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I lost my mother August 4,2006 it was a massive heartattack it was total by suprise to me and my family. I'm still having a hard time dealing with it . My husband seems to think that I should be fine by now but I still find myself crying when I'm alone or at work. My oldest son took it very hard and he tells me when he go out to my mim and stepdads house that he sometimes sees smells or hears her is this normal or just his wishful thinking?
so sorry for your loss. i think that everyone handles grief differently and there is no timeframe to get over losing a loved one. just take every day as it comes and it will get easier. remember the wonderful times you had with her. as for your on, i totally believe that if you are close to someone and that person passes away you will definitely see, feel or smell their presence.
Vgirl, my heartfelt condolences to you babes.
Nothing I can say here will make you feel better. That will come from time and from within yourself.
All I can do is speak from my own experience:
My mum died 13 yrs ago. I was 23. I still havent gotten over it in some ways & I dont think I ever will.
All you can do is live each day as it comes for now, its perfectly ok to cry & be sad. No-one can put a time limit on when you should 'be okay'. It will differ from person to person. If you are having real trouble coping then consider getting some help, talk to someone ( a friend, doctor, healthworker, pastor). I used anti depressants for a while.
For a long while after my mum died, I thought I could smell her perfume around the house or hear her laugh (& sneeze!). At the time it gave me great comfort to think that she was happy and having fun again, & may even be with my Dad again.
Over time, these feelings disappeared.
I still miss her, especially when some life event happens (both parents missed my wedding).
All you can do is grieve, however long it takes. Remember her, laugh at the good times, cry at the sad times, be thankful for the love she showed and show it to others.
The best tribute you can do for your mum is to carry on living and grow into the woman she would be proud of. She will be watching.
Just had to answer you, lost my mother a couple years ago myself, i still thinking of my mother daily, and yes i still grieve over her. Tell your hubby that until he has to go through it himself he won't understand that sort of loss.
As far as your son seeing and smelling her my son has also said that, who are we to say it is wishful thinking? once he said mom, grandmother is in the doorway smiling his face was so drained of color i thought he would faint.
I see others answered you as well that have lost a loved one, see hun you are not the only one that still grieves even years later it is NORMAL
I lost my father too in July 2004. He had terminal cancer, very unexpected and very painful.
I have accepted his death, but that doesnt mean that my heart and soul doesnt miss his pressence. I loved and still love my daddy so much and yes sometimes when i look at his photos i smile other times i cry.
Your husband shouldnt think that you should be fine with it. Has he lost a parent??
All you have to believe in, is that your mother is at rest, like my father, in peace and they are tranquil, looking down at us from heaven and watching over us like guardian angels
When i think of that i smile, and feel re-assured but it doesnt mean i shouldnt cry. So if and when you cry dont feel bad, and your husband should support you when he see's you down.
I still have tears over my grand dad who died 5 years ago. I even cried in my ex's arms at one point, it was quite surreal. All i know is time helps but that person will allways be there and the fond memories will be there for ever. They will be watching from afar and you will grow into the most amazing person who they will be proud of
The environment of your mum's house will remind your son of your mum, and conjure up all kinds of smells that he associated with her. It's a natural way for the brain to associate environment and person.
I lost my mother August 4,2006 it was a massive heartattack it was total by suprise to me and my family. I'm still having a hard time dealing with it . My husband seems to think that I should be fine by now but I still find myself crying when I'm alone or at work. My oldest son took it very hard and he tells me when he go out to my mim and stepdads house that he sometimes sees smells or hears her is this normal or just his wishful thinking?
Getting over a loved one isnt easy escpially a MOTHER at that.I lost my fiance in Jan 2003 who Ive had 2 children by.I still think of him,cry over him,see him,smell him or even talk to him.Sometimes I find myself waking up with tears in my eyes.My sons always ask 'What can I do to bring Daddy back' and questions like that upset me so much.I am with someone else now and have had another child by him and I still cant seem to forget my fiance that passed.There is no other that can compare to him.Your husband should understand that losing a parent isnt easy and you cant forget about it overnight.Just think of all the good times you had with your mom and just know that she is watching over you and your son. Sorry for your loss.
A sudden death is always the hardest on the loved ones who are left behind. It's what's best for the person who actually dies but it's difficult on those left behind as there's no chance to prepare emotionally for the impending loss. I don't think there's any objective reality to your son's apparent sensing of her presence but I'm sure that lots of things in the house still remind him of her so I'm sure it's normal to some extent.
I lost my mother August 4,2006 it was a massive heartattack it was total by suprise to me and my family. I'm still having a hard time dealing with it . My husband seems to think that I should be fine by now but I still find myself crying when I'm alone or at work. My oldest son took it very hard and he tells me when he go out to my mim and stepdads house that he sometimes sees smells or hears her is this normal or just his wishful thinking?
I am so sorry for you loss and can tell you that the tears may always flow but that is ok because your loved you mom... It has happened to me and still I will be in a store and I think of her and bam... it starts.. I just hear her words and laugh... It does get easier but the feeling of loss I do not think ever goes away.
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