The barbell is huge for a reason hun -- it needs to be big to allow room for swelling. You need to leave that barbell in for 6 weeks.
As far as how much swelling there is, that is completely normal. Everyone that gets their tongue pierced has to go through that swelling. You can take Ibuprofen for pain and/or swelling. It definitely helps a lot. You can also suck on ice and popsicles (not ice cream!) and this will help with the swelling as well. As far as food, do not eat spicy foods, chocolate or dairy. These foods will cause a flare up. Try and stick to soft foods and soups for the first 3 days.
The swelling does not usually last any longer than a week, and for most people its actually gone in 3-4 days. Just bear with it.
