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That's far more than half my life. We were married at twenty-two, but the years prior don't count the same cuz I didn't begin to know or grow until I was almost twenty. Seems alotta people are the same way, but won't admit it....
Not too long ago, she was a part of my every day. Taking care of her, and her needs, gave me purpose.
Even when she wasn't really all there, I could hear her advise as if it were just spoken.
I'd best cling to that.
There was a service to celebrate her life. Family came from all corners of the US...
Pictures were summonsed from the dark corners of several closets, many of those pictures long forgotten...
She didn't like her picture taken, yet I still managed to find more of them than I remember.
Even still, albums are reappearing that have been long set aside for more important things.... the day-to-day hustle, and thing's that seem more pressing.... I'll get back to those albums... some day..........
Many of the decisions that would have been difficult then, are harder now. I don't have the same confident advisor...
I would like to turn back the hands of time, to the days when I took many of those pictures, and I'd like to think for all the one's I took, candidly, I also took the time to tell her in many different ways, just how much she meant to me, through the many years.
And I hope I took the time to tell her how much I love her....
Don't you miss your chance. Tomorrow doesn't always come.
I feel your loss, and yes there is never a second chance.
I have buried two wives, one on the last time we talked I had "bad" words, guess what you can never take them back, I have tried ever since then never to leave home on a bad tone.
Oh Rich, time sweetheart, you need time. Let yourself mourn. Let yourself heal. Let yourself get comfortable with the way things are now. Anyone who knows you would say that she knew how much you love her, then and now. You are gonna get through this, you just need time. Be patient with all of the steps, be patient with the laughs and the tears that may come out of you, let it all just flow like you feel it.....I believe in you Rich, you can get through this!
You still have purpose, you have a lot to do still, many people to influence with your knowledge, and love. Time, give yourself a bit of time.
I agree...no words could top the others'. Although I can't say that I have been where you are right now, just know that you have many by your side. We care deeply for you and your soul, and know in our hearts that (in time) you will persevere.
I watched my Mother struggle through the same heartache that is still fresh in your soul. I have no words of wisdom, but a simple assurance that your wife is only gone from sight, she continues to live on in your memory, in your daily rituals, in your every thought.
My Dad died after 10 months shy of 30 years of marriage to my Mom. He battled cancer, but in the end, lost his fight. He battled bravely, but near the end we called in hospice to help my Mom with the little things around the house. I know that without them, we would have been desperately alone. After the service, when everyone went home and back to their normal loss-free lives, we still remained. We felt the emptiness in everything, and it hurt.
Today, four years after my Dad's passing, my Mom is the most valued and important volunteer at our Hospice. She goes into the homes of people who are in the same state we were, just over four years ago. She is able to help them in ways that other Hospice volunteers cannot - because she has lived through it. She has experienced the loss and is able to not only sympathize, but truly empathize with their pain.
It is probably too fresh, but I'd recommend considering this valuable ministry at a later date. You are now able to help people that you would never have before... it has given my Mom a sense of meaning in place of her sense of loss.
It doesn't take away the pain, but it is a true healing balm. Giving of yourself when you only want to lie down and cry - that's when it ministers to others AND you.
oh cap sweetheart,
The memories of all the happy times spent together is what she would want you to remember.
She would not want you to be sad or lost and she'll always be with you.
It will take time to adjust, to move through the different stages of mourning, and to smile without feeling guilty, and to get back into the grove of a new phase.
It will come, it will just take time. I know it may not mean anything now (the time thing) because it may not seem that way, but it is true as you will see.
I know that nothing said can change anything, but we love you and are here for you.
For now, let your feelings run their course, it's only expected.
Lots of hugs cap, lots of them. You are in my thoughts.
hi there captain i am where you are only a few months on, my dear Mum and my brother both died suddenly with in weeks of each other, the blow was unbearable for any living soul and like yourself had many condolences from people i didn't even know, i like you say thankyou very much and how kind of you silently thinking that they have no idea of the huge hollow inside not knowing what to do or is there any point anyway and so on.
At this time someone sent me this verse which at the time i couldn't read through the tears and i have to say i'm finding it difficult now,i'll put it down for you in an effort to comfort you, she will be with you love where ever you are cause you can't see her doesnt mean she's not there speak to her as you would in life it really does help and she will hear
you she's only left for the next life a little early xxtakecare
YOU CAN SHED TEARS THAT SHE IS GONE
OR YOU CAN SMILE BECAUSE SHE HAS LIVED
YOU CAN CLOSE YOUR EYES AND PRAY THAT SHE WILL COME BACK
OR YOU CAN OPEN YOUR EYES AND SEE ALL THAT SHE HAS LEFT
YOUR HEART CAN BE EMPTY BECAUSE YOU CAN'T SEE HER
OR YOU CAN BE FULL OF LOVE THAT YOU SHARED
YOU CAN TURN YOUR BACK ON TOMORROW AND LIVE YESTERDAY
OR YOU CAN BE HAPPY FOR TOMORROW BECAUSE OF YESTERDAY
YOU CAN REMEMBER HER AND ONLY THAT SHE IS GONE
OR YOU CAN CHERISH HER MEMORY AND LET IT LIVE ON
YOU CAN CRY AND CLOSE YOUR MIND, BE EMPTY AND TURN YOUR BACK
OR YOU CAN DO WHAT SHE WOULD WANT: SMILE, OPEN YOUR EYES, LOVE AND GO ON.
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