[lollipopgirl83]

PLEASE can somebody help me!!
I am 23 years old and as long as I can remember I have always been the same. I have negative thoughts all the time, I can never see the good in anything! I am always really really tired and have no energy. I am not working at the moment and the thought of getting a job scares me so much! I just think how tired I am now and can't imagine being able to cope!! I always have tense muscles. I cannot concentrate on anything and find it really hard to have a conversation as I am constantly thinking that I look/sound stupid to them. I am a very very jealous person and can be really demanding. I lose my temper so easily. I know that all these things are symptoms of anxiety. Its really getting me down, I feel like I am going crazy, its taking over my life.
I moved to Mallorca, Spain about a year ago as my boyfriend lives here. Since then I feel like I am just getting worse and worse. I have no friends, I am trying to learn spanish but seem to be getting nowhere. I would rather stay at home than go anywhere because if I have to go somewhere I feel so overwhelmed. I really want to see a doctor and talk over my options but I cannot go to a doctor here as I don't speak spanish!! I feel stuck.
I am constantly looking on the internet at what I can do and everyone says the best thing is counseling, but like I said I am not working and have no money and I live in a country where I cannot speak the language.
Please can someone help me. I just don't know what to do. I feel so alone. I have no one to talk to just my boyfriend and Im sure he must be tired of listening to me whinging all the time. I can't live like this anymore. Please can someone tell me what to do.

[mrscoltweaver]

Is there an American Embassy in Spain that you could go to? Is there not any way someone could get you home to the U.S. You need to concentrate on getting yourself better-the relationship will be there if that is God's plan when you ARE better. What about family members? Be truly honest with them in you inquiries on trying to get home and seeking help.
If you go to a hospital, there should be an interpretor available and someone who can help if you have no finances available.

[lollipopgirl83]

Hi. I am actually from the UK. If I went to a doctor here my boyfriend could translate for me as he is spanish but I feel like I want to tell someone myself so they the full picture.
There are many english people living but I do not get chance to meet anyone as I never go out. I find it so hard to make friends anyway, I'm so shy.
I don't want to go home, my mum recently lost her mum and dad my grandparents and she is under enough stress as it is, I don't want to make her feel worse. I have tried telling her how I feel but I don't think she understands how serious it is.

[mrscoltweaver]

Maybe you are not giving your mom enough credit-you are her child, after all. You do not need your boyfriend to interpret-this is too personal. Since your grandparents passed, your mom may need YOU!
Most mothers would walk through fire for their children-I know I would.