beach when I spend hours burying a treasure chest with an X markes the spot.. It was so fun watching the kids follow my MAP..

I always decorated my home for every occasion... And event... I even always insisted on making the Halloween costumes... MUCH better than store bought... "lazy way out"

I probably was TOO open about sex... Coming from my sister getting pregnant at 16 and having a lot of years of misery...

I will admit this... I placed condums in my son's bathroom drawers when they became what I considered "active"... I placed several... And talked to them about it... And invited them to share with friends.. WAS THAT WRONG?

I did not encourage sex... We had a lot of talks about that... And they knew where I was coming from... I explained that anyone can have SEX... But it can really mean something if you wait until you LOVE someone... Then... And ONLY then will it feel RIGHT!

I also was very hard on my kids about prejudice... I am white... (well... I look at my skin... And I don't see White.... Some type of yellow... With a numerous amount of brown spots lately... I think this is age... Probably goes with these stupid gray hairs I have...

My husband was no help with my kids... The first time I left my first son alone with him for 4 hours to take my Real Estate test... I came home to find my son in the bathtub... NO water... Thank GOd... But he had a dirty diaper... MY husband did not do Diapers... And My son had removed his diaper.. And at 14 months... Was having a blast playing in his S IT! BUT I made it clear to my kids that skin is not what makes a person... It is THE PERSON... I wish we could all just be Purple... That is my favorite color@!

The only abuse, I know of, with my daughter occurred vai my husband's mother which happened the first time I left my daughter with her for a weekend... (Actually this was the first time I ever left any of my kids overnight... With anyone... I was a bit protective... And a stay... At ... Home... MOM...

Neil 9, Chad 8, her 14 months old...

When I got to my mother-in=laws home... My daughter was in tears... She was 14 months... In the new Potty Pull Ups... She had a bout of diaraha>>> you know... Anyway... My mother=in=law... Had just had new carpet put in.. And my daughter did not make it to the toilet... And soiled her carpet...

When I got there... Lara in tears.. I found out that my Mother-in=law had taken her finger and dipped it into Lara's poop... Placed it on her nose... And placed her in a chair... She was made to sit there... HELLO... My daughter is not a DOG!

I was so pissed!

OH... And before you judge me too much... I am not complaining... I love your honest feedback... You are saying just what I think...

AND you are right..

BUT... In my defense for costing my kids their DAD... HE beat me many times... 3 times I ended up in the hospital... I have had several veneral diseases due to his need for whores... He justified it by telling me that he needed a 10 and I was just about a 7 or 8.

I have had women call my home truly scared..wondering why he is following them... And approching them... How did they get my home number... They went to great extents... They were that scared of him... And tracked his liscence number..

I will admit... I only tracked down 2 of them... And if I am a 7 or 8... These gals were a 4 or 5... I wonder why!?


I agree with you... Unlike anyone that Really knows me... You and I agree... 3 out of 3... IT MUST BE ME!

I have watched all the family video tapes... I have reviewed it all in my mind... Trying to find out what I did wrong... I can't find it...

I an not JUNE CLEAVER.. But... I was pretty darn close...

In the later years of my first marriage... I did WORK too much... I had to take on a 2nd job to make ends meet... I had a typing job.. On the computer... TO which my husband hated... Evidently I type too loud... And bothered him when trying to watch Johnny Carson... I got cused out a lot for this... I have since learned to type almost silently...

PS... I gave natural childbirth to all my kids... I breast-fed all my kids... I did science project... Extra projects... Book reports... And every night... As I cooked dinner... My kids sat at the dining table doing homework... And I drilled them on their tests... I guess that is why I have one son that is a DR... And one daughter that is a Vet Tech... And I also have a Chad... I don't know what he is professionally... BUT.. I do know what he is as a person... HE was always loved by many... He had more friends than anyone... HE was loved by many... PLUS me... HE might not have been given the gift of intelligence that my other kids got... BUT.. He excelled in personality...

