I have been dating my boyfriend for two years and about 3 weeks ago he died. It was so sudden that I was just in so much shock. I thas finally hit me and I have no idea what to do. This is the worse feeling and I don't know how to make it stop. My dad died a year ago and he was there for me through everything and I feel like I have no one to get through this with. I miss him so much and I just want to bring him back. Any idea how I can help myself from not being so upset and wanting to go out with my friends again

In my experience, there is no healthy alternative to grief. My dad died when I was 13, and it took me a long time to deal with it. I resisted and held on, and denied my pain. When I finally let go, I felt it all and then it subsided. I could have done that much earlier.

As bad as it is, you only have so many tears in you to mourn these terrible losses. There is a point where you will be done grieving. Let it all wash through you, and let yourself feel your love for both of them.

It will pass in its own way.

Tao

How old are you? Who do you live with?

Why can't you go to your mom, friends, spiritual leader, counciler, etc.

I'm sure there is someone you could go to, and if your life revolved so much around your boyfriend that now you "have no idea what to do", especially after only two years (trust me, it's not that long of a time) then you need to get out and make your life about yourself, not him.
Especially now that he is dead, your life doesn't need to revolve around him anymore.

Wow. Pretty cold.
My boyfriend died 3 years ago. We, too, were together just a little over 2 years, but we'd known each other much longer and he was my best friend. I didn't know what to do, how to feel, anything. Yeah, there were people I could talk to, but the only person I wanted to talk to was him. When someone you love dies, it doesn't matter how long you've known them, it still hurts. And that's okay, and it's okay to not want to go out for a while. For me, I wouldn't necessarily say it got "better"... it's just different now. It's become something I can actually deal with. I still think about him, it still hurts, but I've been able to have serious relationships since, and I have "moved on". He'll always be special to me, but his death doesn't keep me from enjoying my life. Try and find someone to talk to. Other than that, you're doing all you can. Just grieve.

Sorry I had to reply to this. I find your response to this persons cry for help very cold, cynical, and rude. I normally wouldn't have replied to such a response but seeing that this affects someone who is grieving I'm going to. You need to realize when you respond on here to people who are under emotional distress that what you say can affect them and in a very bad way. I've been with my hubby for 16 yrs and let me just say 2 yrs may seem insignifigant to you but not to me. This person didn't have a choice in how long they were allowed to be with their loved one. So maybe you need to think before responding to such an emotional topic.

That being said.. Poohbear I'm so sorry for your loss I'm sure this is very difficult and you probably feel alone but you don't have to be alone in your grief there are several online support forums specifically for grieving over loved ones and also just going through the normal daily routines , getting out and taking a walk, even doing things like community volunteer for animal shelters and such can help you to get your mind on a healthier track while dealing with the sadness. I know for some such as myself it can be hard to open up and you want to hide away but that will only hurt you more in the end when you're ready to and you're done grieving take a few extra steps each day towards a healthier way of remembering your loved one. *big hugs* We're all here if and when you need us.

Try ywbb.org. It is a big help. I am so sorry for your life-changing, devastating loss. It makes me indescribably sad that someone would answer you so coldly.

Sending you my best wishes for the pain to ease. Many of us have experienced similar losses- you are NOT alone.

Actually... I don't even remember posting that... :o
Must have been one of my "middle-of-the-night-and-very-tired" posts... :p

You are right, I did put that very harshly... let me rephrase please...

...

[I]How old are you? Who do you live with?

Why can't you go to your mom, friends, spiritual leader, counciler, etc.
A helping hand, in person, is much more comforting we can be. (Especially, apparently, me. Sorry.)

I'm sure there is someone you could go to, and they would be able to help you when you need them the most. After only two years (trust me, it's not that long of a time) you may not have had much time, but if you cared about him this much, then it must have been a great two years. Focus on that good, not the bad.

It takes time to get over it, and it will hurt, but you are still here today, and every day you will get stronger.

(Sorry again... :()

No one can do this for you so please try to open up to your friends ,they are feeling for you and they will help you the most.

I just lost my boyfriend 4 days ago and it really hurts, I am devastated, I loved him and he was my world. I have a date on Tuesday a day after his funera, it's a lunch date with a friend, I am going to go for the date, Hopefully it gets better, I have lost my Dad, 14 years ago, My brother 5 years ago and it got better. I just hope he knows that I loved him very much and if I had to do it again, I wouldn't do anything differently, I will still love him.