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none12345 · Apr 11, 2009, 04:41 PM

Here is just a thought.

If you and your ex break up. You tell yourself you will do anything to get them back. You fight for them, promise change and all those sort of stuff. Say in the end you get them back, it will be under their terms and you will do whatever they want you to because you don't want them to leave you again. Can you live under those conditions? I don't think I can.

Would you guys say this is accurate?

teastalk · Apr 11, 2009, 05:08 PM

Well it depends on what they ask you. Say that they wanted you to call them every day. Sure, I could do it.

none12345 · Apr 11, 2009, 05:38 PM

Don't expect it to be something so simple just like that. She wouldn't break up with you because you didn't call her everyday. Im talking about something big that could be a reason why the break up happened in the first place. Something that might contradict who you are.

Blushingbride · May 1, 2009, 04:33 PM

I do believe that if things are too easy and everything's going too smooth it isn't true love. True love is when you state your opinion and even when you fight and disagree you two can sit down without arguing and come to one common ground. Me and my fianc'e argue sometimes especially recently like last night but we listen to each other and talk things through. However you're going to come across points when you can't always talk it through like you thought so today I'm kind of in a pickle myself because I didn't think there was nothing we couldn't get through. I would fight till the very end to make things work because I don't want to be without him but if it would ever come down to something serious I would leave. You have to know when it's worth fighting for and if you realize all that you're fighting isn't worth the trouble then you leave. Love is truly what matters to you. EX. If all you two do is fight and you can't fix things yeah take breaks but if it keeps up after then with your love for her you'll let her go because if she's not happy with you or you with her you will want her to be happy. That's love.

sabrewolfe · May 1, 2009, 05:11 PM

My belief, there is no greater thing in the world than to have a loving partnership. A man is only half of what he was created for just as a woman is. Together, they become one. People, including myself, are the most emotional to relationships than anything else because of this natural need. It is my belief that it is what makes us whole and complete. Soulmate to me is a word that describes this, being made as only half of something that a greater being has created us to be. If we were to all have this completeness in our lives, wouldn't the world be so much easier to live in? But as all great things, we must work and persevere for it.

Janmarie · May 1, 2009, 07:42 PM

Originally Posted by sabrewolfe

My belief, there is no greater thing in the world than to have a loving partnership. A man is only half of what he was created for just as a woman is. Together, they become one. People, including myself, are the most emotional to relationships than anything else because of this natural need. It is my belief that it is what makes us whole and complete. Soulmate to me is a word that describes this, being made as only half of something that a greater being has created us to be. If we were to all have this completeness in our lives, wouldn't the world be so much easier to live in? But as all great things, we must work and persevere for it.

My opinion is that we are allready whole and complete just as we are. We are never half of a whole and there is no one that can complete us. In thinking that we are half of a whole basically is saying that you need a relationship to "save" you or "complete" you.

I like to call this the Jerry McGuire "you complete me" syndrome. In the movie Renee Zellweger and Tom Criuse fall in love and profess to one another, "you complete me." It was a tug at your heart strings kind of movie. But off the big screen this really wrecks havoc on men and women and put a huge strain on our emotional well being.

I would not want to be in a relationship where my man was only putting in 50% of himself into it. Nor would I be only putting in 50%. That is what they used to say and believe in the old days and people throughout generations continue to adopt that mind set about relationships. I'm saying that we are already complete and whole and relationships are 100/100 not 50/50. That would mean you are only giving half of yourself to something that is important to you.

derekglassman · Jul 26, 2009, 08:20 PM

I lost my first love 4 months ago. We were a love that is hardly seen anymore I guess. We spent every single day together for an entire year, were close in mind and spirit, everything. Although, maybe I'm foolish lol. Anyway, we spent every single day of an entire year together, telling one another every single day that we loved each other. We told each other everything, however, one day, it all turned sour. I went to my brothers bachelor party that had strippers. A stripper gave me a lap dance. That started the trust issue to break down. After that, she made me start facing the problems of my past, which naturally, I disagreed with. I didn't want to face anything of my past. Every time she made me face it, we fought. Even at the end, she never wanted to leave, she just felt things wouldn't change if she stayed around. Then like a man in a daze, I tried every way in the book to get her back, without trying to work on myself. We started getting back together, but I was too impatient and it fell apart again. She still loves me now, but we have to be apart for a while.

I have been working on myself, but in that time, she started seeing someone else. I know she hasn't forgotten about me, but I know that she felt like she had to move on. The new guy is a saint. He's 28, she's 21, he's a very good christian that follows the book, he's a middle school teacher of math, loves children, a very good man; very good for her. I know that I was her first love and we have some AMAZING memories together, but sometimes that strong of love isn't enough. I don't have the money he has because I'm still a college student and I can't do the things he does because I can't drive due to a disability; he kicks my straight up lol. But after everything, I see that he is great for her and I just want someone to give her that love she deserves. Of course I would fight to get her back, but I'm not the man this guy is. I have changed a lot (used to be an atheist, then converted to Christianity after some other stuff happened, started reading a lot more, especially books women, started getting into shape, and my personality and demeanor has gone down, I'm quieter now lol). I was very good to her, did everything for her (used to ride my bike a mile in the winter time, with extra clothing in my backpack so she could be warm, in 50 degrees and lower weather, to pick her up from work just to make sure she got home safe; didn't have a car). I loved her very much, with all my heart; we just fought over stupid stuff because I hadn't faced my past yet. Now that I have, I'm OK again, but it's too late for us. I guess the point of all this is that even if you love someone with all your heart, you have to give them up for the better.