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    rexero2007's Avatar
    rexero2007 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Mar 15, 2007, 07:56 PM
    Signing away my rights?
    I am an 18 yr old male in Michigan . I got my ex girlfriend pregnant right before we broke up. She refuses to get an abortion because she really hates me and wants to do this as revenge in her own words she wants to "take me for every dollar i have" . I have offered to pay for an abortion and she even said she went and got one on her own only to find out months later that she still hasn't got one. My question is if I sign away my rights will I still have to pay child support for a child she is trying to use against me
    whiteladybug2002's Avatar
    whiteladybug2002 Posts: 235, Reputation: 36
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    #2

    Mar 15, 2007, 08:24 PM
    Don't be so quick to sign off this child quite yet! You may regret it! No, you will!

    I had a male friend in the same situation about 6yrs ago. He was 19 and she was 18. They only dated about 6 months and yep, she got pregnant! He insisted she get an abortion, but she refused. He hated the thought of paying child support and insisted he would never pay it. He told her he would fight for custody so she would have to pay. He hated her for every month of her pregnancy for choosing to have this child, but everything changed the day that little baby boy was born. When he looked through the nursery glass at the tiny precious baby boy that looked just like him, he cried! He ran to the store and bought his boy diapers, clothes, and a swing. He begged the girl to forgive him and pleaded for her to allow him in her life with the child. She did! They have been together ever since and now have their 2nd child together.

    I am not saying your situation is or will be the same, but you never know? God works in mysterious ways and I insure you, he does not want your ex to get an abortion!

    Children are such a huge reward in someone's life, you are very blessed, and child support is such a small price to pay for such a HUGE payback!

    She has chose to have this baby of yours, so PLEASE make the best of it!

    You can't sign away rights unless she has someone to adopt the child or someone else to claim paternity, but think hard before you make your decision! Wait till you see your baby's face to make your choice, because once it is done... there is no going back!

    Good Luck and God Loves You!
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #3

    Mar 15, 2007, 08:31 PM
    First she may not want an abortion on many other grounds also, and I am sickened at your total selfish nature to so quick kill a baby so you don't have to pay some money.

    But first you can't do anything till the baby is born. After the baby is born you can sign away your rights, ( right to visit, right to custody) but you can not sign away your child support obigations, heck if it was as easy as just signing it away, would any man be in prison today for not paying?

    So you need to stop having hate for her ( remember it was your desire for unprotected sex that helped make the baby)

    So if you dislike the women, first that means you need to pick better with the people you have sex with, but it also means you need to be resonsible for your acts. Helping to raise your child is one of them.
    s_cianci's Avatar
    s_cianci Posts: 5,472, Reputation: 760
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    #4

    Mar 16, 2007, 08:26 AM
    Yep. You're going to be forking out a heck of a lot of money over the next 18 years or more.
    vlee's Avatar
    vlee Posts: 454, Reputation: 109
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    #5

    Mar 16, 2007, 03:05 PM
    Let me see if I've got this straight... YOU chose to have unprotected casual sex with someone, YOU got her pregnant, and YOU don't want to pay child support, so YOUR solution is to kill YOUR unborn child and never speak to this woman again? YOU should have thought about the possible consequences of YOUR ACTIONS! My advice is, deal with it, and make the best out of what YOU'VE got, because it's not all about YOU anymore.
    Jessicaw's Avatar
    Jessicaw Posts: 10, Reputation: 2
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    #6

    Mar 26, 2007, 11:41 AM
    Wow! I really can't stand guys! My bet... she just really doesn't want an abortion, do you have any idea how hard that is on a pregnant woman? Her saying she is going to take you for everything you've got is more than like being said out of hurt and anger toward you. Me being left at 3 months pregnant.. I completely understand HER pain! Guys think abortion is a form of birth control and that is just sick. Ever think she is already thinking about the beating little heart growing inside of her as I type this to you. GROW UP
    Squiffy's Avatar
    Squiffy Posts: 499, Reputation: 84
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    #7

    Mar 26, 2007, 11:46 AM
    You can sign away your involvement in this child's life, but you will still have to pay for it.

    Next time you decide to sleep with someone maybe using a condom will stop another woman having the ability to 'take you for every dollar'.

    It takes two to make a baby, stop blaming her and start supporting your child, and the mother of your child.
    endlessecho's Avatar
    endlessecho Posts: 121, Reputation: 1
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    #8

    Mar 26, 2007, 01:34 PM
    Listen, if the is just having the baby to spite this guy, she doesn't deserve to reproduce. My boyfriend has a child with he's ex who is currently a little over 3 months old, and she has let him see their baby ONE time, despite he's best efforts to get along with her. This girl has physically attacted us both while she was 7 months pregnant, and has gone so far as to key my car! She even broke into he's hosue before he and I got our own place and stole a car seat that he bought for the baby, this was also still while she was pregnant.

    Now he and I have our own place and want to get married when we're both done with school (so in dec. or Jan.) and she's saying that she's never going to let him see their baby girl, and intends to take him for every single cent she can.

