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My son is 42. i have always had a wonderful relationship with him, About 3 years ago he moved back to my state to start a business. I helped him I even worked for him and put my house up for his business.. He got rich and now he hates me. I never saw it coming. His phone is blocked and he will not call me mom or even speak to me. He has turned my 2 grand girls against me, They are 23 and 17. we also were very close.
People tell me that he will come back to me but he hasnt .. it has been 3 years, I am thinking of seeing a doc over this, i cant take any more and I do not understand his hate towards me.
I think there is more to this story than being let on.
The OP is very vauge and the other post by isabelle is very hard to follow.
I think you are being unfair to isabelle. She has been very clear that she doesn't understand why the turnaround. She claims that nothing happened that could have caused it.
There may, indded, be more to this. But I think isabelle will need the help of a third party to determine what that is. Either a therapists who may be able to bring out something she has supressed or didn't understand or a mediator to get the story from the son's perspective.
There may, indded, be more to this. But I think isabelle will need the help of a third party to determine what that is. Either a therapists who may be able to bring out something she has supressed or didn't understand or a mediator to get the story from the son's perspective.
I agree......she probably needs to go to a therapist to work through this situation.
I have been very sick and i took a lot of drugs ( as precribed) he wanted me to give him some.. not the first time... but i didnt have any extra.
That could not have mad him mad because he buys pain pills all the time .. it isnt like he had to have mine. when i told him no he just went kinnda crazy and left .. that was the last of it.
And no drugs are not making him act this way... he has taken pain pills for years and years.
Isabelle, I feel for your situation. I understand how hard it is to lose a child. It can be even harder losing one like you did then it is losing one to death. I am not saying it is, mind you, I am just saying that sometimes it can be.
If you read the excerpt from one of your posts above, I see a red flag. You say that he has taken pain pills for years and years. I am wondering, I do not know just wondering, if he was unable to get the pills because the doctor refused to prescribe anymore, or for some other reason. Then he came to you and you would not support his habit and he got angry.
Understand that drug abuse comes in many forms, not just illegal drugs like cocaine or marijuana. He may very well be addicted to these drugs. When you refused to support his habit he "turned" on you, which is common with drug addicts.
I am not saying that this is the problem. I just learned these behaviors during my phsychiatry rotation, of which I will be doing more in the spring.
I am happy to hear you are getting some help and that you have a strong support system with your church. That is very important.
I think Janine has really found a probable answer here. It certainly sounds like your son is abusing pain meds. Which could cause mood swings, personality changes and other things. You definitely should mention this to your therapists right up front. This may not be due to anything you have done, but to a medial problem with your son.
And that brings us to another point. Why is he taking pain meds? Do you know who is doctor is? If you do, I would have a confidential discussion with him. Don't expect the doctor to pass any info to you, but he does need to know about the personality change. It could be a medically treated condition that will restore relations.
Thank you Scott. I really was suprised that you missed that!! But it was kind of hidden in the middle.
Isabelle, as well as having a discussion with his doc, you may want to contact the local pharmacy he visits, or several in your area. Sometimes people with drug seeking behavior like this stagger their visits to pharmacies so that their addiction does not scream out loud to the pharmacist.
Again, only my opinion from what I read, but it seems as though he was out of meds and you would not enable him, so he took it out on you. This is obvious drug seeking behavior and it is unlikely that he will receive the help he needs unless his doctor or pharmacist are notified.
Scott is right, the doctor will not pass any info to you, this is doctor/patient privelege, however, the doctor will be made aware of your concerns of possible pain med addiction and personality change and will hopefully take appropriate steps in prescribing pain meds in the future.
I think you are being unfair to isabelle. She has been very clear that she doesn't understand why the turnaround. She claims that nothing happened that could have caused it.
There may, indded, be more to this. But I think isabelle will need the help of a third party to determine what that is. Either a therapists who may be able to bring out something she has supressed or didn't understand or a mediator to get the story from the son's perspective.
Thak you scott .. there are always 2 sides but I can only tell mine. I am going to a doc today to try to get some help with this.
Good for you Isabelle.... glad to hear you are getting some help for yourself. Now, don't forget to mention this to the doc. He may have some advice we are not thinking of.
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