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-   -   Brother and sister slleping in same room (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=87048)

  • Apr 27, 2007, 07:45 PM
    bugless23
    Brother and sister slleping in same room
    What is the legal age that boys and girls have to start sleeping in separate bedrooms?
  • Apr 27, 2007, 07:57 PM
    crystalbivens
    I'm not sure of the age but I would think when they start knowing something is different about boys and girls and they want to experiment.
  • Apr 27, 2007, 08:37 PM
    Fr_Chuck
    I have never seen any specific age, i.e. twin or bunk beds, they can lock the door to change, and so on, Often it is what the parents can afford, and not alwasys what is best. A single mom on welfare may only afford a two bedroom, so you do the best you can. Or even a mom and dad working min wage jobs may have a trouble also paying for more than a two bedroom

    I rent mostly two bedroom homes, and have some that rent for 250 a month ( not great places) but I have families that have a hard time affording these, both parents work at McDonalds or taco bell and get their electric turned off from time to time. So often parents just do the very best they can, if it means one child sleeping on a couch sometimes.
  • Apr 27, 2007, 09:04 PM
    1badchoice
    I don't think there is any law about this however, depending on state you live in, social services have very definite opinions. Definitely by the time they are in preteen age range they would say separate rooms are required. Sometimes they encourage separation earlier. You might try talking to someone who knows what social services in your area recommend. Most agencies you can call and just ask questions. You don't have to give identifying info and they cannot tell where your calling from. Cathy
  • Apr 27, 2007, 10:42 PM
    vlee
    I can tell you now that in PA it is not illegal at all, and I imagine many, if not all states are the same way. Immoral? Maybe. But as long as each child has a bed and a place to store belongings, it is not breaking any law. The bedroom is to be functional for sleeping and storing. Changing can be done in a bathroom. I have checked into this with an attorney here in PA.
  • Apr 27, 2007, 11:36 PM
    JoeCanada76
    Never heard of there being an illegal age?

    Hmmm, interesting question. It is up to the parents.

    Joe
  • May 8, 2007, 09:10 PM
    Crichtonluvr
    I am working on the same problem. I live in Nevada.. one of the worst states for child protection. My nephew recently came to live with me (he is 17) I have a 4 bedroom home, but all of the rooms are occupied with other family members. He and his sister (age 20) prefer to sleep in the same room, each with their own beds. The bedroom is for sleeping only the rest of their day is spent out in the family room or in the pool or whatnot. I have tried to search Nevada statutes for an answer to if this is against any law but have been unable to find anything. Each instance I have found relates to Foster care. I am hoping someone knows Nevada Law so I can make the proper decision as to their sleeping arrangement.
  • May 8, 2007, 09:16 PM
    brandy681
    I don't think a boy and girl should ever share the same room... but if there is no choice I would guess that over the age of 3 should have separate rooms. I don't know about any law but is someone sais something to social services you could get in trouble.
  • May 8, 2007, 09:29 PM
    vlee
    That isn't exactly true brandy. SS won't care at all as long as the kids have separate beds. If they are very young, that isn't even so much necessary. I have looked into it. And these aren't exactly kids. The youngest will be 18 on his/her next b-day. The oldest is an adult. Nothing is going to happen because of their sleeping arrangements.
  • May 8, 2007, 09:39 PM
    Skell
    How could you create a law against siblings sharing a bedroom? It is impossible and irrational.

    If two 19 year olds were still living at home and it was only a two bedroom home then there is no option but for them to share. Just because they share a bedroom doesn't mean they will share a bed.
  • May 8, 2007, 09:47 PM
    krystal1973
    I didn't know there was a law anywhere that says siblings cannot share a room. I know that when I got a license to do foster care in my home there were spacial rules for wards of the court, but nothing on siblings., If that was the case I think a lot of people would be in dire trouble.
  • May 8, 2007, 09:48 PM
    SnaveLeber
    I don't think that there is any legal age... But either way it's a touchy subject. I think that in the case of a single mother or father, the child of the same gender should share the room with the parent... or if that's not an option, at least make some kind of a feaux wall/ curtain wall to wall where there's some privacy.
    As much as I wouldn't want to think about it... a young boy, or sometimes girl... will begin to experiment with themselves... which is normal... and possibly healthy- I don't know. Either way, they need privacy, to journal, read, or whatever.
  • May 8, 2007, 10:00 PM
    1badchoice
    The case where the children in question are almost 18 and 20 would not be relevant as they are technically not children. As for children under 18 I think it depends on the family circumstances, ages, etc. I have personally worked for child welfare and have seen workers refuse to place children in a home if they did not have separate rooms for boys/girls. It may be more of a case by case basis. I am not sure. But I have seen it be a matter they look at... at least in OK and AZ. It's like saying you put all your children in a car without enough seat belts. Maybe it used to be okay as that's what a family had to do with the resources they had... now it would be unacceptable as each child must have their own seat belt. Period. If child welfare is involved... it may matter. If not... you may get away with same rm for boy/girl.
  • May 8, 2007, 10:08 PM
    hvacservicetech_07
    Fr_chuck, you kind of got away from the question a little?
  • May 8, 2007, 10:19 PM
    brandy681
    I disagree totally because a social worker can take a kid away if they are sharing the same bedroom because this almost happened to my moms friend here is Ga. She has a 9 year old boy and a 6 yr old girl and they have a small apartment and 2 bedrooms and had bunk beds... her mom is on disability and don't have much money but keeps a clean home and takes care of her children. They had to move into a different unit (same apartment) different unit though with 3 bedrooms, they gave her so many days, weeks etc to move. She also said this is not right and some social workers will not care or say anything about it but you can get in trouble. It depends totally on which social worker it is I guess and the circumstances but social services can be so so strict over little things I have delt from experiences.
  • May 8, 2007, 10:27 PM
    vlee
    I only know that here in PA, my kid shares a room with her half sister when she stays with her dad. Her dad's g/f has a son and daughter, and they share a room. CPS in PA does not find it illegal or poor living conditions. There are 5 full time and 2 part time residents in a 3 bedroom HUD subsidized apartment, and they are in the clear. Someone mentioned a parent sharing a room with a child of the same gender... in PA, that isn't permitted. Parents and children must have separate rooms. I imagine that is because courts recognize adults tend to have sexual relationships... so what then of the child sharing mom or dad's bed?
  • May 8, 2007, 10:56 PM
    brandy681
    My aunt lives in ALA and I have never even heard of a Social services there because it seems so country and so different. I bet you could get away with anything at all. My aunts kids would go outside with no clothes on in the country and just have on underwear, that's it. She had a 8 year old boy and a 6 yr old boy.. The oldest boy hated clothes, when they would drive to the nearest town to go shopping the youngest one would come back home from the inside and immediately take his clothes off until they go to the store again where he would be made to put his clothes back on. This was when he was 4 and when he had to start school his mom tried to get him out of the bad habit and he was better at wearing clothes but he still walked around naked all the time at 8 yrs old but that was only when he was at home but going to the store he would put clothes back on.


