Can't seem to recover from death of loved one.

I loved someone for many years and I always knew he loved me, we connected as friends and we connected as far more than that. I loved him more than I?ve ever loved anyone. He was very kind, passionate, generous, fun, a truly unique person, and this can be attested to not just by me but by probably at least a thousand others. For a time he was one of my favorite reasons for living.

Fairly recently, he was killed suddenly. The shock was almost too much for me to bear. I am still mourning this loss and I am suffering from it now more than I did when he died. Everything I see, hear, and perceive brings me back to him. I have tried everything to help me move on, even just a bit, including prayer, distractions of all kinds, and I refuse to resort to something that will be harmful to me. I go to his grave and I still talk to him as if he could hear me, and I tell him the things I should have told him long ago. I still can?t recover at all from this terrible loss. He meant almost everything to me, and what?s worse is that I knew how he felt about me but I never took the time to tell him how I felt about him or even give a good enough indication. Now it?s too late and I know that when he left this world, he never knew for sure that I loved him. I know it would have made him so happy.

I am sure this happens to many people so I am hoping that someone can make a suggestion as to how I should cope with this loss. It is almost like I don?t want to move past it but for the sake of my physical and mental health I know I need to. So many good and loving people have tried their best to help me, and I want them to know I appreciate their help, but this seems to be more than I can bear. I don?t think about anything else most of the time. Nothing has ever hurt me this deeply before, as I have endured many losses of all kinds but this is different because I was truly in love for the first time and no one should ever replace this love. I know that I will never stop loving him, because true love doesn't?t die when a person dies, it lasts forever, but I should have a long life ahead of me and eventually I will have to take a different approach to the love I have for him, because I know he loved me and would not want me to suffer because of him. That?s just the way he was.

Has anyone gone through this kind of situation before? If you have, I feel your pain, and I am hoping that someone can help me, I am starting to feel desperate. Thanks so much.