On a desserted island... Who would I want with me... Not a Dr.. Not a VET... My son CHAD... He could figure out anything... And if he could not figure it out... He could make me LAUGH!

I miss him so much...

I miss all my kids...

You are right... IT is my fault... And this makes me sad..

I have attempted suicide so many times... And ended it with the words of my family... IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT..

BUT YOU ARE RIGHT..

IT IS MY FAULT..

AND I DESERVE TO DIE

You must have done something for all three of your children to feel the same way. Maybe your mistake was that you were just too busy dealing with your abusive husband, and if you didn't do anything about it in all those years, that shows you had a lot of internal problems yourself. If it took you 25 years to find out you are worth something, that shows you need to find a way to be more objective with what goes on arround you.

You did what you could, and you did the best you could but that seems to be it was not enough for your children and if they have resentments about it, its something you have to accept as true. To not acknowledge this will only make there resentment grow more.

You should understad that not dealing with the abusive dad, brought a lot of pain and damage to them and that's why they resent you and that's why you feel they hate you.

You should try to work on your person with the help of qualified persons. If you can't understand why your children feel the way they do, it means you are not open to understanding. I'm sure its very difficult to you to cope with the feeling that your children hate you, but try to see they have some reason behind it all. If they are not able to express this to you in a positive way, its must be because they haven't learned how to do this, because they never saw this at home, and because they built it up throughout the years on not being able to count on you.

What was wrong was wrong and you can't do anything about the past. You can only try to understand and continue working on yourself and trying to be open minded when it comes to your children's attitude towards you. They have a life going for them, and they are trying to do their best to be happy.

They might not respond well, but even so, tell them you are sorry you didn't do better when they most needed it.

The daughter or son who accused you of child molestation is concerning. Something must have happened there. If you are not guilty someone else is, and if not it is a sign that its a reflection of some damage received in their life.

If you tell us more about what state or city you live in, you can get answers on where and how to get help to continue on with your life get referrals for help for situations like yours. Do you go to a support group, are you getting any personal help in anyway? Have you left your abusive husband? The more information you provide the more help you can get.

Eventhough you have made mistakes in your life and even though you might not have bee the mother your children needed you to be, you deserve to look for a way to improve your life and be happy, and it seems you do want that. You can still find help and learn how to deal with the issues you have with your children and how to find a way mend all the wrong done.

THANK YOU SO!... THE truth often hurts...

I have asked my family.. My friends... WHY... And they all blame my kids... BUT like you say... THREE... 1 maybe... But ALL THREE.. THE problem MUST be ME!

I am not sure what I did... They all had food, clothes, their own rooms.. And bathrooms... I have a big house... Cars... Money... Etc...

I did the PTA... The Boy Scouts... (my husband was too lazy).. I did screw up on the speed car... It got late... We built it... But the next day I had to work late and painted it HOT PINK... I thought.. Well.. It is the NEW color... WRONG!

OUTside of always giving my kids great Christmas's, really well planned out birthday parties... NOT to forget the time at the beach when I spend hours burying a treasure chest with an X markes the spot.. It was so fun watching the kids follow my MAP..

I always decorated my home for every occasion... And event... I even always insisted on making the Halloween costumes... MUCH better than store bought... "lazy way out"

I probably was TOO open about sex... Coming from my sister getting pregnant at 16 and having a lot of years of misery...

I will admit this... I placed condums in my son's bathroom drawers when they became what I considered "active"... I placed several... And talked to them about it... And invited them to share with friends.. WAS THAT WRONG?

I did not encourage sex... We had a lot of talks about that... And they knew where I was coming from... I explained that anyone can have SEX... But it can really mean something if you wait until you LOVE someone... Then... And ONLY then will it feel RIGHT!

I also was very hard on my kids about prejudice... I am white... (well... I look at my skin... And I don't see White.... Some type of yellow... With a numerous amount of brown spots lately... I think this is age... Probably goes with these stupid gray hairs I have...

