Hey i got a problem with my niece she's a year and 2 months old,she get a tempers and fets at sleeping time and she kicks everything around and she's REALLY stubborn and her mother is pregnant in her last month and the kid want her mother to carry her around what should she do?? Cause my sister is really tired she got to the point that she hits her daughter!!

and how can she deal with this kid and the new born??

kp2171

my son (now almost 3) was very different from my daughter (now 20).

while she was deliberate in her actions, and generally faster in many developmental skills (walking, playing by herself, potty training), my son is in many ways different. he learned to walk later, play by himself later, still is not potty trained (though working in that direction) and generally a lot more work.

i can tell you that the more independent the older child gets, the easier it will be. with my son, there was a big difference between 1, 1.5, and 2. the best you can do is try to make sure there is help for her. the husband needs to do his share. and the family should try their best, especially after the child is born (you ARE obviously trying to help, as indicated by your posting here). my wife nearly bled to death a few days after her daughter was born. the delivery was far from perfect, but like many single mothers, she didnt get the rest she needed after the delivery and tried to do too much. it nearly cost her her life. this is an extreme example, but one worth knowing. your sister is going to need some support.

and hitting a one year old isnt going to help anything. the child is beginning to recognize language and patterns and understands how to manipulate others better, but she is not a little adult. my cousins daughter, at almost 3 also, still has some of the behaviour that you desribe in your neice. if she isnt in control, she sometimes goes nuclear. it isnt pretty. shell grow out of it with patience and, she too, is better now that she has better developed skills.

but your sisters child is nowhere near the stage in which she can just suddenly modify her behaviour. it is likely she will behave after the birth as she did before, and then theres the jealousy that can make it worse.

i think there are a lot of ways to disclipline a child within reason. but hitting a naughty one year old out of frustration, in my mind, isnt one of them. she knows she is frustrated. hit her and what does that teach a little one at such a young age? a one year old isnt going to get it.

is the little one at home with the mother? does she get any structured play time with the mother? with my son, we found that if you try to work around him he might fuss and gripe most of the day. if, however, you take 20-30 minutes a few times a day to focus solely on the child, then the child will go for longer periods willing to play alone.

again, my son is now older, and more able to manipulate things and do tasks... and this also makes him less frustrated. but little skills can lead to independent play time. get the child involved in doing little tasks like sorting through cards of different colors or shapes. things like that.

its going to be a tough stretch, but the more the little one can be taught skills to keep herself busy with good play projects, the easier it will be for mom. the problem is the one year old is still pretty little and it will likely be some time before shes more independent.

Amber22

Well yea she's with her mother most of the time cause her husband comes home late from work and yes she get her play time with her mother so she's a little bit spoiled but she's not use to be around people much so i think thats one of the reasons you know but anyways thank you very much

Jen8446

When baby's are that small you can change their habits fairly quickly. When my son was born, everyone always held him, so he never wanted to be put down. All she has to do is ignore his fits and just put him in bed. The tantrum should stop in 5-10 min and after a week or so, they'll stop totally. It's hard to ignore them when they're crying, but she has to or else it won't change. He'll stop his tantrums when he's sees no one is reacting to them anymore. Trust me, I had the same problem!

ashleysb

I personally wouldn't recommend letting the child throw their temper tantrums until they fall asleep. This will only lead to the child not wanting to ever fall asleep on their own, because I personally think babies should never be left crying. This is a critical time for them to learn love and trust, after all a one year old cannot deal with their own problems. I think this baby needs a strict bedtime routine and lots of down time. About an hour before bed time try to do as much low stimulating things as possible such as reading or looking at books with mom and dad. This means nothing that will get them too excited or hyper. Also make sure every night the bedtime routine is the exact same, for example, bath, books, then bed. This way the baby will always know exactly what is to come next. The first couple of weeks may mean that a parent will have to pat or rub the baby's back to lull her to sleep, then gradually do it less and less until she can fall asleep on their own.

Amber22

Thank you very much my sister gave bith and now her one year old daughter get jelouse of her baby sister she hits her and kick her but thank you for all of your answers

dbek

ignore her tantrums, unless she is hurting or ruining something. She wants attention and she knows that she will get if she does it. Start a place for her to go do timeout (usually 1 minute for every age). If she gets up make her go back there. Keep doing this-she will learn that her tantrums won't work. But don't give into them even if your exhausted.