How to answer abusive adult daughter?

Nalogg · Sep 30, 2007, 10:53 PM

2 words:

Restraining order

Call the police, get her kicked out of your house (if she lives with you) and get a restraining order so she's not allowed to come within 100 yards.

cerisa · Oct 5, 2007, 11:02 AM

That is a sad situation that unfortunately is all too common anymore. Could you elaborate on the circumstances? Is she verbally or physically abusive? Somehow we parents of our generation allowed our children to believe that they were entitled to all the luxuries in life- the car, cell phone, expensive jeans, shoes etc. We in our generation did not normally have really expensive things given to us. We had to work for any extra thing we wanted when I was young, and had the satisfaction of earning it ourselves. Our children don't know what it is like to save for things, they run up credit cards and have it all now. Also, some people allow their children see too much of their personal lives, and they become disrespectful. I don't feel that children should know your personal finances or your love life. They should know that giving birth is painful, caring for a baby is exhausting. Raising a child is hard work. A personal sacrifice of your time, energy, and income. The biggest emotional investment in your life. And that alone deserves respect. Hope my ramblings make any sense. Good Luck to you and your Daughter

Scared gota dui · Oct 26, 2008, 03:43 PM

Even though I'm only 19 I whole heartedly agree with Cerisa. My parent's as well as my generation take advantage of luxuries you never had so you want to provide for us. Regardless, immediately get a restraining order and maybe down the road you can lift it when you feel it safe to do so. Also, if the abuse is physical I know it will be painful, but you must press charges against her in order for her hopefully to realize that enough is enough. Maybe it will only exacerbate matters, but as of right now something must be done for your own safety if anything. God Bless please let me know what you end up deciding to do. You will be in my prayers.

carolklumpp3 · Sep 18, 2009, 09:31 AM

I have an adult daughter who disrespects me for no apparent reason. It's usually when she is having emotional problems herself. I've tried the idea of "longsuffering" but that doesn't seem to be working for me. I have had her take my grandchild away for periods of time just because he was up late once when I had him. This is a daughter who I tell I love her and hug her every time I see her. I also pay for her meals and my grandson's meals when they are with me. I think tough love is best for someone like this because I don't think some people really know what love is.

bear09 · Jun 3, 2011, 11:43 AM

I am sorry, I too am getting it from adult daughter. Last night she called me a fxxxing *****
All because I wouldn't make her ex husband (father of her children) sit on the sidelines at the t ball game; it is insufferable

bear09 · Jun 3, 2011, 11:44 AM

About my daughter that calls me names..I am with you..I don't know what to do. It is horrible, depressing and very sad. I am tired of crying any thoughts

Jake2008 · Jun 4, 2011, 04:58 AM

You are replying to a very old thread.

Please post your own new question. You will receive far more answers.

Thanks.

used2bee · Jun 16, 2011, 12:44 AM

Please help , my daughter aged 36 has been abusing me mentally for nearly 15 years.I really cannot cope anymore, I have no one to turn to.I feel like it would be best not to be here sometimes,I lock myself away in my room and pretend to be out if I can....she doesn't think she has a problem,but she has smashed up my home many times.she has emptied a bag of rubbish over me....the list is endless, I thought once about moving right away from her but I have grandchildren..my daughter has no conscience, never says sorry, thinks she is right all the time,and people actually agree with her to stop her from kicking off it doesn't take much....she does not relate to the word no, or if she can't get her own way , she kicks off big time she does not care if its in front of children..I love her , but stopped liking her sometime ago ...please believe me when I say I can't take it any longer .I have just been diagnosed with cardiomyopathy...I was advised not to get stressed ....no chance!

Lizzym1 · Jul 8, 2011, 06:57 AM

It seems we all have similar situations.
My daughter recently asked me if she can move home again. She is 22, pregnant and about to be homeless.
She moved back in with me last year when she fell out with her partner and it was a nightmare. She had no respect for me, didn't pay a penny towards her keep, I'm still paying of fuel debts because of her. She is constantly rude to me and doesn't help around the house unless I go about her mess.
I got so depressed in the end that I really felt like taking my own life. I don't really cry much, but when it reached a head, I couldn't stop crying. My daughters reaction was to come downstairs, accuse me of attention searching and laughed in face.
Then she proceeded to tell her father (divorced when she was 3) how I emotionally blackmailing her through my feeling like ending my life.
I don't have a good relationship with him, and he proceeded to tell half the town about my problems, in the most cruel way.
I've told my daughter that she can only move back in if we have a proper talk, in a calm way, to sort out the problems we have, if possible. As I can't put myself through it again.
Now she is moving back in with her Dad and half the town have been told that I refused to give my homeless pregnant daughter a roof over her head.
My real friends know the truth and that's what's important.
I love my daughter and hope we can resolve this respectfully.

How to answer abusive adult daughter?

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