My husband was no help with my kids... The first time I left my first son alone with him for 4 hours to take my Real Estate test... I came home to find my son in the bathtub... NO water... Thank GOd... But he had a dirty diaper... MY husband did not do Diapers... And My son had removed his diaper.. And at 14 months... Was having a blast playing in his S IT! BUT I made it clear to my kids that skin is not what makes a person... It is THE PERSON... I wish we could all just be Purple... That is my favorite color@!

The only abuse, I know of, with my daughter occurred vai my husband's mother which happened the first time I left my daughter with her for a weekend... (Actually this was the first time I ever left any of my kids overnight... With anyone... I was a bit protective... And a stay... At ... Home... MOM...

Neil 9, Chad 8, her 14 months old...

When I got to my mother-in=laws home... My daughter was in tears... She was 14 months... In the new Potty Pull Ups... She had a bout of diaraha>>> you know... Anyway... My mother=in=law... Had just had new carpet put in.. And my daughter did not make it to the toilet... And soiled her carpet...

When I got there... Lara in tears.. I found out that my Mother-in=law had taken her finger and dipped it into Lara's poop... Placed it on her nose... And placed her in a chair... She was made to sit there... HELLO... My daughter is not a DOG!

I was so pissed!

OH... And before you judge me too much... I am not complaining... I love your honest feedback... You are saying just what I think...

AND you are right..

BUT... In my defense for costing my kids their DAD... HE beat me many times... 3 times I ended up in the hospital... I have had several veneral diseases due to his need for whores... He justified it by telling me that he needed a 10 and I was just about a 7 or 8.

I have had women call my home truly scared..wondering why he is following them... And approching them... How did they get my home number... They went to great extents... They were that scared of him... And tracked his liscence number..

I will admit... I only tracked down 2 of them... And if I am a 7 or 8... These gals were a 4 or 5... I wonder why!?


I agree with you... Unlike anyone that Really knows me... You and I agree... 3 out of 3... IT MUST BE ME!

I have watched all the family video tapes... I have reviewed it all in my mind... Trying to find out what I did wrong... I can't find it...

I an not JUNE CLEAVER.. But... I was pretty darn close...

In the later years of my first marriage... I did WORK too much... I had to take on a 2nd job to make ends meet... I had a typing job.. On the computer... TO which my husband hated... Evidently I type too loud... And bothered him when trying to watch Johnny Carson... I got cused out a lot for this... I have since learned to type almost silently...

PS... I gave natural childbirth to all my kids... I breast-fed all my kids... I did science project... Extra projects... Book reports... And every night... As I cooked dinner... My kids sat at the dining table doing homework... And I drilled them on their tests... I guess that is why I have one son that is a DR... And one daughter that is a Vet Tech... And I also have a Chad... I don't know what he is professionally... BUT.. I do know what he is as a person... HE was always loved by many... He had more friends than anyone... HE was loved by many... PLUS me... HE might not have been given the gift of intelligence that my other kids got... BUT.. He excelled in personality...

On a desserted island... Who would I want with me... Not a Dr.. Not a VET... My son CHAD... He could figure out anything... And if he could not figure it out... He could make me LAUGH!

I miss him so much...

I miss all my kids...

You are right... IT is my fault... And this makes me sad..

I have attempted suicide so many times... And ended it with the words of my family... IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT..

BUT YOU ARE RIGHT..

IT IS MY FAULT..

AND I DESERVE TO DIE

I am going to answer your questions as best as I can remember... I am new at this site.. And not quite sure how it works... BUT.. I truly appreciate the Honesty I am getting... I am hearing what I need to hear.. NOT what I want to hear... BUT WHAT I need to hear...

