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Beach Ladybug · Jan 31, 2008, 09:56 PM

My 24 year old daughter has not spoken to me since June 2007. This is due to her current boyfriend, that I told him to move out of the home that we all were sharing. Of course my daughter left with him. She has not spoken to me since this. She is my only daughter and we were always close and had been through many ups & downs, I have always been there for her. I am very hurt over this, and find it hard to sleep at nights.
My question as you have probably guessed by now, how long is she going to hold this grudge? I know the boyfriend is over shadowing her, but I thought that blood is thicker then water. :(

simoneaugie · Jan 31, 2008, 10:57 PM

This will pass, eventually. I'm sure you miss her though. Part of being a loving mom is letting your children go, regardless of the circumstances. Get on with your own life and move forward. She will do what she will do. Sad though it is, you can't make her into what you want.

twinkiedooter · Feb 1, 2008, 07:17 PM

My sister didn't speak to my mother for many years due to nothing my mother did to her. Eventually she did communicate with my mother, but it did take many years.

Stop beating yourself up over the fact you two haven't spoken. You can never figure out what is going on inside another person's head. Right now she's in loveland and not mother/daughter land. If the boyfriend is controlling type, then he's going to keep her from seeing you. You'll just have to cut the apron strings with her sometime. Too bad it was under those circumstances.

She'll come around. Just give her time. Yes, blood is thicker than water, but sometimes it takes some people a bit more time to figure that out.

Fr_Chuck · Feb 1, 2008, 07:47 PM

It can go for years, it is hard to say, but you can't allow her to black mail you into things

Milly61 · Feb 6, 2008, 07:03 AM

Give it some time to heal. In time things will progress to the better. Keep trying to invite her to things that you and her and her boyfriend can do. Try to talk to both if you can.

sadforthem070707 · Mar 17, 2008, 09:28 PM

Hi Beach Ladybug,
I definitely feel your pain. My daughter is 19, almost 9 mts pregnant and living in a motel room with her almost 31 year old boyfriend. She and I have had a rocky relationship since I divorced her dad when she was 17 but things was going good and like your daughter, I know the boyfriend is influencing her. I hope to God yours and my daughter will come to their senses really soon because my heart aches as well as I know yours is.
Good luck

Beach Ladybug · Apr 4, 2008, 07:35 PM

I want to thank everyone for the support and kind advice, it really means so much to me. My daughter still refuses to speak to me, it is now 10 months. My heart aches so badly. I now am so depressed over this uncalled for silences, at times I think if I die tomorrow, how will my daughter feel? I raised a kind and caring girl, she turned 24 on December 26th, " my Christmas gift" It all has to do with the man she now lives with for the past 2 1/2 years. He's 10 yrs. Older then her, we had a major blow up now I've lost my only daughter. I could understand this all if I was a bad parent or I abused or mistreated her, I have always supported her through good, bad and really really bad!!

sadforthem070707 · Apr 4, 2008, 10:25 PM

:( Hi, well my heart is broken even more. I found out today my daughter had her baby on Friday... a baby girl, 6lbs. 19 inches... and she went into the hospital under an alias so I couldn't find out or see her baby. My heart dies a little more every day. I sometimes wonder why I even bother to take my next breathe. Sometimes I wonder if I just want to end it all... the pain is getting to be too much to bear.:(

Beach Ladybug · Apr 4, 2008, 11:00 PM

Dear Sadforthem,
I am sorry that your daughter did not include her mother, in the birth of YOUR Grandchild. Please stay strong, and remember you have been blessed, to be a Mother and now you are a Grandmother! I do not know why Mothers must endure so much pain ? Just remember to breath in and out

N0help4u · Apr 5, 2008, 08:57 AM

I think the only thing you really can do is try and find a way to explain to her that you do not want to have this 'distance' between the two of you. That you accept that she is going to be with him but your problem was that you didn't want it to be in YOUR house, but they were. I can see her picking him over you IF you had made a big stink about him and they had not been living in your house. You need to make that as the distinction to her and tell her you support her in whoever she wants to be with and didn't mean for it to cause a separation in your closeness.