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well i was caught listening to my 14 year olds conversation with her boyfriend she has had some sexual talk with him and she really doesn't understand what this makes her sound like. she is still a virgin but trys to act like she is miss hot stuff.Iv'e told her she shouldn't talk like that because boys get the wrong impression of you.She still does it. my husband says she is to young to have a boyfriend ,maybe so but she seems so down if she doesn't talk to him. I feel bad listening but i can't help but worry about her and the things they talk about.him masterbating and her telling him to do it. i was young once and i would never have talked like that .Should i let her have her privacy?
I think you should let her have her privacy. I can tell you what my aunt did with my cousin (who is now 17).
She told her that boys will say or do anything to have sex or have any sexual interaction with a girl. They may say they love you but what they really love is having an orgasm. She told her that men have semen in their penis and when it comes out it feels really, really good it feels so good that they will do anything to have a girl present when it happens. She told her that there are repercussions to any and all actions in this world and that she hopes that she uses her head and waits to have sex but she can't always be with her and she hopes that she will make the right choices for her future. My aunt also told her that sex is something really special and that hey body is hers and that no one should ever try to get her to do anything that she doesn't want to do.
It might help. It worked with my cousin she's 17 still a virgin and doesn't do more then kiss her boyfriends.
This is a fine line. If you feel you need to intercede, then do it. Keep in mind that often teenagers are boastful and tend to exaggerate quite a bit. But I'm sure you know what that can eventually lead to. If they exaggerate too much, too long, then eventually it becomes so that it's not exaggeration any more. And it is also important that your daughter realize what that kind of talk makes her sound like. Even though she may be just bragging, and in her own mind she knows it, she still needs to be aware what kind of impression that gives to others. Teenagers often don't understand that there is a difference between the impression they intend to convey and the impression they actually convey.
can i tell you an issue i had growing up?
My grandmother raised me and was a great role model.
When I was 15 she caught me sneaking out of the house and yes i was gonna see a boy but when she caught me she took away alot of my privliages that i took for granted, like i lost my room i had to sleep with her and wasent aloud to talk on the phone when i was alone this went on for a few weeks until i earned some of her trust back and honestly at the time i thought it was so terrable but now when i look back she couldnt have been more right if i hadnt got caught what would have happened?
I would have met the boy probely did something that i would regret and get either pregnant or a bad name for myself.
The point here being sometimes it takes tough love she will understand one day and respect herself more.
Knowing what I do about your situation, I am guessing that she is trying to get attention. You need to take the phone out of her room if it is in there. Phone conversations should only been in a public place.
It is almost certain that your son is getting all of the attention and she is craving some kind of attention at this point. Kids don't care what kind of attention they get, good or bad, as long as someone notices them.
Time to lay down the law and be consistent with her.
Phone would be gone! Boyfriend would be too. She is too young to be talking about sex, she needs to be thinking about grades, hair, make up, movies, dancing, not having sex. I don't care how sad she acted over this boy. She would not talk to him. I think people let their kids grow up to fast. My daughter does age appropriate things and that does not include talking to boys about sex.
Imxinxonxiot You can be a tough and loving at the same time. You will have to put up with her being angry at you. But believ me she will get over it! Do not try to be her friend be her mother for now.
I also want to say that I think that society is different for your 14 year old then when your 23 year old was 14. I'm 28 and I didn't have a boyfriend at 14, none of my girlfriends did. And if anyone did they certainly did talk dirty to their boyfriends they went to the movies, hung out at the mall, I don't get where this big sexual boom has come from.
bushg is right. When you give tough love your daughter will hate you and say terrible things but it only lasts for so long and when she gets older she'll thank you for it.
I know I have to be her mom but I have so much going on right now I can't stand to see her unhappy to. But she will be unhappy if she gets dumped,gets pregnant,or has an std . I guess she is better off being unhappy now. thanks
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