Hi all,
I don't normally visit sites like this, but I'm at my wits end! I have a 12 year old daughter and share joint legal and joint physical custody with her father. She lives with me for 2 weeks and then with him for 2 weeks. I am 34 and married. He is 40 and unmarried. I feel that he has been brainwashing her against me for quite some time now. We were divorced in 2001 and he is still continually dragging me through the legal system. I have spent $20,000 in attorney's fees since 2001. He moved approximately 30 miles away and so my daughter has had to commute to school that distance every two weeks when she is with him. Recently, he kidnapped her from me and enrolled her in the school district that he lives in without my parental consent as required per the judgement of divorce. I immediately called the police the night he refused to bring her home, but since this is a civil/custody dispute, they advised me that I would have to seek help from the courts. It took me a month to get a court date, and every attempt that I made to pick up my daughter, her father denied. During this month that he kept her from me, he would shut off the cell phone that he purchased for her, and was telling her such things as "Your mom hasn't even tried to call you" I had also been trying to e-mail her and he would not let her get on the computer to retrieve her messages. He has been coaching her in sports and has told other mother's that he schedules all practices on my parenting time. He has went bankrupt in one of his businesses, is now self-employed again, and has deputy sherriff's and bill collector's after him. He owes the IRS over $200,000... What really hurts me the most is that my daughter believes everything that he tells her, and for the past 5 1/2 years he has been brainwashing her against me. He was convicted of domestice violence for pushing me down the stairs on Christmas Eve. Anyway, after we went to court, the judge decided that he would give me complete control over what school my daughter will attend. So I am switching her back to the town she has gone to school for her whole life except for this last semester. As recently as last Wednesday when I was picking her up from school, he walked up to my car and became confrontational. My daughter blamed me for this, even though I had done nothing. In order to prevent an argument in front of her, I even remained silent even though he kept badgering me. I guess my question is... does this sound like a father who is trying to turn my daughter against me? How do I get her to see that I am not "the bad guy" and that I only have her best interests at heart?