1) Contact with my 2nd son.. .CHAD... Here is what happened... I was alone... Divorced with 3 kids... 1 in college... I was stupid... I thought that when you filed for divorce that somehow the "Divorce gods".. Took over the money... WRONG... It is the first to the BANK... Which was my X=husband... HE cleaned me out... And since he was the name holder on all my credit cards... They were all canceled... It took me a while to get a foothold... I had a son in college... And bills... My son needed money for books... I just got wiped out... And my x husband explained to me that he did not have to pay anything for Neil... As he was over 18... I struggled for a while... And ended up having to empty a saving account that I had set up... With my money... For Chad.. My 2nd son... When he found out... I explained to him... HEY... Go to your father... He owes this to you.. I had to use it to stay afloat.. While he was laughing... HE did not care about his kids... HE want to HURT ME!

The last night I remember my 2nd son CHAD... Being in my home... Well.. I had a really stressful job... We were doing a move... Let me back up... I worked for the largest Law Firm in Texas... And we were moving 6 downtown floors... Appx. 2000 computers... And phones... Text lines... Printers lnes... Etc... We did one floor a week... And as we started at 5PM on Friday... We worked 24-7 until Monday morning... Sometimes in the same clothes..

On our last move... We thought we had it down pat... We planned a party... I knew it would not happen... But I went along with it... We were supposed to finish out early... And go to my boss's home for a pool party... RIGHT... I packed my swim suite... JUST in case..

I ended up coming home at 5AM in literally holding my eyelids open on the road to make it home...

The next morning... My Xhusband made a production of showing my kids my brief case... And saying... YEAH... Your mother was at work... That is why there is a Swim Suite in her brief case... How do I get out of this one... You would think that the triple paycheck would prove it...

The next move... I could not make it home... My company gave us hotel rooms to stay in for the night... Everyone else took advantage of this every time... Like a perk... BUT no... NOT me... I was the one that always went home..

BUT... This last move... Killed me... I stayed overnight in a room with 4 other WOMEN...

WHen I got home... My husband was gone... My son Chad was gone... And my Doll Collection was gone...

All of my underwear, bras... (I must admit.. It was a passion of mine... I had matching sets of everything... Bought cheap on my business trips to Boston... Faylens Basement.)
All had been cut to shreds... All my jewelry... Not a lot... Had been pounded into mounds and placed on my pillow... All my glass figures... Busted up and in the sink of my kitchen...

All because I worked TOO LATE... I was making $35.00 an hour with overtime... And thought I was doing great for my family...

Confidence... Who did I end up here... I was a Real Estate Salesman... I worked for my in=laws... And my Mother=in=law... Not only wanted me to be the best sales person... Which involved MANY hours... Seven days a week... She also drilled me on WHAT are you feeding your kids for dinner...

AND I cooked every night... Meat... 2 veggies... And always Rolls.. My kids loved rolls and butter... I did not always have time to eat the meal with them... BUT the dishes were always there later for ME to clean up..

Did I mention that my x husband did not Babysit.. He also did not do dishes... Or take out the trash... Or housework... Or yardwork... I DID IT ALL!

As far as my assault charges...

Here goes...

I divorced... And my daughter was happy...

Let me tell you what was the straw that broke the camels back... IS THAT RIGHT..!

My daughter was 7... I came home late... And picked up Fried Chicken...

My X wanted to watch football... So he stayed at the Breakfast table... Lara and I watched Little Mermaid.. For the thousand's time... BUT I love it...

Anyway... She ate her first piece of Chicken... And then she started on her 2nd... And OF course... She ate the skin... CRIPY... Part first.. And was full..

I told her "go put the rest back in the bucket".. She said... "NO...daddy will get mad"... I said if he gets mad.. Tell him it is mine...

She put it back... And he hollered at her.. Just like he hollered at me... And he called her a ... Just like he always called me... And his mother...

I was so scared that my kids first words would me ing ... Instead of mommie... Because that is what I was called..

ANYWAY... It hit me... I am allowing her to ALLOW this... I am teaching her that this is OK treatment..NO... NO... NO... I have a great job..I can pay my bills...

I have people at work that think I hung the moon...

I AM SOMETHING>>> I AM SOMEONE>>> AND MY DAUGHTER does not deserve this!

I filed the next day..

Sorry I am of subject..

Child abuse..