    Some of you need to stop feeling sorry for these girls because guess what, that girl had just as much premarital sex as he did, and is just as responsible as he is, and doing things like refusing to let the father see the child, doesn't mean you're supposed to look at her and say "Oh you poor girl, raiseing that baby all alone." when girls do things like that, you know that it really is a child, havinbg a child.

    It's not he's fault that the girl is a .
    Squiffy's Avatar
    Squiffy Posts: 499, Reputation: 84
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    #9

    Mar 26, 2007, 01:41 PM
    Firstly, the poster never said his girlfriend was going to stop him seeing the baby, he made it quite clear he doesn't want the baby to exist, but she wants to keep it.

    Its about time men started dealing with the possible repercussions of having sex instead of leaving it to the women alone to cope with, and if they don't do as the father says, start having a hissy fit!

    It takes two to make a baby, and no one has the right to tell a woman she must have an abortion. So what if she is saying she will take him to the cleaners? If he was a decent human being he would be offering child support and she wouldn't need to go through the courts to make him pay.

    If a man is a decent father he can get access to his child, that's what the court system is for. I have zero sympathy for any man who helps create a child and then asks the woman to abort that child because he doesn't want to be a dad. That decision needs to be made before the child in conceived.
    endlessecho's Avatar
    endlessecho Posts: 121, Reputation: 1
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    #10

    Mar 26, 2007, 02:06 PM
    And I have no sympothy for a girl who wants to spread her legs and then and moan about the reprecutions of such actions.

    Despite the fact the child grows and is born from the mother's body, it is still only 50% hers, and 50% his. So He has just as much right to want it aborted as she does to not want it.

    I'm not saying she should listen, but if she wants to have a child, and he doesn't, and she knows this, then she should stop her ing and raise the child all by her self.

    My mom was a teen mother and my dad was a druggie abuser and she never asked for a dime because she knew what she was getting her self into when she laid down in that bed, and was prepared to take care of it.

    I respect her more than any other person I know because of this. She never kept me from my father because even as a baby, she love ed me enough, and respected me enough to allow me to make up my own mind about him, rather than her implant ideas in me about him.

    Little girls need to grow up before they make babies.
    Squiffy's Avatar
    Squiffy Posts: 499, Reputation: 84
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    #11

    Mar 26, 2007, 02:12 PM
    She isn't the one moaning about the repercussions of her actions, she wants to have this baby and raise it, it is the father who doesn't. That makes her the decent one and not him. She is the one willing to live up to her reponsibilities as a creator of a child, while he is trying to worm his way out of it.

    As I have said before, the decision as to whether a child is born should be made BEFORE conception , not after. He has every right to ask to her to have an abortion, she has every right to tell him no. Why should she have to raise that child without financial assistance from the father because he is too immature to live up to his reponsibilities? Why should any woman have to go against her own moral beliefs and kill her child just because her so called partner decides now is not a good time for him?

    If HE didn't want to be a father, HE should have been taking care of that bit himself, and not relying on her to do it, same as if she didn't want a baby, she too could protect herself from that.
    Jessicaw's Avatar
    Jessicaw Posts: 10, Reputation: 2
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    #12

    Mar 27, 2007, 02:36 PM
    Endlesscho - Some girl who wants to spread her legs huh? How about the guy that had no problem jumping in between? You know in some states abortion isn't even an option? And if there is any guy who REALLY didn't want to get someone pregnant there are lots of things HE can do to prevent it. I know the girl can also, but it is her body to make that sort of decision. And by you saying little girls... heres the thing, I am 7 months pregnant, Im 24 years old and can very well support this baby on my own, but I don't think it is OK for a guy to just be able to flee from his EQUAL responsibility. As for your mother... I give her much respect also, but would she have really got any kind of support from a druggie anyway? So your situation may have been different.

    Another thing... what kind of a woman starts dating a man who has a girlfriend who is 7 months pregnant? That's the sick person in that situation... ever here of a homewrecker? Maybe you should grow up and find your own man?
    endlessecho's Avatar
    endlessecho Posts: 121, Reputation: 1
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    #13

    Mar 27, 2007, 03:56 PM
    When He got her pregnant, they weren't even together, it was a one night stand after they had been broken up for several months and when she got pregnant they tried to make things work, and SHE broke up with him. And she is just a little girl. She only turned 17 right before she had her. I'm not a sick person for dating. I was friends with him and things progressed, I was friends with her too and she can't make up her mind. One second she says she's fine with it, the next she throws a hissy fit.

    I'm not saying that she is the only one responsible. She's not. They both made a bad choice by sleeping together and creating a child when they weren't in a stable relationship. The thing is, my boyfriend has bought the baby everything he's ex has asked hium too and then some! He's begged and begged her to let him see the baby, and has done nothing but be civil and nice to her when talking and all she does is demand more and complain and still refuse to let him see he's baby. He's a full time student as am I and he's working 2 jobs and I am working 1 so that we can supoport ourselves and try and help her yet still, she treats him like crap and physically attacts us both, and does things like key my car.

    I'm not saying that you or anyone else can't raise a baby on your own. I'm saying you should be well prepared to because as great as my guy is despite what you or anyone else on here night think, some guys aren't. Some guys would head for the hills.

