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I know this is a sensitive topic but as an adult child and chatting with friends, I have found this to be a common phenomenon. Any thoughts would be appreciated to relieve this pain.
Mothers seem to be (and are) destroying their children's life on purpose. First subconsciously then as years go by, they would do it on purpose.
For example, they would frown upon the children's success by saying things like... so what if you are gettting good mark at school... so what if you are earning a living yourself.... And they have actions to go along with their words such as making noise when you study or phoneing your workplace to disturb you.
I really disagree, while I often speak about my mother from, well somewhere hot, it has nothing to do with love, it is because of her love she acts the way she does.
I beleive it is more a misunderstanding or a differnt way to show things then the other person wants or expects.
I may not be able to stay in the same room with my mother for more than 2 hours, but hate has nothing to do with it, it is the extreme love she has that she focus on me poorly that is the issue
lol As a male that sounds more like my father-- and he really did not change till the plant he worked at and wanted me to work at shut down.
My little brother worked there and got the boot after 17 years -- no marketable skills.
So there I was at 45 and my dad begrudging said -- maybe you made the right dissension
I wish I could answer because then i could help my GF her mom ruined her life at first with drinking and then jealousy.....calling names locking in rooms and gorunding while her sister was able to roam free...I think it comes to jealousy...and possible the relatiuonship the daughter has with the father...could your mom bejealous of that?
I don't find it a common phenomenon at all though it absolutely exists. Some of my peers (I'm a father of two) seem to base their parenting on NOT doing what their parents did to them - breaking the circle so to speak. Sometimes you have to cut out the cancer in your life and minimize contact with the ones who bring you down.
I myself have went through this with my mother. She would call me stupid or she wouldn't make a big deal over my grades in school, but she would make a big deal when my sisters would get good grades. I would have to be the one to clean, work and I was hardly ever aloud out with my friends. I would get hit all the time for reasons I am still clueless about today. I am currently 24 years old and I am doing great for myself and she continues to talk about me. Make up lies about me and just do things to break my heart. I am still loyal to her and I never do anything to hurt her. I just hold everything in and try to forgive her. I just don't understand why she is like this? I have always been a good kid no matter what. I guess I will never know.
You don't have to get a license to be a mother, and some really twisted sadistic people happen to get pregnant and bear children. It's another one of the ways in which life isn't fair, because having a mother like that is definitely a big disadvantage.
Having children does not make you a mother...that makes you able to have children
Being a mother is so much more then giving birth. Mothers are best friends, cheerleaders, caregivers, a shoulder to cry on, support, love unconditionally, mediator, rule maker and so much more.
Just because someone has a child does not mean that they are a mom...unfortuately that is the sad truth.
I can say for sure that there are a couple people I know that consider themselves mothers but they make their childrens life miserable which does not make them a parent at all. A parent does not always put their children down, making them feel useless just for some examples.
I agree with everyone. Unfortuanantly just about any one can become a parent. There are only a few who actually deserve it and wear the honor like a badge. My parents were great and still are. They have always gone out of there way to help us out and make us feel good.
I dont know how a parent can act like that. I am a parent myself to a 19 month old boy. He is my WORLD! I dont know what I would do without him. Every little thing he does makes me proud. This will be until the day I die!
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