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I'm Ariel and am 16 years old. I have had depression for about 7 years starting around the time my parents were getting a divorce. My mother took me and my 3 other sisters to a Phsyciatrist for about a year then took us out for awhile then took me back in all within 2 years. I have been very strong about not going over the edge but I feel like I shouldn't have to live this way. I space out all the time, it takes me a long time just to get my home work done, I feel like i am wasting my time in one spot when i just want to get out but i'm not aloud, had a few thoughts of dying, and my fears get in the way of the things I really want in life. I have asked my mom to take me back but she won't because she doesn't want to deal with it (they told her that she was basically crazy and was unhealthy to my sisters and I mental health).
What i want to know is how severe i have it and how to get the life i want. And i can't just drive to a doctor because I am not aloud to drive nor have I taken the class(my mom has made sure of that).
Ariel, Hello sweetie, I'm Cindy. Any length of time is too long to be depressed. What about other relatives? Any one you feel comfortable talking with? How about school? Does your school have a counsler? Doesn't sound like you have much support at home. I'm sorry to hear of your troubles. Get back with me if you would like to talk to someone. I don't have a PHD but I'm a good listener. God Bless!
Ariel, you remind me of myself at your age. I knew I had a problem, but my mom wouldn't do anything to help me. (And I couldn't take driving class either.) I had even tried to commit suicide and her response was to fill me full of dry mustard (to make me vomit) and wouldn't take me to the ER because it was too embarrassing for her. My mom was the one with the problem - she was bipolar, very depressed, neurotic, and had some hallucinations. My dad was sick and didn't ever step in to help me out.
There are resources available but you need to find out where they are. Like Cindy said, check at school or a teen center. You do have to be careful that you do this without your mom or she could sabotage it. She will try. You have to hang on until you are old enough to get out on your own. You WILL survive. I did, and my experience with her has made me a better person, a good mother and a compassionate human being. Don't let this make you bitter - let it make you better!
BTW - I am on anti-depressants myself and they make a difference. You can send me a message if you want to talk.
I signed up just so I can respond to your question. I know you sent this last year in August and I hope that you are doing okay and will get this. First, let me say you are doing the right thing by reaching out for help. Always, always do this. There are a lot of good people out here that will be happy to give you positive advice and who have been where you are. Know that you are not alone. God loves you and would not want you to take your life. Prayer can do so much. Believe me, I know how good God is and if you pray to him and ask for an answer, guidance, and the strength you need to get through the hard times, he will give it to you. Never be afraid to cry. Crying will allow you to release some of the depression. If you need privacy, go in the bathroom and turn on the water to do this. You'll feel much better a few minutes later.
Now, let me inform you that a lot of children of divorce parents have it rough. It's a hard transition to make and parents are usually so caught up in their own troubles and depression that they don't realize how it's effecting their chid(ren). It's okay sweety. I always told myself when things got bad, that it can only get better. I know so many depressed people which included me and my oldest sister. We went though it with my mother. She was depressed, in poverty, raising three girls on her own, working all the time, and alone. She took a lot out on us, still do while we are adults, but we learned to get through it and how to deal with her now. My oldest sister moved to live with my dad which left me alone with my mom My little sister was too young to realize anything, so she was okay growing up. I put all of my focus into my school work. I would do my assignments and read ahead to be prepared for the next assignment. In turn, my grades were excellent and I was focused on something other than what was going on at home. I also watched television shows that I felt good about. These are little things you can do right there at home. I always kept in mind the fact that at 16, 18 was right around the corner. I found a job close to home and began working the weekends (Friday, Saturday, and Sunday). When my mother refused to take me to work, I could catch one bus there and someone at work going my way or my boyfriend would take me home. This allowed me to earn my own money so that I could save for a car, I paid for my own school lunch, my own clothes and my mother had her hand out for the other half of my paycheck. It was hard, I'll admit, but God will get you through it. Get good grades like others I know who were in similar situations and pull yourself out of that life. Get a full academic scholarship or even a partial scholarship and go away to college. You can even work on campus through the work-study program since you are already there. That way you won't have to worry about transportation to a job. Hold on to that and it will get you through.
If you ever find yourself depressed, there are ways to pull yourself out of it. Go outside for a walk and enjoy the air. Read a good book that will take your mind somewhere else. Write a diary that you keep in a safe private place and write about your dreams and future plans.
If you ever feel that your depression is impossible to deal with, do go to a teacher you feel comfortable with. Explain your home situation and how your mother is denying or refusing to help (this way they won't call her about your situation). Never let anyone steal your joy. Your joy belongs to you. That misery belongs to your parents. They may have already stolen some of your happiness and they may even continue to try. Be strong and hold on. You can do it. I have faith that you can.
I am always online studying, so feel free to contact me if you need a friend. I'll keep you in my prayers. Be strong, be confident, take back your dreams, and live for you.
You sound just like me when I was your age. I was depressed for my whole life until age 40 when I was diagnosed with dysthymia. It is a chemical thing. Since I've been on anti-depressants, I am much better. I am SO SORRY that your mom does not recognize this as a real condition. Just hang in there and when you are capable of getting help for yourself, do it. Until then, I wish you peace, power, and know that you will win out over this. I'm sending you my best wishes.
Hey...just some information. You are 16 years old? In Canada you only have to be 12 years old to seek help yourself. Confidentiality is maintained. If you are over 14 years old, you can seek confidential medical help. In most places you can seek help yourself at the age of 16...so...there are usually community clinics and programs (funded by the government in Canada..eg. Ministry of Child and Youth Services) that you can totally access for free. Also, if you feel that your medical needs are not being met and this a major conern that is affecting your overall health and well being, you can seek support to access services through your local Children's Aid Society or FACS (Family and Child Services).
If you want help...get it....
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