Please would you kindly advise us on how we can help our cats get along together?

My sister and I are proud owners of two adorable cats: my sister’s cat is a feisty female, 4 year old rescue cat long haired tortoise-shell, named Duchess.

My cat is an 11 year old British Shorthair lilac male who is docile, quiet and very good natured: his name is Niles.

7 weeks ago I have now moved back into the family home with Niles and we realised it would be hard for Duchess and Niles to get on in the beginning. We introduced Niles gradually by the use of a pen as recommended from our friends.

However we are worried, after seven weeks, meetings between Duchess and Niles are still unhappy and hostile with the aggression mainly coming from Duchess. Niles occasionally chases Duchess. We realise how territorial cats are in general and Duchess is particularly upset because she has always been the resident cat.

Would matters change for the better do you think if we moved house so that both cats could start afresh from scratch?

Please would you kindly advise us on what we can do please?

Best Regards

tinsign

Give it time, they will eventually learn how to co-exist . Might have a few cat fights but they will eventually start to except eachother.

louisecoe

Thank you for answering, I'll be patient

Best Wishes

Louise

louisecoe

Hello Fellow Cat Lovers,

I have just moved back home with my eleven year old neutered male British shorthair cat named Niles, to be with my elderly father, sister and sister Helen’s cat called Duchess.

Duchess is a small, female, long-haired tortoiseshell, rescue cat of a nervous disposition who is almost four year’s old: she lost her kittens to being mauled by gypsies. Before Helen adopted Duchess she was spayed but immediately caught feline influenza and nearly died. Duchess has been the only cat living in the family home and has lived there, straight from the cat sanctuary, for two years. Apart from the horrific death of her kittens Duchess was cruelly housed in a caravan and left to the mercy of a tom cat (hence the kittens). All in all a truly terrible beginning.

My cat Niles on the other hand always enjoyed a very happy and loved kittenhood. He is placid and with a sweet nature and although when he lived with me in my flat had no garden, we more than made up for this loss with much feline entertainment and visits to the family-home garden at weekends on a lead.

Helen and I were apprehensive about introducing Niles and Duchess realizing how territorial cats are. We took much advice and time in introducing the cats to each other and used a large pen in the house.

Duchess displayed great vocal displeasure at Niles in the usual ways, but we persisted and supervised all meetings. We were advised we were embarking on a lengthy process which could even take years though we were not discouraged as we do own a huge house and garden and have the time, patience and love to encourage a good outcome.

After two months we felt we could let Niles and Duchess out into the garden but this was a great mistake as Niles sought out and chased Duchess who became traumatized.

What we noticed was that Niles’ behaviour changed when he saw Duchess. Where he was interested generally in the garden, wildlife, neighbours etc he was fixed on chasing Duchess until she either escaped or lay on her back which looked like in the surrender position.

Duchess, after that first very bad incident, showed the following negative signs:-

Feverishness (reminiscent of the beginnings of influenza)
Loss of appetite
Lethargy and depression
Adopting the “submission” position when overwhelmed by Niles

Our first question, then, please, is this:-

Helen and I have devised a two-hour timetable so that each cat has two hour’s freedom throughout the day. Is this the right thing to do or is it cruel? Certainly Helen has reported positive feedback since the schedule began a few days ago: Duchess seems better and her appetite has returned.

The other question is this:-

Do you think there could ever be a day when Niles might stop chasing Duchess: this seems to be the basic problem and might Duchess accept Niles as a friend instead of a creature to be frightened of?

One last thing: Helen is of the opinion that a contributory factor could be the great difference in size of the two cats, what do you think?

Your expert advice is of paramount importance to us and we eagerly look forward to your kind reply.

With best wishes

Louise

BrianBullard

Hi, we have dealt with the same and I feel I can help you with some info.

Our background: Dusty, m, 13, Maus, f, 12, Niles, m, 11. Maus and Niles lived with me, Dusty came to us when I married in 04.

First, have two separate litter boxes. We have dealt with the "problem" since October 2004 and didn't figure this out until January of 2006, when we moved and set out two boxes.

Next, have separate feeding stations, preferably rooms away from each other in distance.

Let each cat enjoy their usual favorite place or activity. If they like a certain chair, let them have it, and if the other cat interferes then tell it "no" and remove it.

Please understand the "pecking order" that is taking place with the cats. They are trying to establish their own rules in their society by oberving one another, testing, displaying submission, etc. They need time around each other to learn this and there will be "mistakes", when this happens separate them physically, a few feet apart, and let them continue on.

Moving: it helped our problem a bit, but didn't solve it...separate litter boxes are more important.

Reward each cat, pet it and brush it and give it plenty of attention as usual...of course!

So far, although your female is the "house" cat she is much younger and that seems to be the deciding factor for her submission. She is learning how to interact with the older male but on her own territory so this is unusual for her. He seems to sense her inexperience and keeps a constant eye (as in the garden) waiting for the signal that she will be submissive, and she was. That is a good thing.

I suggest you let them socialize and practice the above tips. The sooner it happens the quicker the order is established and they will like that. Eventually, like our cats, they will either learn how to avoid each other or better yet they will team up and clean each other's heads, lol.

One more thing: you mentioned some symptoms with the female. It is natural for the cat to seem depressed during this stage. However, if she ever has a runny nose, coughing, severe loss in appetite, etc. never underestimate this as these can be the symptoms of serious diseases. A simple blood test and exam is the best thing anyone can give a kitty.

Good luck with your "kids"

mrscoltweaver

All above advice is great. I need to ask, is Niles neutered? If not, do so quickly. Dominance has to be established in any setting with all animals. Separating them only prolongs the inevitable. Your female is showing that she does not need to be the leader so I suggest behavior modification medication for Niles-there are not any harmful side effects and he does not have to stay on them forever. Contact a veterinarian to discuss what options are available. Size has nothing to do with their behavior. One final tidbit of information: when introducing new cats in a household there is usually one week of hissing and growling, one week of ignoring each other, one week of tolerance and finally companionship. Niles is an unusual case and a vet should be consulted. Good luck!

im1brwfn

Friend is still going through this issue with a new cat in the house after almost a year. Both cats want to be alpha even though she too has a fixed male and fixed female.

dara8108

invest in a water gun. this is the best training tool ever. i had a roomie and he had a male cat (who i ended up keeping) and my 8 yr old inside female. neiko, my girl ... did not like it one bit. and would hiss hiss hiss hiss ... 2 litter boxes, great advice. seperate eating times, also good advice. lil man would be outside and i would feed neiko, once she was full i would make sure he had food.. or just feed him outside. as far as the water gun.... if they are around each other it will be naturual for the male to dominate over the female.. but also the older one will put the fear in their eye ... my baby girl has done it to lil man.... but if they get into a long brawl, squirt the most agressive one with the gun first to break it up ... then make sure with fairness you squirt the other one and let them know that was wrong.... its worked for me with 3 cats and a dog ... best of luck