My Autistic Son

It make you having social issues, perhaps you can get counseling along with your child

No, not a bad mother, but now it's time to pull yourself together and help your son to be the best he can be (just like you would for any child).

How severe is the autism? Autistic kids are very smart, very focused, and love animals. You need to meet with a counselor who knows autism well so you can figure out how to spin things in a positive way -- like, autistic people are usually very visual, so if you tell instructions, also print them on a paper or card (once the child can read). Autistic people don't like changes, so before you move all the furniture around in the living room, talk it over with the child and make it an adventure with him helping.

There are many things like that you can do to help you and to help your child. It definitely is not a thing to be depressed about and cry over.

I don't think you're a bad mother. You're upset, as any mother would be. You fear for your child, you worry about him, and you feel helpless because you can't fix this. Perfectly normal.

I don't know a lot about autism, and really, even those that study it, work with autistic people, they can't truly know how the autistic person feels, how they associate with others, what quality of life they have. Unless you walk a mile in someone's shoes, you can only guess.

You love your son, that much is obvious. So you do what you can for him, you get him the help that's recommended for people with autism, and you give him the support, and above all, you continue to love him as much as you do now, even if he's not able to show you that he understands that you love him, and that he loves you too.

It won't be easy, but I truly believe that those people that are given a child with special needs, are truly special people. Your son is so lucky to have you.

In light of your other thread I'm not sure where you are coming from - http://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relatio...ry-695035.html

Is your problem with your son, your boyfriend, all of you, yourself, something else?

thank you (:
very uplifting <3

its truely a blessing but also a curse.
just hope i find out more about this soon.

he goes to school now but he had speech therapy not too long ago. its mild. hes calm and collective loves trains and music. i just dont feel like i can bond with him.. i just feel helpless with him.. i do everything i can as a mother but i dont feel like im being all that i can.

believe me therapist councler, you name it ive tried. nothing makes me realize how truely scared i am for my baby as one of these people do.

ive pulled myself together and i do all of this and keep a job and attend school.. so thats not the issue.. issue is am i a bad mother for NOT being able to bond with my son?

Of course not. His brain is wired differently from yours including for emotion. Please read books by Temple Grandin or other, simpler books about how autism is. Your public library should have helpful ones.

What do you want from him? hugs and kisses? physical affection and verbal expressions like, "I love you, Mom"? You might not get that for a while. He feels it but doesn't express it. His brain doesn't work that way.

Do you understand what I've said so far?

so my son is turning 6.

for those who have read my other questions:
-its very hard for me to bond with him.
-just as hard for him to bond with others.

hes just the most spoiled child, he has the iphone, the ipad, the 3D video games down to every train set at almost every toy store.

we've kept the themes close to what he likes (trains & music)
but this upcoming birthday (6 months from now) I want him to have a good time and sleep good that night.

Some positive ideas for an autistic birthday party?

"He has" these things (at age six???) because you gave them to him.

Tell us more about his behavior so I can give you better ideas on parties. (I too have an autistic son.)

Daniel like it when we had a party at a bowling alley and the kids all got to bowl a game. (One game was all they could handle, and mostly they rolled the ball down the lane using both hands with gutter balls resulting.) We also had parties at local parks where there were swings and slides (with moms in attendance or I paid sitters to help).

Never invite more kids than the age of the child.