Lara loved my first husband at first.. THEN he moved in... And saw how I was spoiling her.. He took it slow.. .but he insisted that she clean her room and help with the dishes...

SHE refused...

She had been sleeping with me for 2 years (my single life) just me and her... IT was great...

BUT now she had to go to her own bed...

She got a boyfriend...

They had a lot of fights... ONE night I was up untiil 1AM due to this... And the next day... It was over for her and she wanted to go to a hockey game with him... I said NO...

Take a break...call a girlfriend... Go to the mall... You and Brad need to take a breathe...

He came anyway... She waited until I was in the tub... And tried to leave..

My new husband came in the bathroom and said... "I thought you told her she could not go with Brad"

I said... RIGHT...

I went to the door... I stopped her...

I went back to the bathroom and saw her going around the side of the house...

I went out front and stopped her... She attacked me... My husband had to physically hold her... As she was cussing and hitting at me...

AND.. I DID SLAP her... I did not plan it..but when you see your daughter striking you in the face... Calling you names... It just happens..

She went in the house and called the police... Child Abuse.. They figured it out... And left.

2nd time... Long story.. Same thing... She called the police on me

3rd time... New cops... She called the police on me when I tried to call her home... Long story short... I was the one with the bloody nose and black eye... Her NOTHING.. BECAUSE I did not touch her..

BUT I WENT TO JAIL... I LIVE IN DUNCANVILLE TEXAS... AND I WISH I HAD HAD the money to sue the out of them>>

JUDGE LAUGHED AT HER...

HERE is why...

HERE was her story... My mother held me down with her hands... Using her fingernails to try cut into my veins... And at the SAME time... Using her hands to bang my head against the tile floor... WELL...number 1... This happened in my neighbors home... WHO saw everything... And was the only witness I needed... BUT... Number 2... Why was the Judge laughing... Let's see... Simple math... I have 2 hands RIGHT...! I am using two of them to hold her arms... And concentrating on her veins with my great fingernails... And I am also using my "Excuse ME... What other 2 arms/hands... To bang her head on the floor"//

AND mind you.. My daughter if beautiful... Blonde... Blue eyed... And crying through the whole story...

SORRY JUDGE DID NOT BUY IT...

HE did look at me... And saw that I only had 2 arms... My neighbor took the stand and told her story... About how my Daughter BEAT me...

This whole thing cost me $5,000

AM I A GOOD MOM OR WHAT@

Sometimes you're damned if you do, and damned if you don't.

With what you had to do to survive, and come out the other end independent and strong, your children are still making their way with one foot in the past.

That is not unusual for children involved and living with an abusive father, especially when he helped spur their alliance to him, by blaming you for everything. To destroy your personal things, and accuse you of not being honest about your whereabouts is a tactic that unfortunately undermines not only the truth, but the person herself-you.

While he covered up his life, and his non-contribution to their upbringing, and encouraged them to think you were the cause of all that was wrong in the house, really gave them a green light to treat you with disrespect, hate, and uncalled for actions toward you.

He did a number on them. Abusers are very adept at manipulating the truth, particularly with children, and if I recall, your kids were barely 20 when you got a divorce, and much of the damage had already been done before they left.

A friend of mine is going through this now. She provides all that you said you have done, and every other weekend her two girls go to their father's. They ask him for things like school supplies, or money for a school trip, and he says that's what he pays their mother for. The truth is, he is in arrears of over 4200.00 and her phone was just cut off. But, because it was their FATHER saying that their mother should be spending HIS money better, they blame her. She is always in the position to explain that he hasn't paid. All they know is they aren't getting what they want or need, and it MUST be her fault.

Maybe because you were working so hard, you lost yourself somewhere in trying to keep the marriage together, keep the job to pay the bills, and balance three children all at the same time.

Children also learn early how to carry on controlling people to get what they want, even if it is revenge for not being allowed out with their boyfriend. Mine did the same with me, reported me, I did the CPS thing (CAS here in Canada), and it was all unfounded, BUT, this was just another tool to use to get her own way. (the boyfriend incidentally was a heroin user).

