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peaches92105 · Dec 7, 2006, 06:33 PM

I just recently lost my great grandma (two days before Thanksgiving) and I'm having trouble accepting it. She the first person that I have lost that I was really close to. I talk about her to my family and friends but nothing seems to settle my emotions down. Anytime I seem to talk about her I cry. I even try talking to her any time I can't stop thinking about her. She helped raise me when I was younger and was a big part of my life. Will accepting this come in time? Or should I talk to someone else like seek counselling?:(

valinors_sorrow · Dec 7, 2006, 06:46 PM

My condolences to you for your loss, Peaches. This is a hard time for you. The first one is the toughest-- it is where you find out you can't go over it, you can't go around it, you can't go under it -- the only way out is through. The stages of grief are fairly predictable and can include shock, anger, bargaining, guilt, anf of course sadness. If you are feeling swamped by this, do tell someone you are close to (family member or friend) and let them help you decide if you need help. But it does get easier as time moves on. One thing I can think of right off hand is to remind yourself she lived a good long life and that she would not require that you be so focused on the loss of her but rather her whole life and how you carry in you some of her for a more hopeful balance to the picture, okay? This is not to say I don't miss my mom or that there aren't still some days I wish I would find a note from her in my lunch (and I am a grown woman and she's been gone some time now) but rather that I can look down at my hands and see her hands and can remember her talking about her mother in exactly the same way. It consoles me to know she is there, like that. So while your great grandma is gone bodily, she is not entirely erased from earth - you just might have to look a little harder to find her is all.