    I am shocked that you would think I'm sick for dating him while she was pregnant. It's not like he has freaking cancer just because he has a baby. She is the one who had sex with a guy while she was 7 months pregnant, not even her boyfriend (she doesn't have one of those) but a guy from work, and she paid for the motel room, just to have a one night stand.

    That's what's sick.

    Unlike some people, I don't feel sorry for girls who get pregnant and get left/choose to be single. Including you. I just wish that people like my guy's ex would stop using their baby as a pon to get their way and start actually being ga mother. She spends more time bad mouthing me to my boyfriend then she does discussing the baby. SO I have ever right to call her a little girl, and frankly, I think you're acting like one too.
    vlee's Avatar
    vlee Posts: 454, Reputation: 109
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    #14

    Mar 28, 2007, 12:20 AM
    Abortion is not the issue at hand here... (while I agree it is a worthwhile topic, sny) If two people CHOOSE to have SEX, the they are EQUALLY responsible for the consequences. Endless, while I realize you are trying to drum up support for your post about your boy toy's baby here, it AIN'T HAPPENING WITH ME. As far as I am concerned, you are an immature little girl trying to manipulate her boyfriend into giving up a baby that is his for her own benefit. When you add 10 years to your life experience you will KNOW I am RIGHT, even if you still don't like it.
    endlessecho's Avatar
    endlessecho Posts: 121, Reputation: 1
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    #15

    Mar 28, 2007, 04:57 AM
    Excuse me? I have never, EVER told my boyfriend that he should sign over he's rights, EVER. He has made up he's mind all on he's own. The only advise I have given him as to what he should do is to try and talk to her and be civil for the child's sake and if it doesn't work, talk to an attorny, but most of all, to talk to the Lord. I love and support my borfired in everything that he does rather I think it's right or wrong and in all honesty, in the situation I don't think there is a wrong for him to do.

    I'm not saying this girl should go get an abortion. No one can make her, but if you ask me, the guy has every right to ask her to. It's an abotion, and when you get pregnant out of wed-locke, you explore your actions.

    All I'm saying here is I hope that the girl he's dealing with isn't a crazy B*tch like my bf's ex.

    I'm intitled to say what I like to these guy, I'm sorry I'm not clone copying your thoughts and agreeing with you here, but I think most of you people are A-Holes who think every dad who doesn't straight up marry the girl who is pregnant is a "dead beat"

    And that's flat out STUPID.
    Megg's Avatar
    Megg Posts: 421, Reputation: 53
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    #16

    Mar 28, 2007, 10:31 AM
    How the frick is Endless doing wrong here? SHE is trying to support her boyfriend in all he's doing. Her boyfriend is lucky to have a women like her. She said he's doing all he can to see the kiddo, and to help but the stupid biotch isn't letting him. I agree, women need to stop being hormonal and trying to pin a guy in a relationship or w/e. So what, he got her pregnant, move on. If I got pregnant from my fiancé and he broke it off for some unknown reason, I'd make him pay child support and being the good man he is he would never the less. BUT I wouldn't try to get back at him for leaving me and making stupid desisons. Enless is just trying to make a point. You know what, if I knew you Enless, I think we'd be good pals. You the type of person I like. Nice and kind. You know what time of the day it is. Thanks for sharing your story. I'm sure its all going to work out as long as you stick with your boyfriend. As for Rex, good luck to you man. I know its tough, but you need to understand its her body and if she wants to be immiture then let her have an abortion. Sure you have to pay money but you ficked her. So uhhh deal man.
    vlee's Avatar
    vlee Posts: 454, Reputation: 109
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    #17

    Mar 28, 2007, 10:32 AM
    The problem I have with what you are saying is that you are making the OP's question about yourself, and your responses go on more about your problems than they do in addressing the OP's. You have a post for your question. You have no idea what the OP's pregnant ex is like, or why she is really keeping this baby. This is a young guy who is angry with his ex, and she is angry with him. People say a lot of things to be hurtful when they are mad at each other. Most people DO NOT take on a lifelong obligation just to spite the other person. It's that simple. There are much easier and simpler ways to hurt someone.
    Megg's Avatar
    Megg Posts: 421, Reputation: 53
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    #18

    Mar 28, 2007, 10:35 AM
    What does that have to do with anything. She was just sharing her story, a similar case. So what if it goes a bit off topic. Deal with it. Conversation's do that from time to time. If you have friend's you should know that. Less you sit at home and never talk to people lol.

    As long as it comes back to the main point its all good.
    kanicky73's Avatar
    kanicky73 Posts: 484, Reputation: 63
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    #19

    Mar 28, 2007, 10:40 AM
    Here's another option, unless someone already suggested it and I missed it in the other stories. Maybe he should start by having a paternity test after this baby is born. Then... go from there. His feelings may be totally different if number one, the baby is his and number two, after he sees the baby.
    Jessicaw's Avatar
    Jessicaw Posts: 10, Reputation: 2
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    #20

    Mar 28, 2007, 12:37 PM
    Ok nobody keeps a baby to be a biotch... what is wrong with you people? What happened to this world. A baby is a human life... I can't even be a part of this discussion anymore its wrong.

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