As to June Cleaver, I think her husband was a cross-dresser.

It may be time to take care of yourself now, and learn to live with the past is still working itself out in each of your children's lives. It may take years for them to come around, and realize that they too need to work out how their lives were affected during their growing years, in an abusive household.

If all that you said you've done included a happy marriage, you would not be in this position right now. Could you have seen what could have been happening? Probably not. Could you have prevented or changed your husband's behaviour? Probably not. The past was lived, and there were unforseen consequences on the horizon.

This is what you are living now. Even after surviving what you did, and providing all that you could, until they are ready to accept the past as the past, and come to terms with the truth of their lives, they won't be ready to reconcile.

I really hope you get counselling. It would be very helpful for you to learn to let go of some of the guilt that is eating you up, and learn how to accept what you cannot change in your children.

Like anybody else, if you can honestly say that you've done the best you can by your children, at the time they were growing up, then you have to learn to forgive yourself for the the mistakes that we ALL make, and learn to live your life without living in this emotional hell.

So... I just keep going through this HELL... Wishing for Death... Is there anything worse than your own KIDS hating you!>1@@

NO... NO... NO...

As a child... You play with dolls... You grow up wanting to be a parent... You read everything you can get your hands on.. And yet... That day... THAT day that they hand you this beautiful bundle... You are so scared... So unaware... So unprepared...

AND you try so hard... To do everything right... The first one... You are at the Dr's office weekly... The second, you are a bit more relaxed.. The third... You learn to trust your own instincts...

No one wants to be a bad mother... We all TRY... I did... I did the best I could do... And NOW I get this... WHY... WHY... WHY..

I go to bed every night hoping that I will not wake up... AND... Every morning.. Here comes the sun... And I say.. Damn...

Another day of pain... Another day of wondering What did I do to deserve this!

I really don't want to be here anymore...

BUT... I have tried many times... And failed... Please tell me... How do I do it... Fast... Easy.. I don't care about pain... HELL... I can handle PAIN.. I do it every second of every minuite of ever hour of ever day...

THEY SHOOT HORSES DON'T THEY

Rosy, you have to get a grip here and think about this.

No matter how you have raised your children, or how anybody has raised their children, there are no guarantees that they aren't going to grow up to be the opposite of what you thought they would be.

I think we're pretty clear on how your children are, at least to you, and what are some of the things that have resulted in what you are dealing with today. You should also have a pretty good idea that if things are to be mended, it will have to at least be party under their initiative and with some cooperation.

You have options here. You can keep spinning out of control emotionally, or you can face facts, as hard as they are, and help yourself. There are ways to stop the pain, and at least control the pain through understanding, and a change in thinking.

The lives of all concerned you have chosen to put on your shoulders, and it doesn't have to be that way. You don't know what they think, you don't know what they will do, you don't have any idea what the future holds.

Why do you want to live your life with this misery, which is what you are doing.

I'm not saying this to undermine your true, legitimate feelings, nor to minimize what position you are in now after your last post. If you were my best friend, sitting right next to me crying in your coffee, I'd be saying the same thing.

You need to get help. You need to see a professional counsellor to help you take back some independence, control, and direction in your own life. It is the only life you have at the moment that you can control.

Brief Therapy is something I would recommend for you. It is immediate, hands-on, concrete, no nonsense planning, to help you find and maintain solid footing, while at the same time, planning steps to cope and deal with what you are going through now.

The path you have taken has brought you here. Now there is a fork in the road. You must make a decision that nobody else can make for you. Take the path to regaining a healthy happy life, or take the path that keeps you in a place where you don't want to wake up in the morning.

I'm not coddling you here, I'm dead serious. Whatever else is going on in your life that I cannot pinpoint, is keeping you where you are.

Please make a commitment to book an appointment with a counsellor. They are paid to listen without judging, and come up with a workable plan.

I hope that you do something to help yourself, and that sooner, rather than later, you will stop in with some good news of what you have done to make your life better.