| My son hasn't spoken to me in almost a year
My son is 24 years old. I have always been there for him. His father and I split when he was 12 and his sister 17. I raised them pretty much on my own before then anyway- my ex was a mechanic who would rather find any excuse than be home with his family. He used to stay late at work doing side jobs, then just stay there hanging out with his work buddies. My ex and I split in 1996, and I moved in with a co-worker, and not long after met my now husband. We also worked together. My son went back and forth between me and his father for a while, and finally settled down with me and my husband. Last fall my son decided he wanted to do the hippie thing and go out west. He fell in love with a girl. She had just gotten out of a relationship,and she and my son had kept in touch for about a year. I told him he should save his $$ and then go, but he was adamant and would not listen. Her father gave them a truck, and off they went- Colorado- she had a cousin there, so they would get jobs. That did not work out, so they went to California, and Arizona. They got jobs there and they loved it. I talked to him every single day. When their truck blew a tire, and they did not know what to do, I paid for 2 new tires over the phone. Then my son's front tooth broke- I told him if he were here, I could try to help him out with getting his tooth fixed (he needed a lot of dental work- he was having a little done at a time before he left)- I found out it would cost me $1200 up front, which I don't have. He came back, and then got mad at me- because he said I lied. That all leads up to last year- 4th of July weekend. It started out to be a good day- we were listening to old Dylan and talking- he was making some jello shots to sell at a festival- but then he started drinking them- they were strong. I told him he was getting carried away and needed to stop. Next thing I knew, my daughter got mad at him saying he had eaten all her lunch meat (did I mention he and his girlfriend were now living in my basement, and only she was working?- when they got back he was rearended by a woman in front of our house, and the truck- their house they had been living it out west- was totalled)- he had no way to get to work. The whole 4th of July turned nasty- my son started listening to his music- loudly- and when asked to turn it down, got louder- and started singing loudly. He came upstairs (they were living in the basement) and he and my husband argued. My son pushed me. He then went downstairs and called the cops- he said it was because he was afraid someone would get hurt. My son pushed me, and when the cops got there they arrested him. My daughter and I tried to straighten out the mess, but to no avail. My son and his girlfriend moved in with her father for a time. The only contact my son had after that with me was to tell me what a bad mother I am- he dropped out of school and 15, and he blamed me (how do you get someone there who is 2x your size- carry them)? I tried everything, I met with the probation officer, the principal- all to no avail. I don't know where he has gotten the memories of his childhood, but he blames me for EVERYTHING- none of what he says is true, but he won't talk to me to let me set the record straight. My grandson (my first) was born a month ago, and I have never seen him. If not for myspace, I would not even know what he looks like. I went to where my son works at Christmas and gave him a card with $50 (they really need the money, and I thought maybe that would be the beginning of mending fences) but all that happened was he got mad (he was working at Chili's, and it was very busy.)- I don't know what to do- he won't talk to me, answer my e-mails, nothing- it's all I think about- all day- not fair to my family, but my heart is broken- what do I do?
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