I have just had to inform my daughter that I cannot afford to attend her destination wedding. It broke my heart, and she will now no longer speak to me and wants nothing to do with me.
I am very hurt and depressed as she cannot understand where I am coming from. I told her I still will pay for those wedding items that I said I would, however it does not allow any money for the trip and expenses.
What am I to do?
She, her father (we are divorced), his mother and her future mother in law have been included in all the planning which has been extremely painfull to deal with, but I have. The only times she has included me was in the purchasing of the dress and shoes, of which I bought for her. I am also paying for the hair and makeup for her and her sister at the wedding.
The wedding is taking place during a busy holiday season and at a very exclusive resort. In the beginning I thought I would be able to attend, however I have been hit with her student loans coming due (she has yet to graduate or even attend school in the last year) and finished paying off her car.
Her father makes 5 times what I make in a year and thinks I should foot half of everything. Which is how she feels also.

Did you explain to her what you told us about the car and student loans? Are the loans in her name?

Where is her father in the student-loan and car-payment thing?

She said daughter and dad say mom and dad should go 50/50.
Short of explaining her expenses leaving her too short for an extravagant wedding trip I don't think the daughter will come around soon. I'm thinking she will have to say she can AFFORD to go IF her daughter takes over some of her student loan and car payments that mom is paying for for her.

Horrible,mercenary daughter. I would yank the checkbook on everything. She even dropped out of school? If she is going to treat you this way, you might as well go all the way and refuse to pay for absolutely everything, past, present, and future.
Send her a wedding present, and that's it.

Tell her you will be glad to come, she is now married and has to pay for her own car, her own student loans and so on.

You should not have been paying those anyway

I agree. You should go and make sure she and her husband pay off those loans. Are they in your name or hers?