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Let me start from the beginning, if you dont mind. I was 15 when i met this guy, and we have been together through thick and thin, ever since. We smoked pot and played guitar together in a band. I really love him and he really loves me. We have had plans about getting married. But he is a jerk sometimes, and i have been talking to this other guy I met on the Internet while playing this online game. This other guy told me that he would treat me nicely and show me a good time, taking me out on a date to a fancy restaurant and staying in a good hotel room.
He lives kind of far away, about 12 hours, so I make his trip worthwhile, right. Well he was saying "I'm gonna come down this weekend." I told him, "No, its that time of month, it should be soon." so he said okay, ill come next week. Next week came around and i still didnt have it. I figured i just calculated wrong, because sometimes i forget what the date of my last period was. So i am waiting, it was supposed to be on the 17th of November, if I am correct, but now it is the @nd of December and still no blood.
Just as I was going to get out of an abusive relationship, I get pregnant. I dont want to be stuck with this guy; my parents hate him, and I sometimes even hate him. He smokes about 20 dollars worth of pot a day, out of my pocket, and he doesnt work. he has a GED and no college degrees. But he is attractive and funny. The other guy on the other hand, has a lot of money.
But see, it comes from a retirement check. he is 57 years old, but hes nice. No one is gonna go for me once i am pregnant or with child. i think it would be nice to live with the old fat guy, because he is infatuated with me, and the sex is great, oral-wise. He will accept my kid as his own, without a doubt. And we will be able to live comfortably. But i really love my boyfriend of 3 years. It will break his heart when he finds that i have gone away without a trace.
But that seems like the easiest thing to do. That way, my parents wont know that i have been going behid their back, seeing this guy that had bad-mouthed them in the past. They wont know that i have been having sex. Its better that they dont know. I just want whats easiest and best for my kid.
What should I do? SHould i stay in this messed up town or move to the country? Should I move somewhere with my 21 year old boyfriend, or be secure with old boyfriend?
You met this old guy on line. Do you really know him?
You're talikng abut running away with some old guy you don't know to get away from some druggie you do know and you're pregnant?
First make sure whether you're pregnant or not. If you're living at home, you're going to need to tell your parents. Either way, leave both of these guys alone.
As tough as your situation may appear there are some positives I'm hearing. It's a really good sign of progression in your life that you understand that you should not subject yourself to paying or helping for someones drug abuse. You've also identified the need for a person in your life that's stable. You need to continue your part of being responsible. The issue really isn't about a deadbeat biological boyfriend but about you finishing your obligation in this pregnancy. Please make appointments with your OB/GYN and have them send you for ultrasounds. Let the deadbeat know he is the biological father, but that you are looking for greener pastures. Maybe this will motivate him to be more responsible and grow up, however don't count on it. Go ahead with your life making the best of your situation. Love yourself and love that innocent unborn. If the older guy is reasonable and seems more responsible I encourage furthering a relationship slowly. Be careful though with online strangers, be cautious and check the guy out on every angle. Anyone that truly loves you must also accept your pregnancy in this situation, as difficult as it may seem, you can get through this. G-d bless.
Miss-V, Honesty is the best policy, you will never get ahead lying to people. So far you want to lie to the old boyfriend, the new boyfriend and your parents. Who does that leave you with? You are a big girl now, stand up and take responsibility. The child's father is entitled to know the truth. If he is not good enough to raise a child with why were you having unprotected sex with him? Also you say you love him, then you hate him, and it would break his heart. So do the right thing. You are both young and have time to get an education and good jobs. FYI, I bet the 'old fat guy' did not plan on raising a family on whatever retirement he has at age 57. Not a lot of extra money in most retirement checks.
How do you know he doesn't have an old fat wife who will put a crimp in those plans too?
The only problem I have with this is I don't think it is right to use "the old fat guy" because he is infatuated with you. What if he is no longer infatuated with you and does not want to deal with another man's child. What if he is not as nice as you think he is. A 57 years old man bedding a 18 year old girl and then being willing to take care of her is kind of weird IMO.
It may be time to really grow up and do something on your own. Your parents may help you, it will be hard, but people do raise children alone.
Let the one guy know that you are expecting, he needs to be paying some support. Your parents may even be a tremendous help to you and your baby.
But don't use someone because you find yourself in a mess.
I agree with homegirl you need to forget both these guys. It sounds like you are only interested in the other guy to run away from your problems. You might think this 57 yr old guy is okay for now but what about when you are 21 and he is 60? Then when you are 25 and he is 64? why spend time on someone that you most likely will not want to stay with when you could be meeting someone that is right for you?
There is an old song
Oh, it's sad to belong to someone else,
When the right one comes along.
Yes, it's sad to belong to someone else,
When the right one comes along.
You need to just take time out to yourself and your baby. Meet new people and find somebody that you can say you really love. Many guys are interested in a girl with a baby.
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