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Home > Family & People > Children   »   Child will not say " I'm sorry"

 
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Old Mar 5, 2007, 06:31 PM
bhousejim
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Child will not say " I'm sorry"

What can I do when my 14 year old daughter absolutely refuses to say shes sorry for doing wrong?

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Old Mar 5, 2007, 06:36 PM   #2  
worthbeads
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Discipline her. Tell her no ""fill in the blank" until you say sorry.

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AKaeTrue agrees: Yep...That works :-)
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Old Mar 5, 2007, 06:44 PM   #3  
bluerose
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If she has got to say it, it won't mean anything anyway. When she is truly sorry she will say it. 14 year olds think they know it all. Give her a couple of years and she will begin to get the message, especially after she has been let down a few times.
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Old Mar 5, 2007, 06:51 PM   #4  
Fr_Chuck
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You can force her to say it ( well maybe you can) but as stated you will never make her understand it is wrong or be sorry.

Now I do beleive in reasonal punishment, so they don't have thier ipod, or thier computer, or thier cell phone, or thier blackberry, or the TV in thier room. So they may say they are sorry ( sorry they got punished) but you did make your point.

But then perhaps we don't know the details, perhpas she really does not feel she did anything wrong, if she does not, then there are more issues with her ideas of morals and the such which is not going to be fixed overnight no matter what you do.
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Old Mar 5, 2007, 09:00 PM   #5  
Teaching
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I think "her actions are more important" than the actual word "sorry". We can all say sorry, however if our actions don't match it, it doesn't matter.

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Asaahi agrees: This is for sure...
bluerose agrees: Exactly.
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Old Mar 5, 2007, 09:40 PM   #6  
Asaahi
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Well, honestly a lot of times, the reason for this problem is that the child feels that he she is always to blame for something. A good strategy that almost always works is to accept that you have made a mistake two, and that both parties are to blame and should work on problem.

Don't force the words, but definitely make sure you have the upper hand in the Child / Guardian relationship.
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Old Mar 6, 2007, 08:33 AM   #7  
jonjons1girl
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bhousejim
What can I do when my 14 year old daughter absolutely refuses to say shes sorry for doing wrong?
Find out why she doesn't want to say she sorry. Sometimes people feel they didn't do anything wrong, you must show her why it was wrong. But also do something to teach her what it really means to be sorry or to forgive. To truely forgive means to wish that person, who has done you totally wrong, well. To be happy for them. Allow her to realize that a lot of people do things that they don't realize hurts others. And that hurt can really affect a person and how they turn out in life-- for example people that murder sometimes have expierenced hurtful things in their life that they cant get over, even small things could lead up to something like this. Then get her to remember this verse, if your a Christain family or church going, when someone does her wrong, "Forgive them for they know not what they are doing." I know it helps me to just let go of the things that otherwise I would hold against someone and not forgive them. It can also help her remember not to retaliate when someone does her wrong, so that she doesn't do anything to be sorry for. GOOD LUCK!

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Teaching agrees: I completely agree - it is about having the conversation - you will get more out of it in the long run!
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