Troubled son

Slither · #1 Feb 23, 2007, 07:00 AM

Hi .. Im new here and just seeking advice, from anybody that can offer it.
I have an 18 year old son thats been in trouble most of his life. I have sent him to just about every place I can possibly think of to help him. Some of those places the authorities placed him in. They diagnosed him with ADHD, bi-polar, skitsophrenia (sp). you name it they diagnosed him with it. None of the drugs they prescribed helped him. He can become very violent... hates the word no... punches walls, people... hateful things come out of his mouth.. etc. He finally was released from the last place he was in... and came home. He wasnt home 24 hours and threw a fit saying he couldnt bear it here and wanted to leave and go to his friends in another state. The state isnt too far so we drove him there. Within 48 hours we get a call from the cops sayig we abandoned our 171/2 year old son. Needless to say.. WE got in trouble for that. So we went thru all that. brought him home again... and he started hanging around a bad crowd... he was on drugs and got in a huge fight with his brother... where the cops were called. They arrested him, then we found out he had another charge on him for catching a truck on fire,here in town. He spent 7 months in jail for that. He comes home again....... first couple of days are great! Then. it starts all over. His attitude is back.. he started hnging around another girl that we told him we disapprove of... we told him h needs to get out if he cant go by the rules... etc. Problem is.. hes burned all his bridges and has nowhere to go. There arent any shelters around hee for him to go to.. SO IM LOST! Idont wanna kick him out with nowhere to go and hes on the street.. but I also have 2 other children who are suffering because of his attitude and all we can go by is the past.... pretty much like a ticking time bomb around here.
We've tried talking to him about the military.. but since he has spent his life screwing up... he hasnt finished school.. only went thru the 10th grade.. and is now 18. We have offered to help him get his G.E.D but he refuses saying no he wants his H.S. diploma. He also wants the marines.. I think because the H.S. diploma is th ONLY thing they will accept. whereas the Army will accept a G.E.D.
Im just lost.. I mean.. we have taken the phone away. where we have to carry it with us at all times.. coz he call long distance constantly... we have taken the pc away.. and locked him out.. because he started putting satanic pics on his myspace andtalking to girls we said no about.. so now? altho we have made this rule.. he just goes to the library and talks to them.... I dont know what to do here

Teaching · Feb 24, 2007, 07:48 AM

Sounds like he needs your love and affection. I believe this would take a lot of time and patience, however if there is a way to make him do community service he may change. He seems very angry at the world. Sometimes children get labeled it is very tough growing up. I would definitely seek professional advice. He needs someone like a mentor in his life - things would really change for him.

Slither · Feb 24, 2007, 10:42 AM

Thanks..
We've sent him to see many many therapist/psychiatrist. Each one says he has something different.. gives him different meds.. and again, nothing works. We live in a small town and there is nothing like community service around here. I wish there was. I wish he could have a buddy that was a good influence on him... but so far he seems to attract the ones opposite of that. Hes a very good kid when he wants to be. It goes in extremes. Hes either the best kid youve ever seen.. or the worst. Hes already spoken to the military and they will accept him but he has to get a G.E.D. which he wont do. He wants to go back to H.S. which isnt reality. I dont think they will accept him at this age.. due to him being a liability. If there was some sort of night school.. I would try that for him.
We had a long talk with him the other night.. and told him he had to start respecting not only us (his parents) but everybody in the house. We give him respect and ask for it in return. We told him if he could not do this he would have to make other arrangements for somewhere to live. So far? Its worked!! Hes been very respectful.. and has a positive attitude. ( Sometimes I just wanna bottle these times up!!)
We have given him as much love and understanding and everything else we can think of.. all of his life.. and we will never stop.. I just wanna find a way to help him find that right path.. so that its easier on him when he does face this world on his own. Thats our whole purpose, isnt it? To love our children and teach them the right way to be so when they get out on their own.. they have a fighting chance. Thats all I want for my kids. Im not asking for miracles.... just a son thats happy and content.. and makes wise decisions.

Teaching · Feb 24, 2007, 10:55 AM

I will say a special prayer for him and for you. Something will come your way, don't worry.



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