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hi, I have a 3 1/2 year old son, and he still does not speak. He says "no", "dop" (for stop). and "ow". Nothing else. He has never said mama or daddy or anything else.
He understands everything we say to him. He follows instructions (i.e. "put it on the table" or "throw it in the trash"), but he will not respond verbally. He asks for things by pointing or saying "um tee".
I have tried not giving him what he wants unless he says the words, but he simply gets angry and refuses to say anything. He is stubborn enough to decide that he no longer wants anything if he has to say it! I am having a great deal of difficulty potty training him because of this lack of speech. Please, does anyone have any ideas? Thanks!
I would try reading books every night and leaving tapes on while your child sleeps
I would follow through and not give him unless he tries to talk (even a small effort)
I would praise him - positive goes a long way
I would recommend speaking to a speech therapist and the health department, my guess is the speech could be delayed and as a result potty training is a challenge.
Remember children all learn at their own stage - be patient and loving.
Another thing I want to ask that just hit me like a ton of bricks.
Did you baby talk to him as an infant? Some babies who are baby talked to tend to speak like this as they grow.
For instance a friend of mine would say NAKE to her daughter instead of SNAKE or SHROG instead of FROG. This girl needed speech therapy. Children learn to speak from what they hear, so you may need to speak loudly and clearly. Do what Teaching said, remain firm and strong and don't give in until he says what you ask him to say. In the meantime, make an appointment with your pediatrician for a hearing and a speech test.
Hi there,
Thanks for answering so quickly!
I have tried the not giving in until he speaks, and he either 1. has a meltdown and refuses to speak, 2. decides he doesn't want ___ anymore, or 3. goes about getting __ on his own.
I recently tried this with water. He brought me some bottled water and wanted me to open it. I said "open?" and he nodded. I told him "Say open." and he instantly began to cry. I told him that I needed him to tell me what he wanted or I couldn't do it. I opened the water and took and drink and said , "mmmm. Good water! Do you want some? Say water." Still didn't work. I was told to be consistent and not give in to him until he tried to say it, but he stormed away and would not try. Next thing I knew, he was trying to get water himself - from the toilet! I asked him to say water again to no avail. I finally gave in and gave him the water because I didn't know what else to do.
I also try to read to him. He wants to look at the pictures, and will point at objects in the pictures. However, when I respond to his pointing by saying "horse" or "boy", etc, he gets upset and flings the book onto the floor. If I try to read, he takes the book away from me and puts it away and says "no". He seems to dislike it.
His hearing has been tested, and there are no problems. I've been told that he simply doesn't want to speak. I don't know what to do to help him.
Another thing I want to ask that just hit me like a ton of bricks.
Did you baby talk to him as an infant? Some babies who are baby talked to tend to speak like this as they grow.
For instance a friend of mine would say NAKE to her daughter instead of SNAKE or SHROG instead of FROG. This girl needed speech therapy. Children learn to speak from what they hear, so you may need to speak loudly and clearly. Do what Teaching said, remain firm and strong and don't give in until he says what you ask him to say. In the meantime, make an appointment with your pediatrician for a hearing and a speech test.
I did use the typical "babytalk" lilt in my speech with him as a baby, but never to this extent. I speak to him as if I expect an answer. I ask questions and tell him about our surroundings, etc. He has become quite adept at physical signals to indicate what he wants/doesn't want. I have taken him to visit with a speech therapist, who had no success. His hearing is very good, and he has passed testing.
You may need to take this up with your pediatrician. Has he been tested for any form of autism, such as Aspergers Syndrome?
He is not autistic, that much has been cleared up. He is very affectionate and social in every way imaginable that doesn't include speech. He adores people, maintains eye contact, has no "ticks" or repetitive actions. He is up to speed on just about everything, and his fine motor skills are beyond his age level. However, I was given a tentative "suspected" diagnosis with Asperger's as a child. I don't know if it's possible to inherit such a disorder or not. His pediatricians up to this point have simply referred me to speech therapy. At this point, it looks as though continued effort and time will tell. I do appreciate the tips, very much. Thank you.
Hmmm, let us think on this. He sounds very stubborn, not to sound mean, but by this I mean he is a strong willed boy.
Are there other stressors going on in his life?
No offense taken! He is indeed VERY strong-willed, and always has been. There doesn't seem to be any palpable stressors in his life. He has a fairly consistent schedule, sleeps and eats well (and healthfully). I do worry that he may need more social interaction with children his age. We moved in the last year (whether or not this is having a current affect on him, I'm not sure), and he has not had much exposure to children the same age.
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