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DeshoneD · Jul 9, 2009, 05:58 PM

He started talking to people a day after we broke up... He didn't even take time to get over the relationship... He told me before that he doubts we will be back together.. But he says he still loves me... Is there hope for us getting back together??

Torrid13 · Jul 9, 2009, 06:32 PM

I'm going to have to say no, Darlin'.

He seems to have been over you since before he broke up with you. If he says there's not a chance, believe him.

He's a jerk. Seriously.

Stop talking to him, DON'T try to make "plans" to make him fall for you again, and don't hate yourself. Take care of yourself. It's time to get the hammer and nails and start rebuilding your heart, emotions, mentality, and life.

Good luck.

ajGambino · Jul 9, 2009, 08:52 PM

Sounds like he's been separated from you emotionally longer than you think. Don't worry about this guy, if he has the nerve to move on that quick, he wasn't really worth it, now was he? Try to focus on yourself now, who cares about what he's doing... this is all about you making yourself happy now.

Go NC and don't stop.

s_cianci · Jul 9, 2009, 08:55 PM

As the others have said, once there's a breakup, the dumper has already detached himself emotionally. It's over. Time to pack up and move on.

talaniman · Jul 9, 2009, 08:58 PM

You may be hurt and in shock over the break up, he is not. Leave him alone and worry about getting over your shock and healing, then you will see that you may not want him back.

It takes time, but you will be better. Sorry for your loss.

DeshoneD · Jul 10, 2009, 06:36 PM

Threads merged

Ive been with my boyfriend for 2 months now and he wants to have sex... I told him I wasn't really ready.. but he said that if I love him.. I would do it.. I really love this guy and doesn't want to loose him.. Should I or should I not??

danielnoahsmommy · Jul 10, 2009, 06:41 PM

Oldest line in the book! You are doing the right thing you are not ready and you told him so. If he respected you he would honor you feelings and back off. He is using the oldest ploy in the book. "if you loved me you would..."

Be strong and stick to your beliefs

xdarkninja · Jul 10, 2009, 06:44 PM

If he truly loves you for who you are than he wouldn't pressure you into doing things that you're not ready for. Most guys out there would say and do anything just to get that one thing from a girl and than leave cause they've gotten what they wanted. 2 months is just getting to know the opposite sex, he seems to be kind of rushing into things so quickly?? So I'd question about that.

Torrid13 · Jul 10, 2009, 06:45 PM

He doesn't seem to love you or respect you. He's a jerk for trying to manipulate you into having sex and doing something you don't want to do. I would consider dating someone else, actually. But that's just me.

Also, 2 months isn't enough time to really trust someone with something that big a deal (and it is a big deal, I don't care what anyone says), especially if you're a virgin.

Stick to your guns, and don't be afraid to kick him to the curb if he keeps it up!

jenniepepsi · Jul 10, 2009, 06:54 PM

If you have ANY DOUBTS what so ever, you DO NOT NEED TO HAVE SEX.

If he does not understand this, nor respect this, than HE IS THE ONE who does not love you.

If your not ready, Don't DO IT.

Good luck.

ajGambino · Jul 10, 2009, 06:55 PM

If he loves you, he should be willing to wait.

Forcing you to have sex with him is not love.

If you lose him, all the better for you, you are not ready. Tell him.

zippit · Jul 10, 2009, 07:22 PM

If you don't believe the advice we gave you go ahead.. have sex
Then see how much he loves you afterwards.

N0help4u · Jul 10, 2009, 07:25 PM

You tell him if he loves you then he should be willing to wait
Never have sex under pressure.
It is better to wait and know what you are getting into than jump into something because you are made to feel you have to or else...

blueeyedlou · Jul 10, 2009, 08:06 PM

Any guy who truly loves you will wait. I was pressured into my first time and really regret it, because he wasn't worth it.

makapuu · Jul 10, 2009, 09:08 PM

Originally Posted by DeshoneD

.. i really love this guy and doesnt want to loose him.. Should i or should i not???

You say you "really love this guy" and don't want to lose him. That sort of means you'll have sex with him regardless of if he loves you.

Janmarie · Jul 10, 2009, 11:37 PM

You want to keep him? Then don't have sex with him. How about holding out for what you want first? If it is commitment then get that from him before you give into him.

The next time he says," If you love me then you'd have sex with me," Look him in the eye and say, " Sex is reserved for ownership." He will know exactly what you are talking about and you don't have to explain.

If you give him what he wants before he gives you what you want, you won't get a commitment from him and especially not anytime soon.

danielnoahsmommy · Jul 11, 2009, 02:06 AM

Janmarie, No one should "OWN" another person.

talaniman · Jul 12, 2009, 12:04 PM

Is there hope for us getting back together??

He broke up with you and is manipulating your feelings for him to get sex from you. It would be the mistake of your very young, inexperienced life to fall for his BS.

No he ain't worth getting back with, and I don't care how strong your young feelings are for him.

Janmarie · Jul 12, 2009, 12:19 PM

Originally Posted by danielnoahsmommy

Janmarie, No one should "OWN" another person.

It means "commitment." one person committed to another in the relationship. It's a confident, flirtatous way of putting it if said in that way. Most guys understand it when a woman says this to him. But you may be to young to get it right now.

Romefalls19 · Jul 12, 2009, 07:09 PM

Jan, I agree with Dan. The way it came off was that if you have sex you "own" the person. Perhaps try avoiding "old sayings" or "analogies" because some people may not know what they do mean. I have never heard of that saying and when I first read it I thought it mean own the person.

To the OP, forget this guy as he just wants sex