My husband and i have an 8 yr old boy and for the last month we keep catching him in lies. Alot of little ones and so far not much is working when we ground him for it and etc. How do you disipline an 8yr old boy for lying? We have had talks with him about lying but he's still doing it off and on. HELP

Jesushelper76

What do you think he is lying about? If this is happening there could be a very easy reason and solution to why he feels the need to do this.

redsonya0113

He has ADD and he hates taking his pills for it he says they taste bad and so he has been off and on throwing them away until we finally caught him. Also he's gotton in trouble in school basically for not paying attention and etc and lies about that. We are christians and we teach our children the Bible and the ten commandments. We have tried diff things but nothing is working that well. My husband tends to be to strict and i tend to be not strict enough and that is a problem.

Wondergirl

My younger son went through a lying phase around that age. He lied to get out of/avoid things and especially to make himself seem more heroic and worthy of attention.

Like Jesushelper said, this isn't happening in a vacuum; there's a reason. Be a detective and see if you can figure out why he's doing it and what he hopes to accomplish with his lies. Once you know that, it will be easier to figure out how to stop it.

Wondergirl

Do the pills really taste bad, or is something else going on? Maybe he doesn't want to take the pills? Maybe he has trouble swallowing them? Have you talked with him about ADD and how the pills would improve his life? (How long ago was he diagnosed? and by whom?)


Have you talked with the teacher about this? Is he the only one considered ADD or who has an attention problem? Is the attention problem in only certain subjects, at certain times of the day? What is he doing instead of paying attention?


Well, the two of you are going to have to get yourselves on the same page, for your son's sake at least, if not for your own sakes. What does "strict" mean, and what does "not strict enough" mean?

Jesushelper76

You said that your husband tends to be strict and your tend not to be. I think because you two are not coming together with compromises and agreeing on these situations could actually be contributing to the problem.

Children needs bounderies, but there are some parents that set bounderies so strictly that the child tends to protest and fight more.

I understand that children hates taking pills and etc.. He is only 8 years old. Well many children do not pay attention in school. Some children are more focused then others.

There needs to be a happy balance and maybe a new approach taken by both you and your husband. Needs to be a joint effort. I personally feel that you both having different styles of raising children could be causing confusion. Until you both come together in agreement on things, also compromise so there are not the two extremes maybe eventually things will settle down.

Before making any drastic decisions please wait until you here advice from others as well. The more advice the better.

I hope things will work out for the best. It does not sound like he is a bad child. Sounds like he is a good child but has a hard time facing the music when he has done something.

In my own personal opinion, he could be afraid of telling the truth because of one of the parents having high expectations and are fairly strict. Edit ::: Maybe there are things happening in the school, that your unaware of as well. It is a possibility. That maybe they are not accomadating him as well as they should. Communications with the school and teachers are very important as well.

What do you think about this?

redsonya0113

We have talked with him about ADD he knows what it his and we have explained how the pills will help him his doctor diagnossed him with it and he doesnt normally get in trouble in school just now and then for not paying attention. He has the attention problem he started these oills at the end of last school year. And my husband and i are trying to work together on this. He tends to spank when i think he shouldnt and etc. or he will ground our sone from everything for something like this . From tv, games toys etc.

redsonya0113

I agree with you we were both single parents before we got together and ill admit i wasnt consistant in disipling my son and my husband was vry consistant with his boy and now we seem to be having more trouble with our 8 yr old. Mu husband grew up with a mean stepfather who was to strict and yelled at him alot etc. Mu husband says he gets some of those things from his step father and is trying to change and we are talking and praying and trying to meet in the middle and comprise but its hard.

Fr_Chuck

time outs, take away computer usage, take away other items. no TV, no weekend activities. but it has to be consistant. Yelling is never the thing to do for this ( yelling is great for running out in the road)

Wondergirl

And don't forget. He's a boy. Boys are active and have an imagination and don't sit nicely and pay attention but like to be busy. Teachers like girls because they sit still and do their work and pay attention. I taught 3rd and 4th grade in one room. The 3rd grade boys drove me crazy with how they kept moving and wouldn't sit quietly and wouldn't do their seatwork and forgot their assignments when they went home. Almost all the girls were perfect little darlings who obeyed instantly.

I wish I knew then what I know now about how different boys are from girls. In fact, that is something teachers are beginning to realize and to change about how lessons are taught. Some schools even put boys in one class and girls in another so their learning styles can work the best in each class.

Also, have a family meeting and include your son in the meeting. Talk about how things can improve and what each person's responsiblity will be.

Sometime children like to get stars on a chart that could be posted on the refrigerator. So many stars earned for certain jobs or improvements will get a videogame or a new toy or an ice cream cone at the mall.

Best wishes! Keep us informed!