I received an answer and do not agree with it at all. I know that person does not know everything but here goes. My daughter and I were best friends until she met up with her husband to be. Neither he dad or I ever abused her. She was never even spanked. She has fantazied this up in her head for some unknown reason.
Last year at a family funeral I asked her if I could talk with her sometime and she said yes and I was to call or email her. I did just that and what do I get back but "Mom, You have not reached my expectations this last year so further communication with you will simply hinder our relationship." What relationship??? We have none. I took care of our granddaughter for the first three years of her life and then bam I cannot see her anymore. No explanation, nothing, just you are not allowed. I have tried to communicate with her very gently but when she does not want to talk what in the hell am I supposed to do but hurt all the time??>???????

slurpiness

well that is a differently story. I didn't see this being stated on your last post. it seems that you're daughter seems to be ambitious and ungrateful. I apologize for my inappropriate response but i strongly believe you should have added this to the original post otherwise generate different point of views from all angles.

vlee

I can't tell you why she is behaving this way, but if it happened when she met a new guy, I am sure he is part of it. There is nothing you can do except keep reaching out and chancing being rejected. It's not fun, but it is your only hope. As far as your grandchild, you can sue for visitation. Grandparent's have rights too, especially if you cared for the child for 3 years. Contact a family law attorney if you are interested in pursuing visitation rights. Have you emailed your daughter simply to ask to see your grandchild? Do that too. Best of luck to you.

Illusion

I know you are in a difficult situation. If your daughter feels/believes that she has been abused, then I would not argue the point. For her, it is not a fantasy. As hard as it may be, don't deny how she feels. I would want to know why she feels this way. Don't disagree. Listen and acknowledge that if you did something to hurt her, you are sorry. You did the best you could with what you knew at the time. You may not agree but do acknowledge her feelings - that she feels hurt, angry about something. On her own, your daughter may not have felt strong enough to "stand up" to you - now that she has someone in her life, she may feel she has the emotional support she needs to stand her ground.

You might want to write her a letter - or e-mail, letting her know that you care for her and love her, that the relationship is important to you, if you hurt her, you are sorry. Your daughter may need time to be angry. Let her know that you want a connection and will be there when she is ready to get in touch with you. Because she is angry doesn't mean she will never again speak to you.

I would suggest that you go for counseling to learn about yourself and your relationship with your daughter. Even if your daughter cannot join you now, it will help you to re-focus and help you thru this. It took alot of courage for me to confront my own Mother about things in the past. I have been lucky because my Mother heard me out and has accepted that she did hurt me when I was little. She has told me that she did feel bad she wasn't always a better parent. Those times when my Mother said, "You're right" were golden to me because I needed her recognition. I was a good kid but my Mother was a perfectionist. I love her dearly and I would not be who I am today without her. But believe me, we have had many a conversation - she accepts me and I now recognize she was only human. I hope things get better.