8 weeks ago the man i was suppose to marry was killed in a car accident. My whole life has come to a halt, I am numb from head to toe, i think about him every minute of everyday and I cry all the time. Every night i go to bed hoping to not wake up, and every morning i wake up hoping to die. He was my soul mate through and through, we were made for each other and planned our future together. now i just don't know what to do? I keep hoping that it has all been a mistake & that my angel hasn't gone but i know deep down that he has. we were suposed to get married and i cannot imagine being with anyone other than him. He always promised me that he would never leave me so i always thought he would be there untill the day i died but our life together was cut short and i can't bear it. i try and pretend that he is lieing next to me in bed but i know he isn't. I just don't know what to do with out him, i talk to him all the time in the hope that his ghost may appear or that he may send me a sign but nothing has come. Please help me I'm close to suicide. thank you

* ~ * ~ * The Day He Died, I Died Too * ~ * ~ *

Homegirl 50

I am so sorry to hear that. My condolences. You are grieving, it is a process and it's normal. Is there someone else a part of his family you can share your grief with?
Maybe find a grief counseling group, others going through this. You can talk and get support.

kandyfruitcake

You poor love, my heart goes out to you, do you have family you can talk with, and what about his family? Ae you close to them, can you talk about him with them?

It's still early days to be looking for signs of him sweetheart, you're still way too raw, in too much pain. He's not with you in body, but the love will always be there, and so will the memories. He wouldn't want you to live in such agony, so for both your sakes, you must seek help, and try to do the best you can, and not try to join him.

I read a story last week that was from a young girl who'd lost her fiance just weeks prior to their wedding. It was bitter-sweet - she had their rings blessed in a small service in church on the day they would have wed, and she still wore them. You could also write - write the story of when you met, and how you're feeling - each day do your diary entry, and try to finish with a sweet memory in your book. This sounds hard, but it's a small routine that can be a comfort. Have his picture by you when you write - grieving's natural, you need to release those tears.

No, you can't imagine loving anyone else and you probably never will love anyone in the same way that you two had, but one day, you will turn that corner. He'll see to that, because with him loving you as much as you so obviously and deeply love him - he won't want you to be alone. You owe it to him to do the best that you can, and live your life the best that you can, for both of you. Sending you deepest hugs, and sympathies.xxxxx

Fr_Chuck

Losing a love one is so very hard, I have had two wives pass away and the pain and loss is so hard.

First you have to remember what would they want for us, they would want the best, and they would want us to be happy. There is no fast and easy cure, time helps as the pain turns into memories of the good times together. For me, I did find someone new, they never replace the other person, they are merley a new part of my life moving on, but the other person who passed will always be another love in my life that also never ends either.

The writing is a great idea, I talked and still talk to them both sometimes.

As for as loving someone else, you may or you may not, that only the future and life can tell. But no matter this love will always be yours and his, and he will live in you as long as you live.

lindsayminar

Would your fiance want you to give up? if you are feeling suicidal you need to go to the doctor or hospital ASAP!

find a grief counselor, or psycologist to help you organize your feelings. Also when I lost someone i loved i tried to re-focus my emotions into hobbies, my passion is photography, yours might be painting, or writting. Remember that he LOVES you and will always love you from heaven. He would only want he best for you.

sissy534

I recently lost my exhusband on March 2, 2008. I had taken him back after 13 years of not seeing him or talking to him. we lived together for about 2 years and I was mad at him for drinking and made him move out again he died 2 weeks later. I havent seen a good enough sign that he is here with me. I thought I would feel something right away.
I even sleep with his ashes(kinda crazy) I stay up late so I can actually sleep without waking up all night thinking about it. Im trying to think that the love we had was so special that I had it again for that short time and try not to blame myself Im tryng to stay busy. So I know what you are going through. Just take it one day at a time and stay strong

John31

I am so sorry for your loss. I just lost my fiancée Jan. 16th. She passed away due to a blood clot on her brain. She was here one day and gone the next and i am so lost without her now. We spent every day together when we were not working. She was my life and i keep holding to that, but it hurts so bad. I keep looking, reading and wanting her to send me some sort of sign. I know God has a reason for taking her from me, but i feel so cheated at life. I knew when we first met, she was my soul mate. She was the most down to earth and loving person. She stole my heart from the start. I know what you are experienceing. She too, promised me she would never let me go. I keep repeating that in my head. Christy was very religious and had a life full of religious up bringing and knew God had a answer for everything. I still remember her tell me, when i had a bad day that God has a reason for everything. I just have to keep those words in my head, but it doesnt make it any easier, when i think that i will never have her again. I too, have had many thoughts of not wanting to live life without her, but i know God and i know if i were to try to make my way to her, in some other means, i would never have her again. You and i have to keep in mind, that someday we will see them again. It doesnt see like it will be now, tomorrow or ever, but if there is one thing she did for me, its brought me closer to God. Only God knows when we will see them again, but i want to touch her or tell her so much. I pray for dreams or anything to have her close again. We just have to hope, that this pain will someway ease and we will be able to continue, but its not going to be easy. Please, remember that we will see them again, but only on Gods terms. Dont risk lossing him for ever. You will have him again, as i will have Christy. If you need to talk, please post email or i will post mine.

John

Homegirl 50

My heartfelt condolences and best wishes to you all.

janet nolene

My heart is with you, 7 weeks ago my boyfriend died but in my situuation I could have saved him, I knew something was way wrong, and I let his 19 year old son convince me he was fine, just really drunk when I left at 7:15 am, when I came back at 3:00 his friends were sitting around the tabe drinking beer waiting for tony to wake up, Tony NEVER sleeps past 8:00 am EVER I knew he was dead before I even opened the bedroom door, This didnt have to happen, guilt and grief are wearing me down, Stay srtong lady, remember the good times and know that at least you didnt fail him

docdeblee

Unfortunately, thousands of people deal with death of a loved one every single day..tho we feel isolated and alone, we aren't..there is someone else crying for their son, daughter or spouse too... find a bereavment group, call the hospital, they will know of one. Call a minister.. Your mate was taken for a reason, we do not know why... but you have to keep on living, and let him live inside of you... It is very painful..I know myself. Your mate would want you to continue living.. We have to go on.. thats the plan.. Time will mend and ease your pain. Surround yourself with those who love you and focus on doing and living the things your mate wanted to do..do it for him. Believe there is a reason and GOd will help you through this pain. GOd Bless