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My boyfriend of 3 years, Jon died almost a year ago. We have the most beautiful son together and I cant express the connection and love we felt for each other. My question is are we still considered a family even though we didnt get the chance to marry? I know on earth we were a family, but in heaven or on the "other side" will I get my family back? My son will surely get to see his dad, so will I have the same kind of special connection also? I know weird question, I read the Bible and pretty much any book I get my hands on dealing with death, and it seems I always ask questions that have no real answer anymore. Thanks for the help, its sincerely appreciated
The stories in the Bible are mostly allegorical so don't take them too seriously. And the same goes for most modern books dealing with the afterlife - the publishers are just trying to make money.
I absolutely believe in life after death (and for good reason) but you are better off going to a counsellor or reading a book on bereavment.
Whether there is life after death, I don't know. But I do know that there is life after bereavement. My own experience with it made me realize that even if I am to be reunited with my loved ones after my own death, I still have to wait until that happens, so getting through the rest of my life is the first priority.
If you find comfort in believing that you will be a family again in heaven, go for it. Just don't forget to attend to the business of making a life for yourself and your son in the meantime.
Soul2squeeze, you sound like a smart woman. We all question whether we are going to see loved ones again when we die. The problem here is nobody really knows the answers until we are gone.
I, for one, would like to think that if we are that connected to someone in life, then we will be reconnected to that person when we die. If you feel strongly that your son will be reconnected to his father, who he is related to by blood, but didn't have the benefit of knowing his father, then it stands to reason that you will be too, because you did have that benefit.
Marriage is a contract that is made between two people to enable them to be recognized as one unit in the eyes of the law, so that they may have whatever benefits the law will allow. A marriage contract and laws are both man made. A connection as you describe is an emotional bond between two people. That connection is a lot more solid and stronger than any man made contract.
Give this situation some thought:
A man and woman decide to get married. By law, they are husband and wife. They realize in a few years that they have made a serious error in judgement and really do not love each other. As a matter of fact, they can't stand to be around each other. But in the space of those few years, they have had two children together. They decide that for the sake of the children, they will stay together. Ten years later, the husband dies of a heart attack. The wife, although sad for her two children and sad for her husband, feels nothing but relief because they did not love each, she couldn't stand to be around him, and there was not an emotional connection.
Now, the question becomes this, do you believe that, because they were married, they will reconnect after the wife dies? If there wasn't any emotional bond between them, why would they have a reason to? Because they had two children together? Maybe. But, I would think that you, in the relationship that you had, would be more likely to reconnect to your boyfriend, than this couple will, because of the love you had for each other. Emotional connections hold far more importance than any man made legal connection.
I believe you have a very strong connection and that bond is always going to be there forever. I am saying this because my son passed away and recently a person came into my life whose name is the same as my son and has helped me heal through his name. I feel the connection with the one you lose is never gone and it is exactly what you want it to be "a family". As this friend who helped me is not speaking to me at the moment, however I know "that this person's role was only to help me for a short time". The lesson I learned is the person who dies "is always always here - you just have to talk to them". My dad passed away a year ago and I honestly feel he is with me. God knows your love and that itself is a contract. I am so sorry for your loss. I pray their soul rests in eternal peace.
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