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Ok, my oldest son is 3 and lately when he doesnt get his way he says he hates me. He doesnt say it to his dad, uncle, aunt, grandma...just me. My husband and my brother put him in the corner when they hear him say it, but I dont do anything because honestly I dont know what to do.
ALL kids hate their parents at some point in time. Not really, they just think they do.
Try and explain to him what the word HATE means, and how much it hurts your feelings. Tell him it's a bad word and not to be said just as any curse word.
I think the corner is a good idea, or perhaps privilege deprivation.
The corner honestly doesnt work, and neither does taking things away like his toys.
He has a bad temper. When he doesnt get his way, along with saying he hates me, he smacks himself in the face (like he thinks that hurts me or something).
He has thrown such terrible screaming tantrums lately that he lost like half of his voice. He sounds like he has Laryngitis (sp?).
I don't necessarily disagree with CM, but I do have a different approach.
When he say's I hate you and you put him in time out you are giving him attention. Sometimes any attention is good attention, even if it isn't positive.
My son went through an "I hate you" stage, at first I gave him time outs and I also told him how much it hurt my feelings, it was like giving him a key to the city, he started saying it even more.
One day I decided to take a different route. When he said "I hate you" I said "that's to bad, because I still love you." and then left the room. He tried again and I repeated the same line, and then would go off to do something else. I acted as if his words had no effect on me. It wasn't instant but the frequency with which he said it quickly diminished and he stopped altogether within a week.
I don't know if it will work for you, but it's worth a try.
Just wondering where he would learn this because then you could come up with an answer on how he learned this behaviour. Also come up with a solution on how to get him out of the influence of what may be causing this behaviour. I agree with others that different approaches are needed on dealing with this.
Thanks Alty i'll try that! When he says it to me I dont even say anything because honestly it shocks me. I didnt think i'd have to go through the "i hate you" phase until the teenage years.
I don't necessarily disagree with CM, but I do have a different approach.
When he say's I hate you and you put him in time out you are giving him attention. Sometimes any attention is good attention, even if it isn't positive.
My son went through an "I hate you" stage, at first I gave him time outs and I also told him how much it hurt my feelings, it was like giving him a key to the city, he started saying it even more.
One day I decided to take a different route. When he said "I hate you" I said "that's to bad, because I still love you." and then left the room. He tried again and I repeated the same line, and then would go off to do something else. I acted as if his words had no effect on me. It wasn't instant but the frequency with which he said it quickly diminished and he stopped altogether within a week.
I don't know if it will work for you, but it's worth a try.
Good Luck.
Strike mine, use Altenweg's approach. She's the Momma and has been through this. My only baby (chihuahua) can't talk....so. This sounds like a great approach.
I can't give alty a greenie but my middle son responded to the same tatics that she used with hers. He gave it up when he did not get a reaction from me.
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