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My daughter ( 20 years old )has managed to steal thousands of dollars in cash I had locked in a safe. She promised that it would never happen again, and she would repay it. That was five months ago and now I just discovered she has take a book of my checks and written checks for thousands more. The amount is close to 15,000 dollars. Her mother and I both love her but are at a loss as to what we should do. Any help would be appreciated. Thank You.
I'm 18 and if I were this girl and my parents sent me to jail, yes I'd be angry, but I know they'd have every right to do so. 15,000! This girl needs some tough love. How could anyone steal so much money from someone that they love and has supported her all her life?
I don't know... It's normal for teens to steal...but at that age...AND FROM HER OWN PARENTS?! I know you may think she's too old to be punished, but you're still her parents and it's your responcibility to take care of the issue. Either be harsh on her or turn her in to the authorities, or she'll continue to do this to you and may even begin to do it to others who wont be as merciful as you.
it's NORMAL for teens to steal? ...since...when?!? I never stole when I was a teen. Even then, it's not ok to steal simply because it's "normal"
If she took $20 out of your purse, that's one thing. If she took 15,000...that's another. In fact, I believe that's a felony. I have to agree with fr_chuck on this one. just talking to her won't do jack...she's 20, which means she's fully capable of understanding that this is wrong. Will she hate you if you send her to jail? Most likely...but really, who the heck is she to blame for that?
If my parents found me taking...maybe $1000 from them...I'd either end up in jail or...actually, my parents think the jail system is crap. I'd end up as a lump in their backyard.
it's NORMAL for teens to steal? ...since...when?!? I never stole when I was a teen. Even then, it's not ok to steal simply because it's "normal"
If she took $20 out of your purse, that's one thing. If she took 15,000...that's another. In fact, I believe that's a felony. I have to agree with fr_chuck on this one. just talking to her won't do jack...she's 20, which means she's fully capable of understanding that this is wrong. Will she hate you if you send her to jail? Most likely...but really, who the heck is she to blame for that?
If my parents found me taking...maybe $1000 from them...I'd either end up in jail or...actually, my parents think the jail system is crap. I'd end up as a lump in their backyard.
Perhaps normal wasnt a good choice of words...Common? Yes, stealing is wrong, but that doesn't mean it doesnt happen. And I said she deserves to be punished. I'd tell the police.
There is a large difference between taking the change off the counter or 20 dollars from dads wallet ( which still is not normal, but happens still at times) but this is grand theft a major felony, it is stealing 1000's of dollars. The person doing this is a hard core criminal or they have serious mental issues not knowing right from wrong. A person who steals this much needs to be in jail like the criminal they are.
As much as an intervention would be great - this girl has blown way past an intervention. She needs to be arrested and plopped in jail and do some heavy thinking in jail. I disagree that jail does not do anyone any good. I think it DOES do a person a lot of good. It makes them think as there is virtually nothing else to do in jail except think. The fact that the parents are out of this money I feel sorry for them BUT letting daughter skip on down the road thinking that she can take whatever she wants from whoever she wants and not have to fess up to her crime(s) is not right. We cannot let criminals keep doing the same things over and over again without being punished. Sorry. The world does not work that way. Her parents need to decide to have her daughter punished by the authorities.
I once knew a girl who did the exact same thing - take a checkbook from her own parents and write thousands of dollars worth of checks (and yes, it was for drugs for her and her boyfriend). Well, she served about a year in jail. During the whole time she was in county jail her two parents and brothers and sisters came and visited her every visiting day!! It gave the daughter a different respect for her parents and what they taught her by not letting her get away with her crime. They were very well off financially and didn't really miss $20K (can't imagine being that rich to not miss 20K) but anyway, it was not easy for the entire family to go through this but they did. Now their daughter has changed her life around completely and resumed going to college and is now holding a good job some 5 years later.
Getting back to your daughter. By not pressing charges you are just sending a wrong signal to her that you will put up with anything she can dish out or dream up to pull on you or the rest of the world. Time to give her a slice of reality and how to be a real person in an adult world.
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