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    ernie7983's Avatar
    ernie7983 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    May 16, 2010, 03:12 PM
    My daughter doesn't speak with me and I don't know why.
    I had sole custody of my daughter after a divorce. We were very close and she always told people how much she loved her Dad and the security he (I) provided. She went to college, which I paid for and I visited her often and loved her very much. When she was a child, I had strong financial resources and we both lived a very comfortable life. For the past 10 years, I have relocated and struggled to keep my financial obligations. Still, I keep a life insurance policy so when I pass, my daughter will get enough money to satisfy all her financial obligations (loans, etc.) which I know are on her mind. We did lots of things together and I was always there for her. When my daughter turned 12 I remarried and within a year, my new wife had a baby boy. For 12 years, my daughter had 100% of my love and attention. She does not see or speak with her mother. I think my daughter resented another child coming into my life. Between her mother being out of the picture and my son being born, I never knew how my daughter processed that. A few years ago, my daughter moved out to the West coast and I have visited her once in the past 3 years. She never has time to call or email me and when I call her or email her, she snaps at me, clearly indicating no time and no desire for communication. Since we were always very close and loving, I don't understand. It hurts me deeply. Now, I am getting older and don't want to leave my daughter, when I pass away, feeling guilty that she pushed me away. She'll talk to my son and even my son's mother who remarried, but doesn't have the time for her own Dad. I know I was a good father and don't know what factors push my daughter to place such barriers between us. She responds to my emails with "relax and I'll call you next week. But she doesn't.
    Any suggestions?
    Catsmine's Avatar
    Catsmine Posts: 3,826, Reputation: 739
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    #2

    May 16, 2010, 03:34 PM

    Bad news, Ernie.

    She's grown up. She has her own life. Take pride in that. Consider sending her a weekly or every other week update on what's going on in your life with the conclusion "No need to respond, just letting you know." or words to that effect. Likely she'll take you at your word for a couple of months, then start with one mail, then maybe a Birthday or Father's Day e-mail, then on from there.

    You might want to look up Harry Chapin's "Cat's in the Cradle." That's where my read on your question came from.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #3

    May 16, 2010, 06:07 PM

    Relax, ( if you can) and let her come around at her own pace. She will!

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