[cherryriham]

I have a 4 year old son and he is obsessed about another kid in his kindergarten. He wants to play with him all the time and if the kid doesn't want to play with him then my son usually plays on his own or sits alone waiting for the kid to allow him to play with him (he does play with other kids sometimes though but not always). He wants to buy anything that the kid has, tries to act like him and wants to eat what the other kid eats. Recently he told me that he wants the other kid's mom to be his mother. And he said he wants me to look like her which really broke my heart. We live in a northern European country and the kids mother is a blond with big curly hair. While we are a little dark skinned with dark brown hair. I'm not totally sure if this is normal or not. Should I move my son to another Kindergarten?what do you think is the right thing to do? Please help me.

[AKaeTrue]

If your son tells you things like he wants another mommy, I wouldn't take
It to heart, even though I know those words are crushing, he's 4.
Just explain that you love him very much. You two were paired together
For a reason and you are so happy that he is your son.

If he has not mentioned the way this woman looks, then it probably has
Nothing to do with looks/hair color ext. If he has, explain that everyone is
Different and the world we live in would be very boring if everyone were
The same. Give him some for instances as well to help him understand.
For example, if all his toys were the same, looked the same, were exactly
The same... it would be boring. It's nice to have lots of different toys, etc.

You might like to also ask his teacher for a conference and explain to her
The situation and your concerns. The teacher can and should help with
This situation by encouraging your son to play with other children
And other children to play with your son.

Encouraging your child to play with other children by talking about
It at home could also be beneficial.

You could say stuff like:

-Just like (the kid he likes) has many friends, he should have many friends
Too. People don't just have one friend, people should have many friends.

-If (kid) doesn't want to play, don't sit around waiting, go play, have fun,
Run and smile and laugh.

If you say these things with joy and encouragement in your voice,
It could give him a little confidence boost to do these things.

When he comes home from school each day, talk to him about his day.
See what he says. Ask him if he played with lots of kids. If he says yes,
Make a big deal about it That's GREAT!! WOOHOOO! Give me a high 5!

This type of stuff everyday might help him build self confidence.

I hope things work out. I wouldn't change kindergartens right yet,
He may just attach himself to some other kid.
Try to work on the issue instead of running away from them.
Have his teacher get involved to help you help your son.
That's the main goal.

Good luck to you and your son.

[isabelle]

I agree with the above.
Sometimes kids ( as we all do) only see what goes on the outside and never behind closed doors. When I was a child I wanted a "leave it to beaver" mom.
Your child will probably ourgrow this stage , but the above things are great ideas.
One more thing, when he is sitting and witing to play with this child, mybe you could pull out a game and start playing with him and pretty soom some other children may want to become involved.
It could be that your child is kind of shy about making friends and this one child is all he had the nerve to get to know.
Try inviting other children to your house to play and he may get the confidence he needs to make more friends.
Good luck and keep us informed. I will be praying for you.