MY 19 Year old daughter

I am so sorry for all of your trouble! But you and your husband need to lay the law down and take back over your house before it causes problems between you two. I would lay the new laws down for her and if she did not like them she could pack up and leave right then. But as long as she was living in my house and under my roof she would obey me and respect my house. PLEASE for the sake of yourself and husband do this and stick to it. You deserve to live a happy life and not put up with it. She is a grown up now and time for her to face it! Listen or Get out! NO IF'S, AND'S, OR BUT'S ABOUT ANYTHING! GOOD LUCK AND LET ME KNOW HOW IT WORKS OUT!

We've tried to lay down the law to her and she gets us into a fight about something else. I'm thinking of typing up a document and putting all this in there. That way she can't fight with it. This has really ruined my husband and I's relationship. I try not to let it bother me but there are some many times when I get upset and cry. I just want to get her on the right road BEFORE it's too late. THanks Debi

Debi the best thing you can do is make her get out. She will have to grow up and you can get back to having a life with your husband. PLEASE DO THIS FOR YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND!

How do I go about doing this legally?

Since she in not paying rent to you, she is not a tenant with tenant rights. You have given her until Sepatember 1st. That is very, almost too very, generous of you and your husband. It is not June yet. I would give her until June 30th. Then stick to it. Move her things out - in the garage if you have to. Change the locks. Do not pay for her insurance or her cell phone.

You can put all this down in writing and give a notarized copy and keep one for yourself. I would stop cleaning up after her today. Do not allow her to use your laundry room. If you have to, get locks for rooms you do not want her in - like your bedroom.

It sounds very harsh and unpleasant. It is too. But adult life is harsh and unpleasant many times. We all have been in some places and times that were less than the best ever. If she starts yelling at you or your husband, call the police. Have them come and take her out. My parents had to do that with my oldest brother. It was a wake up call for him. Your daughter needs a wake up call.

To be very honest, I do not even know why you would need to give her 30 days to get out. Your life is hell now and she is the root of it. Call your local police or sheriff's department. They deal with this kind of situation all the time.

Good luck to you and your husband.

I completely agree with shy. It's time to get tough, she has had her fair amount of warnings, obviously she is not going to change. You two have done above and beyond what parents should do and its you show her tough love. Do what shy said above, good luck!

Thank you for all your support. I guess I knew in my heart this was what we needed to do but now I am convinced. I know it will be the hardest thing I have ever done but I pray it will turn out right. Thank you.

Seriously it sounds like she is begging for a push from you to do something with her life... Sometimes you have to force her.... So make her go back to school or take all of her belongings while she's out of the house one day and pack them up and throw them on the front lawn... Change the locks and hope for the best...

If I was doing what she is doing then I would want you to do that to me....

Maybe it's true. One reason we haven't really pushed her is because when she went to Orlando she said the reason she didn't finsih was because it was something she didn't want to do. According to her, we pushed her. After that I said never again.

I've worked on a contract and want your opinions on it. It's below:


In order to continue living in this residence, there are certain responsibilities that you must uphold. In the event that you make a choice not to comply with this contract then we will ask you to leave. In the event that you do not leave, we will request assistance from the police department to assist us. Once you leave, the only way you are welcome to come back is to accept and comply with these responsibilities. If you come back before you are ready to comply with these requirements, we will notify the authorities that you have trespassed on our property.

RESPONSIBILITIES:

1. Keep and maintain your room in a clean and orderly fashion. This is to include:
A. Keeping your floor and bed picked up
B. Do you laundry at least once a week
C. Do not let towels accumulate in your room resulting in odors
D. If you have too much clutter and clothes in your room, you will need to declutter.

2. Clean your bathroom after each use
3. Laundry: When you use the washer and dryer, ensure that you complete the cycle of washing, drying and putting away clothes. Do not throw other people's clothes on the floor.
4. Do not overload the washer or dryer.
5. Empty your pockets of all items before you put them in the washer and dryer. In the event that something is missed, when you hear it in the washer/dryer remove it.
6. Maintain the washer/dryer as if it were your own.
7. Be respectful of my and your fathers property. If you need something, ASK. Do not assume that it is yours for the taking.
8. Pick up and clean up after yourself, whether it is in the kitchen, bathroom or any common area.
9. Stay out of my and your fathers room. Once again, if you need something out of our bedroom ASK
10. If money is in any containers, it is NOT YOURS for the taking.
11. When you use something, replace it (i.e. Batteries). Do not remove batteries from our items for your use.
12. There will be no illegal substances brought into our house, including the garage and driveway. This includes beer and any other substances and it does not matter if it is not yours. Once it is in your possesssion, it is considered yours.
13. You are not allowed to have any one over when we are not at home. Additionally, just because something is in the house, it does not mean it is yours for the taking. ASK before you take something.
14. Respect in actions, words and tone, your father and myself.
15. Do not sleep in my living room on the couch. You have a bed in your room.
16. Answer your cell phone when we call or if you can't answer, call us back promptly.
17. If you are going to stay out all night, fine, just let us know for your safety.

This is your home as long as you want to be a productive member of this family. There will be times that you will be asked to do things that are not included in this contract. In return for your residency, insurance for your truck and cell phone, you should do these requests.

We do love you very much but we can not live the way that we are living now. This has to change. We don't ask a lot of you, but you will need to comply with the above in order to continue living in this house. The choice is yours.

If you sign this contract, this is binding.

If the event, that you sign this document and do not comply, you will be asked to leave our house.


Please give me your thoughts....Thanks Debi