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Is it empathy that I am still grieving for my husband?

Asked Jan 18, 2011, 12:51 PM — 14 Answers
My Husband died 10 months ago. He is in my thought from dawn to dusk. Many times I do not have concentration on my worksh and I don't feel like doing anything. I try to not show when my children are at home but when alone I can't help it. Some friends say that it is my own empathy and I have to get over it.
Is it really unusual? Is my grieving lasting too long?(sorry for bad english, hope my words make sense).
Azi

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heartache14398's Avatar
heartache14398 Posts: 3, Reputation: 5
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#11

Feb 18, 2011, 08:10 AM
Comment on JudyKayTee's post
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Originally Posted by heartache14398 View Post
i lost my husband oct. 8,2008 in a traumatic accident! He was my best friend for 11 years too & my girl's best dad! He died at the age of 29! I can't let him go.....I am still grieving & I think I will always do. I CAN'T DENY IT IS actually affecting my life & I do need help for the sake of my little girl! I always feel down, sad, & angry! I am really sorry for your loss!

Have you done any counselling, tried a group, something else that works for you?

If your child is being affected by this you MUST do something to help yourself feel better and accept his death, as hard as that could be.
I haven't tried anything at all yet! My daughter is 3, I am trying to be her friend,mom & dad at the same time! She is the reason that makes me alive & strong. But she can feel when I am sad or have been crying! I get upset when she makes mistakes, I am blessed because she is being a kind girl to her mom! I MISS MY HUSBAND & BEST(ONLY) FRIEND! I see my life dark, stressful, miserable & liveless....I always try to be sociable as before but on the contrary, most of the time I am quite and unfocused in their conversations. Whenever I realize that he actually died and will never come back HURTS a lot, I can feel the crack in my heart. I hope you understand what I mean...
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heartache14398's Avatar
heartache14398 Posts: 3, Reputation: 5
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#12

Feb 18, 2011, 08:39 AM
Azi, I know how you feel! You are a strong person especially trying not to show your kids how you feel...I am going through this already but it will just take time. I want to really see someone now starting to understand that we may need someone professional to help us. I believe they are there watching over us! They will always be there and I know they want us to have a happy life, they want us to be happy.
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mizzjenni Posts: 2, Reputation: 10
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#13

Apr 27, 2011, 11:49 AM
Comment on heartache14398's post
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Originally Posted by heartache14398 View Post
I lost my husband oct. 8,2008 in a traumatic accident! He was my best friend for 11 years too & my girl's best dad! He died at the age of 29! I can't let him go.....I am still grieving & I think I will always do. I CAN'T DENY IT IS actually affecting my life & I do need help for the sake of my little girl! I always feel down, sad, & angry! I am really sorry for your loss!
I'm in a very similar situation to you. My boyfriend of 6 years and father of my 3 year old daughter was killed in a traumatic accident as well, he was hit by a truck 6 months ago at the age of 28. I hardly remember the week after he died and the funeral. It was the day after the funeral that it hit me. The day he died my dad brought me to the doctor and she gave me valium and anti depressents. On the day after the funeral I took them all at once and some other over the counter medication. It all just got too much, I couldn't comprehend the idea of never seeing him again. My mother found me in my room and I was rushed to hospital, I stayed there for a week, I just cried non stop. When I was released they sent me to bereavment counselling. I suppose it helps. I like talking about him. It makes me feel like he's not so far away. I regret taking the overdose, it was probably a cry for help. Maybe we can help each other.
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moshead's Avatar
moshead Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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#14

Oct 12, 2012, 10:57 AM
I just read what you wrote and you are probably the only person yet to seem to get what I feel. For me its only been a couple weeks and I just want to cling to everything. When his company asked for his computer back I threw a fit cause I had personal picture on there and I really thought it was his. MY daughter acted like I was just being a and brought up all this unnecessary things that happened between her and me in the past and it has nothing, even though she thinks so, to do with now. I don't know how to get through even a day. I cling to my little dog we both loved and I can't stop crying or feeling life life is over. Everyone in the family has a life to go back to and I don't. I am 65 been on disability for 10 years and get a small amount from that. His SS will only bring me a little more. A small life insurance policy with help but in the end I will probably sell this house he was so very proud to buy me. If only I could reach out and tell him how much I love him. I too wear his ring he gave me and his in on a chain around my neck. I miss him so much and don't even know how to get through the day. Every thing I do with my daughter just angers her and that makes things even worse cause now I have to put on an act that I don't feel. I just dont know how or what to do except cry.
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8track's Avatar
8track Posts: 24, Reputation: 6
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#15

Nov 12, 2012, 06:36 PM
Grieving is a process and it takes a long time. No two people grieve the same way.

My grandmother died over 15 years ago and I still have occasional grief, and dreams a couple times a month. I grieved my cat for over 2 years. Surround yourself with loving sympathetic people.
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