[Charm Bracelet]

Okay I'm abit depressed because there's this guy I know,and for a long time we've been friends.Not great friends by any means,but he's forever been friendly with me,and never gave me any reason to think he hated me.We chat occasionally,but in recent weeks he's been very withdrawn,and I haven't done anything to provoke it.I find myself attracted to him lately,whereas before,I didn't really have much interest in him,except as a friend,or acquaintance that I can have a laugh with,because he has a really great sense of humour.
I am not really comfortable around him anymore,and find it difficult to talk to him.I don't think he suspects I like him,but I can't figure out why he's just stopped talking to me.Could anyone help me with this? Other people have told me that he mightn't talk to me anymore,because I give him the cold shoulder,but I don't,I just get really shy and nervous now,when I am around him.I don't know what to do! The last time I spoke to him he was cold towards me,and real short.Please help.

[elrp2]

The best thing to do would be to confront him about this. Then he's put on the spot and can't make up an excuse. Even though you're shy around him, try and do this one thing. Act like you're not shy, even if you're terrified on the inside, don't show it.

[artistall]

I can tell you are Confused just from what you have written! You say you were not great friends! He was forever friendly! Now he's withdrawn but you didn't do anything! You feel suddenly attracted to him! But now that he's withdrawn you feel unconfortable around him and he seems difficult! You say your shy and nervous and don't know what to do! "That's It"!! Not knowing what to do is the key dilemna that will lead you to the solution!! First! What do you want to do? That is what you need to decide! What do you really want? You want to move on or do you really want to seek a more serious relationship with him? Is it possible that his "Forever Friendly" behavior was an indication that he wanted more in the past but he was too shy and nervous himself to express it and you didn't pick up on it? He doesn't want to be hurt anymore so he avoids you? Decide what you want and go after it! If you want him then go after him and be honest with him and express how you feel! You both may be two of a kind when it comes to being shy and nervous! Let us know what happens! Good Luck!

[Dreamer]

Hi Charm Bracelet,

First of all, it's OK to be confused. It happens to the best of us, especially when dealing with the male species. Just kidding - no offense guys ;)

One thing that you said really sticks out in my mind the most. That is, "I find myself attracted to him now whereas before I didn't." In my honest opinion, this is a classic case of a challenge. In other words, we want what seems to be impossible at that moment. First of all, I think what you need to do is be honest with yourself. Do you really have feelings for this guy beyond friendship? If you do, then consider pursuing him. If you don't, then weigh how much this friendship means to you.

It sounds to me as though his friendship means a great deal to you considering how he makes you laugh, etc. Now, to answer your question regarding why he has become cold and distant from you all of a sudden, there could be many reasons. Sometimes guys withdrawl if they too have feelings & are unsure of how to sort out those emotions. Another possibility is that he is going through something in his life right now. He might be withdrawing from everyone, not just you. If I were you, and as easy as I know it is to do, don't take it personally, OK hon? If you know for a fact that you didn't say anything offensive to him, it probably isn't you. So don't blame yourself for something that is out of your control!

I think your next step is to just say to him next time you see him, "Hey, I don't know what has caused you to become distant and it really doesn't matter at this point, but if you need me, I'm here. If I said something to make you upset, I'm sorry...I didn't mean to hurt you." See if he opens up from that comment. If he doesn't, then just give him time. Let him come to you when he's ready. I know it's hard to just sit back and do nothing for a while, but it might be necessary in this situation. Also, I know you're shy, but guys DO like confidence. So bring out that side of you (practice if you have to) and show him that you enjoyed what you had & you'll really miss it if you have to get used to not having it any more.

My best wishes are with you. Good luck!