I sleep alot, i dont call friends back most of the time, i hate how i look, who i am, etc.... This sounds stupid but i have planned how im gonna die. Either in war or at age 60 by heart failure .


Im not sure if this is depression or suicidal, or neither? how do you know?

I never cry though or anything. That would make me feel even worse if i did cry because then i wouldn't be a man. I am mad alot but i found a way to help this. I love breaking things and that helps alot. I just get a hammer and go into the forest and break random things.

nickigomez1989

i think i get what you mean

dont be scared you cant worry .. about how are going to die
right now people never ..know. ..

So dont worry .. !! [[: okay i mean ask me anything ill give an answer hopefuilly that can help

GlindaofOz

At your age its fairly common to suffer from some mild depression. I know how you feel about talking to your parents about medical problems so maybe when school gets back in session you go sit down with the counselor and see what sort of help they can provide.

macksmom

Sounds like depression...many teens go through it....sometimes it goes away, sometimes it is a lifelong problem and is handled with medication.

Seeing a counselor as Glinda suggested would be helpful too.

As far as wondering if you are suicidal....umm you definately shoud know....suicidal is you have thought about killing yourself and think you may acutally carry out those thoughts.

Depression can lead to suicidal thoughts and possible attempts....mine did, at 14. So try and get the depression handled.

retsoksirhc

I think you're referring to what you said about planning your death, when you say suicidal. I don't think you are, because if you are, then I am too. I decided a few years ago that I want to die of a heart attack. I don't want it to hurt a lot, like a stabbing or anything, but I don't want it to be painless either. If I have a heart attack, I'll be able to make a few last words, and at least know that I'm going. The original plan was around 45, because I didn't want to be old and senile, but I think around 65 or 70 would be better...I want to retire for a while.

I think it's pretty normal to hate how you look. With all the stereotypes and emphasis on looks today, I doubt anyone in high school likes how they look. My advice? Neat and clean. Your imperfections in how you look are what make you look like...you. (Sorry that sentences said YOU so much.) I think the reason most people don't like how they look is that they are insecure about how others see them. If someone decides they don't like you based solely on looks, then they probably wouldn't really be a good friend anyways.

As for smashing things, I can think of a few other good ways to take out aggression I don't know why people say violent video games are a bad influence. I'd rather pick up a copy of Unreal Tournament and blast away things that don't really exist, then pick up a gun and shoot a coworker.

sGt HarDKorE

Video games work good too but i love seeing like a toy get smashed or something seems interesting.

And i have thought about killing myself, like running infront of a car that is about to pass but i didnt do it. i get so close, i take a step but its not a big step.

retsoksirhc

Well, that does sound suicidal. Out of curiosity, what would be your reason for doing that? I feel that any type of suicidal tendancies which come out of depression are just a sympton of that depression. Somtimes you just feel like there isn't anything here for you, and wonder why you should stick around. For me, it's because other's might depend on me, now, or in the future. I try to help others as much as I can, it gives me a sense of purpose.

sGt HarDKorE

well i feel like im going to either rot in the ground or go to hell so i figure what is the point of working and feeling stress,hatred,etc...?

cal823

hey! crying doesnt make you any less a man.
i honestly wish i could cry! because i know, i dunno why, but i know i need to cry for everything to be let out, but i cant.
ive planned how i wanna die too, ive dreamed about me suiciding because of a chick i adored dying, ive dreamed about the end of the world and me dying, ive planned my last days on earth, what i say to my friends, who i talk to, what i do in my final moments, what i will write, who i will trust to deliver the letters to all the right people.
ive often contemplated od'ing on panadol, because i know it is a painful way to go.
i used to contemplate killing myself with a cheese grater, slowly, and i used to cut myself.

im a christian. god has saved me, and he can save you too, hes been just this amazing saving grace, whenever i sink into depression, id just have to wait till im worshipping in church, and my joy would return, just like that. i can laugh again! i smile, i feel good about myself. and know, partly thanks to the people on this sight, partly due to god, i feel like maybe, im worthy of being loved. like i deserve to live, to succeed and to enjoy life.


dont suicide! you have so much to live for! you must go on! you must! there are so many people out there whos lives will be diminished if they dont meet you! so many people to love, to help, to heal, to laugh with, to befriend! many lives will be diminished if you kill yourself! you have so many great works ahead of you! god has so much in store for you, whether you believe in him or not, he loves you, and you can have a great life! you can be joyous and sucessful, a great man, and you can walk into a room oneday, and everyones heads will turn, and take notice!
hold your head up high, back straight, and look people in the eyes..
well, thats the end of my rant......thank you for listening

retsoksirhc

If you think you're going to rot in the ground or go to hell, why would you want to make it happen sooner? Personally, I think I'm going to be burried and decompose. I don't know if there's an afterlife, but I'm not betting on it. Once you die, you've got either as long as the earth is around for your body to rot, or an eternity to spend in the afterlife. You've only been here for 15 years, and with the current life expectancy, I'd say you have at least another 45 (being that depression can contribute to shorter life expectancy). It may be stressful and boring, but if you're sitting in heaven or hell for 20,000, I bet you'll be talking to someone saying "Man, remember when you were alive on earth? Good times, good times..."

Besides, think of the things you'll miss! 40 years ago, computers barely existed. Now we can compose music from our livingroom and shoot video across the world in real time. We keep building on what we already have...who knows what we'll get in the next 40?

Cheer up =D