I have a son that will be 6 in January and he was taken away from his "egg donor" I call her back in aug of 03, she has not see him since before he was 2 and I am the only mother he knows. I tried to set a motion to terminate her rights, but was advised by HKI that this would only re-open her case so she could get visits. She has recently had 2 other kids which only one is in her custody. I speak to her every once in a while, she still does not see him. She is behind over 10,000.00 in child support... all I want is for her to sign a step parent adoption form or find a way to make sure that she can't just decide she is done with the drugs and wants to have a relationship with my son! I just wish there was a way I could make sure that she never gets to see him until he is old enough to realize that she abandoned him and chose drugs over him. She smoked meth while pregnant with him, but thank god he is smart as could be and is doing great right now in life and if she were to come in and say she's his mom, it would blow his mind and tare his world apart... if anyone knows what I could do, help.

Usually when they are this far behind in support, the state goes after them. Why has your prosecuting attorney in the city you live (or where the support was ordered) not ordered them to show up in court? My husband was brought all the way from Florida to Michigan when he was $8000 behind. They held him in jail until he came up with the money, not to mention court costs and jail expenses. Contact your friend of the court office and demand they collect your money by wage withholding, tax rebate, and any other means they can. I believe you have slipped through their cracks. At that time when they are in jail trying to come up with the money, you can request that she sign away rights so you can proceed with a step parent adoption. My state said they would only push to terminate rights if there was another parent ready to adopt. Is there a visitation order? If not, you don't have to allow visitation even if there is a support order in place. If she chooses to push the visitation, see your friend of the court office and they will also order a show cause hearing where she has to appear and explain herself, if she chooses not to appear, they may terminate visitation if there is an order. Good luck.

It is like they state isn't going hard on her cause she is a mother... the HKI worker told me that the state seldom terminates mothers parental rights. They always try and give them another chance... I'm going to check into that and push the support issue more and try to get them to go after her... but there was a visitation schedule set up and she was always missing her visits and would come to my home under the influence of crack or meth and so we stopped letting her see him.. she has not seen him since 2005. She had agreed at one time to sign the step parent adoption forms, but I think her family may have talked her out of it cause she is off the drugs.. but we have talked and she understands that he is too young to be told all this stuff right now. He is very intellegent and doing great in school and I would hate for him to rebel and feel betrayed cause he hasn't been told the truth, but he is too young to understand and she agrees about that and also she is hesitant on signing rights away to him right now cause she is trying to get her daughter back and don't want the courts to see she signed her rights away to another child... this girl has issues. I just want to adopt my son and that way she can't have no rights to him if anything were to happen to my husband... cause I think about those kinds of things all the time and it drives me nuts knowing my son could be taken from me.. but thanks for you advice!!

Really push your case with your county/city child support offices. Ask to have visitation termintated first, if they won't, ask for supervised visitation. Often that is enough for the parent to stop using visitation. Tell them you want to do a step partent adoption, and push the child support collection. When you begin this, she will probably start coming around again. Keep a log of EVERYTHING. Every time she calls, visits, what her demeanor was(drug use) and what was said. You will need this later, to prove unsuitability. It make take a long time, but keep at it.

If you can get the child support issue in hand, that may be enough for her to sign the papers. Often looking at that huge bill is enough for them to say I don't want to pay this anymore and they might sign. Usually they are still liable for all back support up until the date the papers are signed. You can always offer to write a letter to the child support office forgiving the balance when they sign the paper, that is always an incentive. Good luck

Funny thing, the donor called me yesterday to give me the heads up that she was petitioning the court to reduce her child support... she didn't want me to think she was trying to take him... she said she wants to start paying the support but can't pay what they are asking. And I have recorded everything. I have the whole visitation wrote down, dates and times she came and how long she stayed and when she didn't come, I wrote down her excuses... she says she don't want visitation cause my husband and I are hell bent on letting her see him and she don't push the issue... I don't know. I'm going to take all the papers I have from her case and have a lawyer look them over, cause I think her rights may have been terminated... he was adjudicated back in 03 and we have had him everysince. But once again, thanks so much for your feedback!