    I think that ALA and GA would be a whole lot different because in the country you don't have a lot of nosey neighbors, etc but when you stay in a apartment complex or house complex you have neighbors that will tell on you for no reason and social services can be so strict. If they see a bruise on a child they will immediately assume the worse and everything else too.
  • May 9, 2007, 01:21 PM
    brandy681
    I believe the Social Workers name was Shannon or Sharron but I can't remember it has been a while and I don't know the last name, she was pretty young too, I will try to get it for you guys but I don't want to get in trouble as well. From what I hear in Ga has really bad child services and worse then a lot of places. I don't know this from experience but I am 23.

    When I was a child I was young and don't remember much but I remember child services taking a picture of a small bruise on me because they thought my mom hit me and my mom never ever hit me. The reason they found out I had the bruise was because I was in school and was walking in the hall way and someone seen a bruise on my arm. I was only about 6 or 7 and don't remember much but I remember being sent into the office and they would lift my pants to check for bruises and check on my back, legs etc. and take pictures. Social services I believe came to the house to talk to my mom and for an inspection of the house also, they also talked to me but I cannot remember anything at all that I said because I was too young to remember. This is all that I remember and I think that is all that had happened.

    The Social Worker checked the refrigerator, and the living situation in general and my mom said that if the refrigerator was not full she would think that I was not getting enough food and I may get took away because I guess this is what the social worker told her. The social worker supposedly complained about that and came back for a re-check. My mom always kept a clean spotless home but she was upset that moms fridge was not packed FULL. We ate out a lot and I remember always having plenty to eat and never doing without. I remember my mom feeding a lot of my friends often also and we also had plenty of snacks etc.

    I guess that Social Workers will not mess with you unless friends complain about something or the school. My mom lived with my aunt for 2 years after I was born until she bought her own home. When I was about 2, I have NO memory at all... My aunt kicked my mom out for not paying rent. My mom was paying all of the rent back in 1986 and my mom paid $80 a week $280 a month and my aunt kicked her out for NO reason. The only thing I know is that my aunt kept me when she made my mom leave. The Social Worker got involved and my mom showed her all of the receipts that she paid rent. My mom said that she kept every receipt because she did not trust my aunt. My mom showed the social worker and she was FURIOUS at my aunt because she lied to the social worker and said that she was not apying any rent. It seems as though my aunt had grown attached to me and didn't want to give me up.

    After years, my aunt admitted that she wanted to keep me but I still love my aunt because she cared so much about me. It is kind of weird though! My mom is still to this day is angry at my aunt.. Not that I blame her but I want them to be friends again.
  • May 10, 2007, 10:26 AM
    templelane
    Wow I never realised this was an issue let alone cause for any legal action. My Brother and I had the same room till we were 8 and 10 with no ill consequences, and share beds (when round at relatives/in hotels) still. 18 and 20 are fine to share a room - probably not ideal because they'll want to kill each other from time to time but its definitely not a sinister situation in my book at least. Maybe we're more relaxed about this sort of thing across the pond?
  • May 14, 2007, 01:00 PM
    rosepedal
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by bugless23
    What is the legal age that boys and girls have to start sleeping in seperate bedrooms?

    I have 2 children a boy7 and a girl5. It really depends on how they have been raised and what they've been exposed to. If you give them too much time to themselves without any guidance they will explore out of boredom or curiosity. But if your very active with them and teach them how to play the right way and teach them boundaries (like your body my body) then I doubt if they'll have a problem.

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